


The Commander's Jewel of the Nile

by mercyful



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Alternate Universe - Ancient Egypt, Anal, Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Anal Sex, Ancient Egypt, Arab Character, Arranged Marriage, Blow Jobs, Body Worship, Bondage, Choking, Come Swallowing, Cunnilingus, Egypt, Egyptology, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Force Choking, Forced Marriage, Forced Relationship, Foreplay, Humiliation, Inappropriate Behavior, Inappropriate Humor, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Light Sadism, Loss of Innocence, Loss of Virginity, Mind Control, Mind Manipulation, Mind Rape, Multiple Orgasms, Non-Consensual Blow Jobs, Non-Consensual Oral Sex, Non-Consensual Touching, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Oral Fixation, Oral Sex, Orgasm Control, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Kink, Pregnant Sex, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rough Body Play, Rough Kissing, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Roughness, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Tension, Simultaneous Orgasm, Spanking, The Force, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Threats of Violence, Unplanned Pregnancy, Vaginal Fingering, Verbal Humiliation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-22 12:39:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 38
Words: 67,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11380371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercyful/pseuds/mercyful
Summary: A Princess of Egypt is forced into an arranged marriage with the Commander of the First Order. How will the virginal princess fare against the sexual deviant Kylo Ren?





	1. The Black Falcon

Tonight felt rather unusual compared to most. There was a slight chill in the air as the breeze blew through the open palace, caressing your bare arms as you walked toward an area of the palace reserved only for military personnel. Your most trusted handmaiden, Nura, had told you earlier that your father had requested your immediate presence in the War Room. 

Curiosity always got the best of you, so you walked swiftly and with a high degree of curiosity as you were trailed and protected by four armed guards of the palace -- your usual entourage. Why were you being summoned? Was your mother’s presence also requested? 

You were starting to wonder if anyone had been hurt, or if something had gone south with The First Order. For the past few years, you and everyone in your Kingdom had grown accustomed to the frequent visits of the First Order. Every few months, they’d land their ships around the outskirts of the palace and start their work of mining your planet’s most precious resource, what your people called el nar qua. This resource was rare, and to your knowledge, was only available on one other planet in the galaxy. You had no idea why the First Order wanted this resource so badly, but you knew it had to be of great importance. So important, in fact, that the First Order signed a treaty with your father that would give them unlimited access to mine el nar qua on your planet in exchange for the First Order allowing Egypt to remain completely neutral and independent of the galactic wars. 

Your father, a true Pharaoh of the people, signed the treaty without question. And for the last few years, that’s how things have been. Fortunately enough, there have been no major problems with the First Order. Sure, there was the occasional report of a Stormtrooper getting into an argument with someone from the market, but that even happened with regular citizens of Egypt. 

To most people in the galaxy, Egypt was considered one of the ancient planets and was most often referred to as Ancient Egypt. Sure, your planet was capable of all the technological advances as much as the next planet, but tradition was sacred to your people. A hallway lit by torches was more common than a hallway lit by electricity. An order given by your father was still documented on a scribe made of Papyrus rather than typed on a datapad. And a chariot pulled by horses was more common than a landcruiser. It’s because of these sacred traditions, as well as your father’s strict rules, that you never left the planet or ridden in a spaceship. And that was okay with you because you weren’t used to any other way. 

Today, everything seemed like business as usual, except for the fact that there had been a new ship that landed in the outskirts of the palace. The ships you’ve seen over the past several years were all very similar in color and size -- transport vessels and cargo units. But the one that landed earlier this evening was very large, completely black, and had a shape that reminded you of a falcon in the sky. 

You had been so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t realize you were already standing outside the two large doors that led to your father’s War Room. One of your guards put his hand on the door and waited for you to give him approval to open the door. “Just a minute,” you said, as you held your hand up to let him know to wait. You took a deep breath, looked down at your gold and beige colored sleeveless dress that clung to your form, and smoothed the expensive fabric around your hips. You ran your hand over your long, dark locks to rid yourself of any flyaways, and looked straight toward the door. “Open,” you said firmly, keeping your eyes on the door.

The first thing you noticed was there were more people standing than sitting, which was strange considering the table could fit at least a dozen people. Your father was seated at the head of the long table, with a very well-dressed man to his right. He had the most interesting hair color you had ever seen, which reminded you of an orange lotus, that was combed to the side without a strand out of place. 

Your mother stood behind your father, her hands folded in front of her as she looked at you and then down to the floor with a somber expression on her face. You quickly scanned the room and noticed a good number of Stormtroopers standing around the table, all holding their guns but pointed at a slightly upward direction. Good, you thought to yourself. They aren’t aiming at anyone or anything in particular.

You then realized everyone in the room was staring at you. “Baba,” you said, which meant ‘Father’ in Arabic. You waited for him to respond to you before you made your approach to him. 

“Amira,” he motioned with his hand for you to come and sit by his side, “come,” he said, choosing to speak Basic so the rest of the room could understand, you assumed. Arabic was your preferred language, but you were also fluent in Basic thanks to the best tutors in Egypt.

Something didn’t feel right, but you made your way to his left side as he took your hand in his. Your eyes went to your father, to your mother, and to the orange-haired man.

“This is the girl?” the well-dressed man asked matter of factly and with an accent you’ve never heard before, not an ounce of warmth in his face.

“My daughter, yes,” said the Pharaoh. 

“The Commander will inspect her before anything is signed,” he said with a grimace.

“Yes, General,” your father said.

“Father, what is it?” you asked, your brows furrowed and your voice stern.

“I’m sorry, Amira,” he said apologetically, eyes wide and red-rimmed but still with the composure of a respectable Pharaoh. “I had to do it for the safety of our planet. My kingdom. Our people. So many lives were in danger, and as Pharaoh, I must protect them all, always.”

“What did you do?” you said, panic rising in your voice, as you pulled your hand from his.

“You are to marry the Commander of the First Order. This arrangement was made many years ago when our treaty with the First Order was signed,” he paused and waited for your reaction.

“Go on,” you said stoically.

“It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make. How does a Pharaoh choose between his only daughter and millions of people that look to him for safety and protection? But I had to trust the fact that in time, you would come to understand that this decision was made for the greater good.” His eyes were pleading with you, and as he spoke his hands were moving wildly as if to help convince himself that this was the right decision.

You looked toward your mother and watched as several tears fell down her cheeks, one slipping past her chin and onto the floor. She put her hand over her mouth and ran from the room. 

You were in complete shock and were at a total loss for words. You’ve always had a great relationship with your father and you never doubted his love for you, and he was a man of the people, loved by his entire kingdom. You didn’t want to understand, but you had to try.

You nodded slowly, pursing your lips and lifting your eyes to the ceiling above. You just wanted to sink into the floor. Spontaneously combust. Disappear. Be anywhere than where you were now. The shock you were feeling was just too much to bear. Your thoughts were interrupted by the General.

“Clear the room for the Commander,” the orange-haired general said sharply. At that moment, everyone stood up to leave. 

“You … stay,” said the General, before realizing he was speaking to you. 

As you watched everyone exit through the doors, you saw some movement out of the corner of your eye. You turned your head to the darkest area of the room, and out walked the most imposing figure you had ever seen. He donned a long black robe, a mask that was mostly hidden by his hood, and black leather gloves. You noticed both of his hands were clenched in fists by his sides. 

He made his way over to you slowly … the tapping of his leather boots on the stone floor at a pace of two seconds per stride. Tap …. Tap … Tap. You wondered if he was doing this deliberately, as an intimidation tactic. 

It didn’t take long until he was standing directly in front of you. He was extremely tall and somewhat lanky. Your 5’3” frame barely reached his shoulders.

You stood looking at each other for what seemed like eternity, but was probably more like 30 seconds, which is still an eternity to stare at each other and not say a word. You decided to break the silence. 

“Is it you I’m to marry?” you asked, your eyes searching for a comfortable spot to look on his mask.

He said nothing but started circling you slowly, never taking his eyes off your body. You noticed his gaze roaming up and down, spending a lot of time on your breasts and ass. Suddenly you felt violated and self conscious, but you stood strong and stared straight ahead and squared your shoulders. You would not let him intimidate you. You were Amira, Princess of Egypt.

You closed your eyes for a moment, knowing where he was only by the sound of his boots on the floor. A cool chill blew in from the open windows in the War Room, carrying his scent to your nostrils. At least he smelled good. Very good, actually. Probably a cologne he obtained from one of the thousands of planets he has no doubt been to. You tried to allow the light and airy scent to distract you from your current situation.

The sound of his boots stopped, and you opened your eyes. He was clearly finished with his inspection of your physical form and was back to staring at you and saying nothing.

“Are you even human?” you asked him. Your voice came out in a light whisper, yet the annoyance that you felt was easy to distinguish.

You couldn’t tell what he was through that mask. He cocked his head to the side, still staring at you. And then he finally spoke.

“Yes.” His voice surprised you. His mask appeared to have a modulator, so it was deep and robotic and devoid of any kind of personality.

“Then can I at least look into the eyes of the man I’m supposed to marry?” you said defiantly. Where were you getting this courage? You had no idea. Your gaze was hard and full of conviction staring at the slit on his mask where you assumed his eyes were.

You heard him chuckle through the mask, something that sounded more like the sound of static than anything else. He took one step toward you and leaned down, his mask only inches away from your face. “You’ll do,” you heard him say, before he waved his gloved hand over your face. And that was the last thing you remembered before everything turned to black.


	2. Our Little Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Princess Amira has been brought aboard the Finalizer and is put in a rather unfavorable predicament.

You woke up with a jolt and knew something was wrong immediately. The smell of the air around you was different...stale. Your bed didn’t feel the same. You sat up to survey your surroundings and instantly lost your breath when you noticed the window to the right side of the rather large room. The window took up almost the entire right side and went from floor to ceiling. But that wasn’t the most impressive part. You realized that you were staring into space. An expansive, endless array of black nothingness peppered with white stars. You’ve never seen anything so beautiful and so scary at the same time. You bolted out of bed and pressed your nose and palms to the glass. 

You must have been on one of the First Order’s ships. When did you board? You don’t remember leaving your planet. You don’t even remember saying goodbye to your family! Your breaths became shorter and faster as you realized that this was the start of your new life. 

“Enjoying the view?” You spun around quickly, not recognizing the voice behind you. It was deep, but it was human. That’s when you saw him for the first time. The Commander was sitting on a stool in front of the bed, still in his robes, but he wasn’t wearing his mask. He was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, and he was looking at you. The room was dark, so you couldn’t make out the fine details of his face. But from what you could gather, he was extremely handsome. He had dark, wavy hair that fell below his chin, full lips, dark eyes and a prominent nose. You stared for awhile, hoping your eyes could adjust to the darkness so you could see his face more clearly.

“I’ve never been away from Egypt before,” you said with a hint of shyness. You stopped trying to study his face and turned to look back out the window. “It’s beautiful,” you said in a slight whisper.

You wanted to lose yourself in the moment. Forget that you were in the quarters of the Commander of the First Order. Forget about your arranged marriage and forget about how badly your heart ached that you were no longer with your family. You don’t know how long you were staring out that window, but you suddenly felt him behind you. You didn’t turn around and pretended not to know he was standing right there, until he wrapped his arms around your waist and whispered in your ear.

“The last of the treaty has been signed. We’re officially husband and wife.” His voice was soft, gentle, and his breath was warm on your ear. “I chose to forego any kind of ceremony. It was a waste of time. I hope you don’t mind.”

You were focused on his arms around your waist and the sensation of his body pressed against your backside. He felt strong, solid, and smelled so good. You felt his hair against your cheek and closed your eyes. You had never been touched by a man like this before. Your father swore that you were never to be touched by a man until your wedding day, unless of course a guard had to grab your arm and lead you to safety, which you now know was a rule imposed by The First Order.

He continued talking when you didn’t say anything. “You do know what husbands and wives do on their first night, don’t you?” His voice still soft and now full of lust. His lips moved to your neck, where he started planting soft kisses.

“Yes,” you whispered. You were a virgin, but you were no stranger to the idea of sex and foreplay. Your handmaiden Nura loved to tell tales of her personal exploits, and her friends’ personal exploits, and her friends’ friends’ personal exploits. And you loved hearing them because you were living vicariously through her.

But you weren’t ready to have sex with the Commander. You didn’t even know his name. Did he even know yours? You started to panic inside, even though the feeling of his body pressed against yours was comforting.

“I can feel your heart racing,” he whispered. He gently ran his palm down your throat and neck and grazed the front of your breast. 

“You don’t have to be afraid of me.” He caught you off guard when he quickly spun you around by your shoulders so you could face each other. “I’m never going to hurt you.”

He walked backwards a few steps and started removing his robe, and the armor underneath, throwing them on the floor beside him. The Commander stood before you in nothing but his pants and boots, still staring into your eyes as if he was trying to gauge your reaction to all of this. 

You were drawn to his sculpted body. This man was nothing but pure muscle.

He walked toward the bed and sat on the edge of the mattress, leaning forward again with his elbows on his knees. 

“Take off your clothes,” he ordered, not so gentle this time and definitely not a whisper. 

You were completely vulnerable. You hugged yourself and looked at him, eyes desperate and pleading. “No,” you whispered, your eyes starting to brim. “Please,” you whispered even softer, as you looked to the floor. 

Your felt your face burning with embarrassment and your eyes stinging, trying to hold back tears that were threatening to fall. You weren’t ready for any of this.

He broke his gaze from you, bowed his head and let out a loud sigh. You stood there hugging yourself, refusing to make eye contact with him and praying he would just leave you be.

You heard him get up from the bed and start removing his pants. Your heart started beating faster. He walked into what looked like a closet and came out shortly after wearing a pair of sweatpants. He pulled down the covers to his bed, now your bed, got in and laid down, his back to you.

“You can sleep next to me, you know. I’m not going to rape you if that’s what you think,” he said without turning around, a slight annoyance in his voice.

You moved slowly to your side of the bed, inching in, careful not to make contact with his body. You laid on your back with your eyes completely wide open, trying to process the events from today and these events that happened in the last five minutes.

The realness of the situation had finally hit you and the tears started to flow. You tried to keep your sniffles as quiet as possible so you wouldn’t disturb him, wiping your running nose and tears with the back of your wrists.

“Stop it. Stop crying,” He shifted on to his back so he could look at you. There was no mistaking his annoyance this time.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t exactly have a normal day today, so I apologize for being a human being with actual feelings,” you said sarcastically and through tears. The nerve of this guy!

You heard him take a long breath as he turned his back to you again. “Can you at least do one thing for me tonight?” he asked coldly.

“What is it?” you said, hoping it wasn’t going to be anything that had to do with being intimate.

“Don’t tell anyone we didn’t fuck. It’s going to make me look weak.”


	3. An Unexpected Ally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Princess Amira meets her new handmaiden and has a near-miss encounter with the Commander during an intimate moment.

You had been laying in bed for awhile now, resisting the urge to get up and explore the Commander’s quarters. He was already gone when you woke up, and that gave you a huge amount of relief. You weren’t quite ready to face him after your multitude of awkward exchanges last night.

You ended up crying yourself to sleep. The reality of the situation was all too much for you to bear. But with your life turned completely upside down right now, you felt much better letting everything out. You had been so happy with your life up to this point that you can’t remember the last time you let out a good cry.

You slid out of bed and stood up, scanning the room around you. You saw a power switch on the wall to your right and tapped it. The room lit up brightly making you squint. You had been in nothing but darkness for quite some time. 

You found yourself standing in the most clinically clean room you’ve ever seen, except for the messy bed. The carpets were a pristine white, the walls were a mixture of black and grey panels, and the furniture was all black leather. A leather stool lay at the foot of the bed, and there were several chairs and a couch off to the side in what looked to be a sitting area.

There was an entryway to a small kitchen that you hadn’t noticed last night. You made your way inside and noticed it was fully furnished but looked like it had never been used. You poked your head in the refrigerator and you weren’t surprised to see it was completely empty. You crossed back through the bedroom and lounge area to inspect the bathroom. You hadn’t realized how badly you needed to pee. The bathroom was spacious and clean. You noticed fresh water droplets on the inside of the shower and the lingering fresh scent obviously left behind by the Commander. Your husband. He must have left a short time ago.

You lifted up your dress and sat on the toilet, elbows on your lap, letting out a deep sigh as you relieved yourself. You stayed on the toilet for longer than necessary, your lack of motivation an obvious sign of the hopelessness you felt about your new life. After a few minutes of being lost in your thoughts, you stood up and lifted the hem of your dress over your head and threw it on the floor. You stared at your reflection in the mirror knowing that your body was His now. Your breasts, your waist, your hips, your pussy, your ass. All His, and there was nothing you could do about it out of respect for your father and your people.

You stepped into the shower and stared at the multitude of buttons on the panel. Compared to your standards, this shower was pretty high-tech. In Egypt, you were used to being drawn warm baths by your handmaidens. Full of perfume oil and lotus petals. But your savvy self managed to turn the shower on and get the right temperature going. Thankfully, the Commander had some soap, shampoo and conditioner readily available. There wasn’t a razor in sight, but you figured you can ask for one when the time came. 

It felt good to be under the water. You embraced the warmth while you scrubbed your body clean and massaged the shampoo and conditioner through your hair. After rinsing everything off, you turned your face to the shower head and closed your eyes, letting the sensation of the water hitting your body take you elsewhere. Anywhere but on this ship. But then you heard a noise. You were no longer alone.

You opened your eyes and looked through the shower glass. Your vision was limited because the shower glass was frosted, but you saw a black figure standing in front of the toilet. It was the Commander. You stayed perfectly still and held your breath, as if that would help you from being noticed.

“Relax. I’ll only be a minute.” His voice was normal, which meant he didn’t have his mask on.

You brought your arms up to cover your breasts, fearing he would come over to where you were and stare at your naked body. You thought back to your father’s War Room. The Commander obviously had no shame in blatantly checking you out when you were fully clothed. Now here you were, completely exposed.

“I said relax,” he said irritably. “There are fresh towels in the cabinet next to the sink when you’re finished.”

“Thank you,” you said meekly.

He stood there a little while longer, watching you through the frosted glass. “You can’t hide from me forever.” 

And you watched as his silhouette of darkness disappeared from the bathroom. You decided to wait a few more minutes before you stepped out of the shower to grab your towel. You looked at your dirty clothes on the floor and wondered if you would have to put them back on.

“Out here, miss,” you heard a voice call out to you from outside the bathroom. The voice was female. You secured your towel around yourself and poked your head out of the door to see who the voice belonged to. She was a plump woman in her mid-50s. Her grey hair was pulled back in a short ponytail and she wore a black, floor-length, loose-fitting skirt and a black sweater. She was making your bed. The Commander appeared to be nowhere in sight.

“Hi miss,” she chirped. “Give me one minute dear and I’ll help get you dressed.”

Dressed? Was this woman to be your new handmaiden? 

“Okay.” You walked out into the room gingerly, making sure your towel was wrapped tightly around you in case the Commander decided to show up again. “Who are you?”

“I’m Gyda, dear.” Her back was to you as she finished making your bed. “The Commander asked that I watch over you and make sure you’re given anything you need when he’s away.” She stepped toward you and cupped your face. “You’re a beauty, dear. It’s no wonder he chose you.” She headed toward the walk-in closet and started sifting through a few dresses.

“I’m not going to be much company for you,” she continued on, her voice muffled as she roamed around the closet. “I have a bad habit of talking too much, but my husband says I’m a bore because I never talk about anything interesting. You will let me know if I’m talking too much, right dear?”

You looked toward the closet and noticed she had stopped what she was doing and was staring at you.

“Oh … uh … yes, of course,” you said with a warm smile. “Although I feel any kind of conversation with anyone at this point will be more than welcome.”

Gyda came out holding two pieces of black fabric and laid them on the stool in front of the bed. “Oh, things aren’t so bad, dear. Things could be worse. Things could always be worse. I’ve been working for the Commander for awhile now, and he’s been nothing but a gentleman to me. Although I doubt he’d want me to get the word out about that. But you’ll see.” 

She placed her hands on your shoulders and smiled. You were beginning to think you could like this woman. Not only was she cheerful, but she was also motherly. Someone you felt you could trust instantly and tell your deepest, darkest secrets to without any judgment.

“Let’s get you dressed for the day, dear.”

You nodded and handed Gyda your towel as she handed you your clean clothes. You weren’t ashamed of your nudity. Your handmaidens in Egypt would see you naked all the time, and you assumed Gyda would be taking a similar role.

Your new clothes consisted of a black pencil skirt that ended below the knee and went up to your waist, just above your belly button. Your top was strapless, more like a tube top, with just the right amount of fabric to cover your breasts. A few inches of your midsection was showing. You walked over to the mirror to inspect yourself, turning to the side to see just how much of your curves were on display.

“The Commander had to approve all of your clothing, dear,” Gyda said, sensing your uncertainty about your new clothes. “He also instructed that you wear no undergarments, so you’re not going to find any in your closet if you decide to look.” She stood back and smiled at you but you noticed some empathy in her eyes.

Seriously? No underwear? Just who was this guy exactly besides a high-ranking Commander of the First Order?

“Gyda, what’s the Commander’s name? No one told me his name.” You looked at her through the mirror as she sat on the stool at the foot of the bed in back of you.

Gyda chuckled. “It’s okay, dear. These aren’t the most normal of circumstances.” She got up from the stool and walked toward you and ran a hand over your long, dark locks, which were still damp from your shower. “His name is Kylo Ren. Now let’s fix up your hair.”


	4. Entourage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amira explores The Finalizer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned guys. The next chapter will finally have some smut!

Gyda spent a good portion of the morning talking your ear off, and you loved every minute of it. You had learned that you were on The Finalizer, a Resurgent-class Battlecruiser that housed almost 80,000 First Order crew members. Gyda insisted that if you were to be on any ship in the galaxy, you’d want to be on this one because it was the safest place to be. She gave you a little more background about The First Order and the Resistance, for which you were grateful. Since Egypt was a neutral planet, you hadn’t really educated yourself on the war, and it wasn’t exactly a hot topic of conversation among your inner circles.

You were quite relieved to hear from Gyda that Kylo hadn’t restricted you from roaming The Finalizer. But you would have 2 Storm Troopers and 4 Death Troopers escorting you wherever you went. Not to keep tabs on you, she assured you, but to ensure you were safe at all times. And this of course was per order of the Commander himself.

You had the option of requesting breakfast and lunch be brought to your quarters or eating in the Dining Commons reserved strictly for the Finalizer’s Officer class. Dinner was to be had with Kylo in your quarters so long as he wasn’t preoccupied with other matters.

You skipped breakfast this morning because you’d been so engaged with Gyda, so you opted to walk to the cafeteria to get some lunch. You had asked Gyda to join you, but she politely declined, informing you that someone of her status wasn’t allowed entry into the Officer’s Dining Commons. Your face fell, realizing you were going to have to eat alone. 

“Will you be here when I get back, Gyda?”

“I should be dear, depending on when the Commander returns. If I’m gone by the time you come back, I’ll see you in the morning.” She smiled and winked at you as she dusted off the surface of a leather chair.

You smiled to yourself and watched her as she continued to clean. “I hope to see you later, Gyda.” You turned around and knocked on the blast door three times as Gyda instructed, signaling to the outside Troopers that you wanted them to open the door.

The door opened swiftly and you were instantly greeted by your security team. You’ve seen Storm Troopers before, but you’ve never seen a Death Trooper. They were considerably taller than the Storm Troopers and you noticed they carried different weapons. The idea of having security escort you everywhere you went was something you were used to, unfortunately. You never went anywhere in your Father’s palace without four of your father’s armed guards. That number was doubled when you went outside of the palace walls, which was extremely rare.

All six Troopers just stood there staring at you before you realized they were waiting for you to tell them where to escort you. “I’d like to go to the Dining Commons.” 

“This way,” said one of the Storm Troopers, which you assumed would be the lead escort. His voice was distorted, but not nearly as intimidating as Kylo Ren’s voice when he spoke through his mask. The Troopers fell in line, and you were flanked by two Death Troopers and one Storm Trooper in the front and back of you. This set up felt a bit excessive, and it made you embarrassed whenever you passed First Order personnel. Did they know who you were? Or were they trying to figure out who you were and why you needed this level of security? Did they think you were a prisoner?

It was only about a 5 minute walk to the Dining Commons. You knew you were going to be thankful for your security escorts going forward considering every hallway on the Finalizer looked the same. How did anyone know where they were going? You figured the engineers who designed the ship had a good laugh amongst themselves when they realized how long it would take for someone to memorize the layout.

“Sit here,” said one of the Storm Troopers. He was pointing to a corner table that was far removed from the rest of the dining tables. You took your seat as the rest of the Storm Troopers surrounded your table, creating a human shield from the rest of the diners. Wow, so it was going to be like that, huh? You were free to roam the Finalizer but it seemed as though your interaction with actual people would be extremely limited.

“I’ll get your meal for you,” said the lead Storm Trooper. “What’s your preference?”

You looked at him quizzically, furrowing your brows and turning your head slightly. “Um, just food. I don’t care what it is. That’s how hungry I am. Oh, and a coffee.”

“Stay here,” he said, and walked off. 

You ate in silence while staring at the backs of the Troopers blocking your view. You were surprised at the quality of the cuisine in the Dining Commons. You had assumed that since they were making large batches of food for so many people, they wouldn’t put as much effort into making prepared meals. You were glad to be wrong.

With a full belly and with coffee now in your system, you asked the Troopers to escort you to the bridge. You knew Kylo would most likely be there, but he was right earlier. You can’t avoid him forever. The bridge wasn’t too far from the Dining Commons. It was two levels up and a three minute walk after taking the lift. The entrance was an open area that didn’t have a door, making it easy for you to just walk right in behind the lead of your security team. You were hoping you wouldn’t make a scene, but your entourage was just too big to ignore.

As soon as you walked in you noticed the expansive window showcasing the endless galaxy. It was quite breathtaking. The bridge was filled with a number of personnel typing away at their stations and staring into their data monitors, all of them too busy to notice you. No doubt they needed as much focus as possible to keep a beast like The Finalizer up and running.

Your gaze was interrupted by an angry voice, a voice you recognized belonging to the orange-haired General.

“What’s she doing here?” he approached the lead Storm Trooper. His hands were behind his back, his uniform was impeccable, and again, not one orange hair was out of place. His gait was long, his stance stiff. Clearly all business.

“She requested to see the Bridge, Sir. Commander Ren’s orders were to take her anywhere she wants to go on the ship, and not without us, Sir.”

General Hux looked displeased. His facial expression looked like someone was holding a turd directly under his nose at all times. You giggled to yourself at the very thought, regretting it instantly.

Hux sharply turned his head your way before walking in your direction until he was directly in front of you. Like Kylo, he was tall, but his frame was much smaller. His eyes lingered to your breasts and midriff and back to your face. You didn’t know much about the General, but from the few interactions you’ve had with him, he totally gave you the creeps.

“Ren’s on assignment. I suggest you go back to your quarters and wait for him. There’s really no place for you here.” His eyes lowered to look at your breasts again before spinning on his heel. He made his way back to the front of the bridge, barking for a report from one of his officers.

“Asshole,” you said to yourself softly, before asking your security to take you back to your quarters.


	5. A Forceful Entry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Commander Kylo Ren takes Princess Amira's virginity.

Kylo was still on assignment when dinner rolled around, so you ate in your quarters with Gyda. It was late by the time you finished your meals. She had long since retired to her quarters for the night, and you were about to do the same. You were just about to change into the night slip that Gyda left out for you when you heard the blast doors open. It was Kylo.

He brought his hands up to his face and you heard the click and release of his mask. He lifted it above his head and tossed it on a stand in the corner of the room. The room was still well lit, so this was the first time you were really getting a good look at your husband’s face. He was gorgeous. The darkness from last night didn’t do him justice. You were suddenly grateful that you weren’t made to marry a man three times your age, or a hideous creature.

He chuckled. “I’m glad you find me to your liking,” he said with a slight smirk, his dark eyes following yours.

Shit. This is probably what Gyda meant when she gave you a brief overview of The Force today. She mentioned that Kylo was a Force user and had certain powers that made many incredibly fearful of him. Was he reading your mind right now?

“I am,” he said, taking a step toward you. 

“That’s not fair,” you said defiantly.

“There are a lot of things that aren’t fair, princess.” He took two more steps in your direction. “Do you think it’s fair that a husband can’t fuck his wife on his wedding night?”

He removed his belt and shed the first layer of his robes, throwing them over the chair.

“Well?” He clearly wanted an answer.

“I’m a virgin,” you said, hoping he would be more sensitive as to why you were so scared last night.

“Don’t you think I already know that?” He took off the second layer of his robe, his armor, and peeled off his gloves. He took off his black shirt, this time throwing it onto the floor. You noticed several scars across his chest and abs, but you tried your best not to stare. He was so sculpted, so strong. You wouldn’t be able to fend him off if he tried anything with you.

“It’s going to hurt more if you fight it,” he said. He came closer to you and leaned down, his lips about an inch away from yours. He moved in and pressed his lips to yours, his tongue gently forcing its way past your lips and into your mouth in an exotic dance with yours. He smelled good, like his shower soap and something else.

This was your first kiss. You placed your palms up against his chest and followed his lead. You felt him place his hands on your hips, one of them moving to the small of your back to pull you closer. The hand that was on your hip moved upwards to your top, tugging it down and exposing your breasts. You broke away from the kiss and covered yourself with your arms, avoiding eye contact with him. 

“Don’t”, he whispered, pulling your arms down by your sides and holding them there.

You felt your nipples hardening. He took a step back and stared at your tits with a look of appreciation. He licked his bottom lip and brought his hand under the hem of your skirt. His hand rose up your thighs and moved directly to our ass and gave it a firm squeeze. “No panties. Good girl,” he whispered in your ear.

He kissed you again and you felt a finger tug at the waistband of your skirt as he started to pull it down with both hands.

You put your hands over his wrists in an effort to slow him down and stop him, but that only made him tug at your skirt harder. He broke the kiss and forcefully pulled your skirt the rest of the way down. You now stood before him completely naked, completely exposed, completely vulnerable. You made no effort to cover your tits and pussy. From the direction things were going, those actions seemed like a lost cause.

“Lay down on the bed,” he commanded, palming his cock over his pants.

You walked over to the bed slowly, feeling his eyes on your ass the entire time. You sat down on the edge and waited for his next order. You looked down at his leather pants to see his erection. You had only seen one hard cock in your life, and that was because you and one of your handmaidens had caught one of your father’s guards masturbating to a slave girl while she undressed. Kylo’s was much bigger than that.

He took off his boots and pulled down his pants, his hard cock bouncing up from the release of his trousers. It looked even bigger without his pants. There’s no way that was going to fit inside of you.

“I don’t want to do this.” You were in panic mode, not really thinking before speaking. 

He made his way over to the bed. “Lay on your back and spread your legs.”

You did as he said, and he climbed on top of you, elbows on both sides of your face, his legs spreading your knees further apart. You felt his cock brush up against your pussy. You felt a little bit of shame at how pleasurable the contact felt. You held your breath, squeezed your eyes shut and waited for him to take you.

“I’m not a rapist, Princess. Don’t turn me into one tonight,” he whispered huskily in your ear, his breath warm against your skin.

You placed both of your hands on his solid chest and looked into his dark, puppy dog eyes. “Just go slow. Please.”

“Just relax,” he said, kissing you again. The kiss was just a distraction. You immediately felt his tip align with your entrance and push himself inside of you. You cried out in surprise and pain, breaking your kiss.

“It’s just the tip, Princess. I’m not even in. We’ve got a long way to go.” He spoke softly, his lips grazing yours as he spoke.

“Fuck,” you cursed. You already felt so stretched and full. “Can we just stay like this for a little while?”

“I can’t,” he said, and pushed himself all the way inside of you. You cried out again, and he put his hand over your mouth to stifle your scream. 

“Shhhhhh,” he said. “It’s OK, it’s OK.”

You stared straight at him, eyes wide and pleading at the sudden and unwelcome intrusion and violation of trust. Your eyes were filled with tears.

“Shhhh” he continued, as he began to move his cock in and out of your pussy slowly. “You’re OK,” he said. “It’s better to do it like this.”

His hand was still placed over your mouth to stifle your cries. You instinctively tried to push him off you with your palms on his chest. He removed his hand from your mouth and took both your wrists in his hand and held them above your head.

“Don’t push me away, Princess.” He continued to move in and out of your pussy, picking up his pace.

“Please stop,” you whimpered, turning your head to the side so he wouldn’t see your tears.

“Fuck, your pussy is so tight.”

You closed your eyes and bit your bottom lip. After several minutes, some of the pain you felt started to give way to pleasure. Every so often he’d angle himself in a higher position, so you’d feel the top of his cock rub against your clit.

“I know you like that,” he whispered through heavy breathing and moans.

“Who does this pussy belong to?” he asked, slowing down his pace and looking into your eyes. He lifted himself off his elbows, his palms flat on the mattress on either side of your face.

“Tell me who this pussy belongs to,” he said more forcefully.

“It’s yours,” you said in between breaths, focusing on taking his large cock and trying to block out the remainder of the pain you felt.

“What is?” he demanded.

“My pussy’s yours,” you said breathlessly.

“That’s right. No one else is going to have this pussy because it belongs to me.”

He dropped back onto his elbows and picked up the pace again, plowing into your pussy. Several strands of sweaty hair clung to the sides of his face, and several droplets of sweat fell from his chest onto your tits. He had quite the look of concentration on his face.

“You look so beautiful taking my cock, Princess.” His movements inside you grew quicker, his breathing became faster, right before he released. With his face buried in your neck, he cried out in pleasure, filling you with his warm seed. You felt his cock pulsate inside your pussy, and the warmth of his come filling you up from deep inside. He stayed on top of you like this for several moments before pulling himself out of your pussy. You winced at the last remnants of pain as he did this.

He sat back on his heels in all his sweaty glory, staring at your naked body with pride. His semi-limp dick was coated in your shared juices and still looked massive to you. He took a deep breath and laid beside you on the bed before placing a gentle kiss on your lips and turning off the lights.

“Thank you, Princess,” he said, as you felt his warm, sticky come drip from your pussy to your inner thighs.


	6. Another Perspective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day after Amira lost her virginity to the Commander, and we can finally see what's going on in Kylo's head.

**_Kylo Ren ___** ____

__You sat up on instinct, your body trained to wake at the same hour every morning. You stretched your shoulders, rolled your neck from side to side and looked down at her. She was wrapped in a sheet that was twisted around her body, her legs and back exposed. You reached out and lightly traced your finger from the top of her shoulder, down to the top of her ass, careful not to wake her. Her skin was smooth and soft, like fine silk. The color of your pale skin a stark contrast to her tanned body given to her by the Egyptian sun. She was a beauty, and although you had more than your fair share of the galaxy’s finest women, nothing compared to Amira._ _

__You replayed last night in your mind. You had felt like an animal when you had finished with her and had desperately wanted to apologize for being so rough. The guilt ate at you until you finally fell asleep, but still lingered in your mind the morning after. Your conscience wasn’t going to let this go lightly._ _

__You could have been more gentle, and you most certainly could have better prepared her for what was coming. The size of your cock surprised even the most experienced women. But you wanted nothing less than to be inside her pussy, your hunger carried over from not being able to take her the first night you lay together. You had purposely kept yourself awake that first night waiting for her to fall under sleep’s spell. You had watched her chest rise and fall, listening to her slow breaths, imagining her underneath you, begging for you to fuck her until you drifted into a slumber of your own._ _

__But last night you wanted nothing less than to be inside her pussy. You had sensed the longer you dragged things out, the more her growing nerves would have caused her to resist. It was a completely selfish act. Amira deserved better than to be force fed your cock. Tonight, you would explore her body from head to toe to make up for it._ _

__You slid the sheet down from the front of her body and looked at her breasts. They were full and perky, her nipples dark and hardening in the exposed air. You wondered how’d they’d feel against your tongue. You imagined the taste of her pussy and your tongue lapping against her soft clit. You moved to lift her sheet up to look at her pussy but then stopped yourself. You had the rest of your life to enjoy her body._ _

__You picked up your datapad from the night table and typed out instructions to one of the crew members who accompanied you to Egypt._ _

__“Bring me one of the flowers and leave it with one of my guards outside my door.”_ _

__Before returning back from Egypt, you had several crew members from your Command Shuttle collect a number of flower plants to take back to the Finalizer. You wish it had been your idea, but her parents insisted the flowers would make her feel more at home. You heeded their advice, realizing it was the least you could do for your new bride._ _

__Your datapad dinged. You looked at Amira and felt relieved when it didn’t wake her. “A water lily has been left outside your door, sir.”_ _

__“Send Gyda to my quarters in 15 minutes. Have her leave the flower next to Amira on my pillow. And don’t message me again.”_ _

__Time for a cold shower._ _

__**_Amira Almasri ___** __ __

__

__Your senses woke you. The dull pain between your legs and a familiar smell. A floral smell. You opened your eyes and you saw it. A purple water lily laid beautifully on Kylo Ren’s pillow. You reached out and grabbed the flower and brought it up to your nose, inhaling deeply. You smiled to yourself sheepishly. You didn’t want to like this random act of kindness from Kylo, especially after the rough way he handled you last night. But somehow, you did. You brought the flower up to your nose again before placing it beside you on the nightstand. The sudden shift in your body position bringing back the dull pain you felt in your pussy._ _

__“You’re up!” You looked to the foot of the bed and saw Gyda coming out of the walk-in closet holding a fresh pair of bed sheets._ _

__“Good morning,” you said with a sleepy smile, still intoxicated no doubt by Kylo’s earlier gesture._ _

__“Sleep well?” Gyda chuckled. How did she know? She’s Gyda. Of course she knows._ _

__Your cheeks turned three shades of red as you tried to think of how you could respond. You were thankful that you didn’t have to because Gyda was already talking again._ _

__“Let’s get you in the shower, dear. I can’t make the bed with you in it!”_ _

__You stood up, dropping the sheet behind you on the bed and that’s when you saw the blood. A few red smears on the white fitted sheet. “Oh!” You looked down at the inside of your thighs and noticed his dried come mixed with light red. Gyda walked over to you, taking your arm in hers and leading you to the bathroom. “It’s normal, dear. Nothing to get yourself worked up over. Just go ahead and wash up now and I’ll fix your bed for you.”_ _

__“It’s my blood,” you said, not sure if you were asking her or just making a statement. You stood in the bathroom doorway, still looking at the stains on the sheet. “I’m sorry, Gyda. I’m so embarrassed.”_ _

__“Sweetheart, nonsense!” She started stripping the bed while talking to you. “This isn’t the first time this has happened. The only thing you need to worry about is getting in that shower, hmm? I’ll see you when you’re all nice and clean.” She smiled warmly, carrying the dirty sheets in the direction of the blast doors._ _

__You smiled awkwardly, nodded and closed the bathroom door. What did Gyda mean by that? … This isn’t the first time this has happened? You wondered how many women Kylo brought back to his quarters before you. Did he have sex with women on other planets while he was on assignment? You assumed Kylo was a man of experience, but you never dwelled on it. You were surprised at the sharp pang of jealousy you felt over all the women who came before you._ _

__You imagined them to be better lovers than you. You had no experience. The only man you had hugged was your father. Did you leave Kylo unsatisfied with your performance last night? Your behavior must have been unlike the many women who came to his bed with no protest, spread their legs willingly and took his cock with readiness. You were suddenly mortified at your behavior last night. You were his wife, and you had behaved like a child. It was no wonder why he wanted to get things over with quickly. But he did leave you a water lily. That had to count for something, right?_ _

__Grasping to that little bit of hope, you stepped into the shower, wincing as the water made contact with your pussy. You wondered how long the pain was going to last, and if you’d always be sore after fucking him. It would take you quite some time to get used to his size. You made a mental note to ask Gyda about these details. It’s not like you had anyone else to ask. You scrubbed your entire body, paying careful attention to your pussy, clenching your teeth and sucking in a breath at the discomfort you felt washing yourself there._ _

__When you had finished toweling yourself off, you looked at your naked reflection in the mirror. It was only one night, but somehow the loss of your innocence made you feel quite different. There was no turning back now. Your virginity was gone. Tonight, if he so desired, you were going to try and please your husband. You wanted him to forget that anyone ever came before you. You wanted him to forget about your childish behavior last night. But you’d need to pick Gyda’s brain first. You wrapped your towel snugly around your body and smiled to yourself in the mirror. “I’m ready, Gyda!”_ _

__**_Kylo Ren ___** __ __

__

__

__“Why do you keep doing that?” The sound of Hux’s voice was like blades against carbonite._ _

__“What?” you asked, staring into the galaxy from the bridge, not bothering to look at the General._ _

__“That!” Hux pointed to your boot. You noticed yourself tapping it against the bottom of the glass panel. You stopped moving your foot and looked at Hux for a few moments before turning around and walking to the exit of the bridge._ _

__“We’ve got a lot to do, Ren,” Hux called out sharply. He knew his attempt to keep you on the bridge was a useless effort._ _

___“Tomorrow Hux,” you called out, not bothering to slow your stride or turn around and look at him.  
  
You walked swiftly through the hallways of the Finalizer, eager to get back to your quarters, your strides long and with purpose, crew members moving closer to the opposite side of the corridors as you passed, giving you as much room as possible._

__You felt anxious. You were never anxious. It was obviously the girl. You felt your dick getting hard knowing you’d be inside her very soon. You’ve been thinking about it all day. Hux had called you out several times in the middle of conversations. You clearly hadn’t been listening to a thing he said. But you didn’t care about what Hux had to say, and that was no different from any other day._ _

__You finally made it back to your quarters, the two Death Troopers and four Storm Troopers on full alert. “Sir,” the lead Storm Trooper said, backing away from you the closer you got to the door._ _

__“Leave.” You watched them scatter like roaches before entering your code to open the blast doors._ _


	7. Let's Try This Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Commander familiarizes himself with Amira's body.

**Kylo Ren**

You pulled down your hood, preparing to take your helmet off as you entered your quarters. Amira was sitting by the window and had been looking to the stars. She looked at you, her big brown eyes containing a mix of surprise and curiosity you haven’t yet seen. 

“Did I startle you?” Your helmet in one hand, the other you used to smooth over your hair.

“A little,” she smiled. 

You put your helmet on the stand and took off your outer robe, throwing it onto an empty chair. 

“Did you eat?” 

She nodded. “Yes, with Gyda.”

You felt badly that you weren’t able to dine together yet, but the First Order had been on high alert for several days. A transmission had been intercepted about a possible Resistance attack on a First Order fleet in the Outer Rim territories and decoders have spent the last few days verifying the report and gathering additional intelligence. If the report turned out to be accurate, you’d no doubt be sent on assignment to the Outer Rim.

You looked at the small table beside her and noticed the water lily you left for her this morning floating in a crystal bowl. You were happy at her acceptance of the flower. You had wondered earlier how she’d react to it, nervous that she’d disregard your gift and toss it aside without a second thought. She followed your gaze to the flower and smiled timidly.

You took a seat in the chair beside her, turning it in her direction. She looked stunning in her light mint-green maxi dress, the front slit of the dress reaching the high point of her hip. Her legs were crossed, the full length of her leg was exposed. You took your gloved hand between your teeth and pulled it off, doing the same with the other hand, tossing them on the floor in front of you. You placed your hand on her knee and moved it up to her thigh, looking for some kind of negative reaction in her face.

“Is this OK?” you spoke gently.

She took a breath in, still looking a little nervous, no doubt from her lack of experience. She uncrossed her legs and separated her knees a little, clearly an invite to let you keep going.

“I know you don’t trust me right now, but you don’t have to be afraid of me.” You leaned in for the kiss, moving your hand further up her thigh. You felt her place her hand on your cheek as you kissed, her thumb caressing your face as you touched tongues and skimmed your teeth against her bottom lip.

“You’re going to really have to trust me now,” you said, standing up and taking off your shirt and boots. “Lean all the way back in the chair and spread your thighs.”

**Amira Almasri**

“What?” you said nervously, straightening up in your chair, doing the opposite of what he told you. You hoped you misheard him.

“Just do what I say,” he smirked. He tossed his belt buckle to the floor and pulled off his pants, his cock already rock hard. He placed his hands on both arms of the chair and kissed you again. 

“Please? I don’t ever beg but I’ll do it for you,” he said against your lips.

He reached over to his boots and pulled a small knife from a hidden side pocket, bringing it up to your chest. You gasped, not knowing what he was going to do with it. He placed the blade under the fabric right above your cleavage and cut through the fabric, all the way down to the bottom of your dress, in one quick movement. You were both completely naked now.

“I told you I’m never going to hurt you, princess.”

He grabbed your ankles and pulled, dragging your butt closer to the edge of the chair. “Oh!” you yelped in surprise, not expecting his strength. He squatted in front of you, spread your thighs and inhaled deeply. You closed your eyes, embarrassed at his assertiveness.

You felt his finger run the length of your pussy, grazing your clit and stopping at your entrance. Without putting his finger inside of you, he gathered the juices from your arousal and started running them up and down your slit. He did this for a few moments before taking both hands and separating your outer lips with his thumbs, exposing your clit. He inhaled deeply again. “You have a really pretty pussy,” he said slowly, his voice low, husky and full of need.

You felt it before you knew what was coming. He pushed his face into your pussy, the tip of his tongue flicking your clit at a steady pace. “Shit,” you breathed out and took another deep, loud breath in, watching him work. He pressed his tongue flat against your clit and licked upward firmly before bringing it down to your entrance. His tongue going in and out of your pussy as his nose lay flush with your clit gave you a sensation like no other. His hair was brushing against your inner thighs, one of his hands laid over your wrist and the other splayed over your taut belly. You put your hands in his hair to hold him steady as you rotated your hips and rubbed your clit against his nose.

You felt an electric buzz resonating from deep within. You knew what was coming. Your breaths growing shorter, faster and louder as he began flicking your clit with the tip of his tongue again. You grasped his hair and pulled gently as you felt yourself release. “Oh shit,” you cried out, the room was heavy with your breaths and moans. You uncontrollably squeezed your thighs together, locking him in place. He waited for your legs to stop shaking before he took his mouth away from your pussy. He grinned at you from between your legs, his lips and chin coated with your arousal.

Wiping his chin off with the back off his hand, he looked at you with a smirk before lifting you up off the chair and bridle carrying you to the bed. You yelped in surprise, wrapping your arms around his neck, hoping to help secure yourself in place. But he held you with ease, and you relaxed yourself in his hold, right before he gently tossed you onto the bed on your back.

You propped yourself up on your elbows, eyes on Kylo, as he knelt before you, taking your ankles in his hands to spread your legs apart. He was right against your pussy, stroking himself. He placed the head of his hard cock on your clit and started moving it up and down your slit, coating himself in your juices. 

“Does that feel good, Princess?” he asked, still stroking his cock against your pussy, his eyes moving from your pussy to your face and back to your pussy.

“Mmmmmm….. yes,” you said. You felt so good you were basically incoherent … the pleasure making it hard for you to form words.

“I can still taste your pussy in my mouth,” he whispered huskily, stroking the base of his cock faster. “I’ve never tasted a pussy that good. I’m so glad this is all mine.”

He placed your ankles on either side of him as he positioned himself over you, his forearms and elbows pressed against your shoulders, locking you in place. He kissed you passionately, the most animated kiss you’ve shared yet with Kylo. He broke the kiss as he positioned his cock against your entrance and pushed himself inside you slowly.

You were still sore from the night before, but he had made your pussy so wet and you were full of need, that the pleasure overtook any discomfort you felt.

He buried his cock to the hilt and stopped, whispering in your ear. “Is this OK?” You nodded. “Keep going,” you said. He moved in and out of you slowly. You felt so full, every sensation in your body heightened as he lowered his mouth to your nipple. You wrapped your arms around him and held him, a more welcoming gesture than your palms pushing against his chest the night before.

“I’m going to move a little faster now. If you want me to stop, I will,” he said.

Again, you nodded. You focused on everything around you. The way the muscles on his back felt against your hands. The wet slapping noise made by both of your bodies. His balls bouncing against your asshole. His heavy breathing in your ear. You were both covered in a sheen of sweat, your hands slipping around his back as you tried to grasp on to him for leverage. You dug your fingernails into his flesh, not able to contain your spasms of pleasure. Your orgasm was building again.

“Come with me,” he commanded through gritted teeth, eyes locking with yours. “Milk my cock with your pussy.”

A few more pumps of himself inside of you and you came together. The room filled with the sound of your pleasurable moans and cries as he buried his face in your neck. You reached up to grab the back of his neck and held it against you, his hair felt soft against your face. You felt the familiar feeling of his warmth squirting deep inside of you, his cock twitching from within and your pussy pulsating and clenching around his girth.

You stayed in this position for a few moments before he rolled on to his side. He planted a gentle kiss on your lips. You placed your palm on his cheek and looked into his eyes. You gazed into them deeply, searching for something you can take with you to sleep, anything about this man you’ve known for a few short days.

He chuckled softly as he took your hand by the wrist and kissed the inside of your palm. “Not tonight, Princess.” And it wasn’t long before you both drifted off into a peaceful slumber.


	8. Claimed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amira discovers a new sexual position and Kylo stakes his claim.

You woke up before him this time. It wasn’t his slow and steady breathing that woke you but rather his large and extremely warm body pressed up against your backside, his long and lanky muscled arm draped over your waist. What a far cry from the intimidating man you had met in your father’s War Room. Who would have thought the Commander loved to cuddle? 

You lay in his embrace, thinking back to last night, stomach fluttering over the things he did to your body. You could feel your pussy tingle at the very thought of him swirling his tongue over your clit, preparing you to take his swollen cock. You squeezed your thighs together for any kind of friction against your sex but it just wasn’t enough. You reached down between your legs and started rubbing your clit, still feeling the stickiness on your pussy and dried come on your inner thighs from last night, your movements slow and steady so you wouldn’t wake Kylo. 

You separated your knees as much as possible, but it was a bit difficult to manage since you were laying on your side. It wasn’t long before your fingers were sliding up and down your clit with ease. You dipped a finger inside your cunt to get more juices to rub around your clit. The warm wetness took you back to Kylo rubbing the head of his cock up and down your clit. 

You were so close to coming, rubbing your pussy faster with your two fingers in swift movements, spreading your arousal around your clit and outer lips. You closed your eyes to concentrate, trying your best not to make any sounds or sudden movements. But before you could release, you saw him in your sideview. Kylo had his lips to your ear. “Did I say you could come?” His voice deep, full of lust, his warm breath tickled your ear and neck. You froze and stopped what you were doing, mortified that he caught you in such a private act and even more so with him laying beside you.

Kylo grabbed your wrist and moved it away from your pussy to prevent you from continuing to pleasure yourself. He flipped you on your stomach and got up on his knees. You felt a sudden rush of cool air and noticed that he had tossed the sheets across the room. You were both still naked from last night.

“Get up on your knees and keep your elbows down on the bed,” he commanded with haste.

You did what he said, and quickly. You felt completely vulnerable and exposed, your ass and pussy completely presented to him. You saw him stroking himself out of the corner of your eye as he placed his palm on the top of your ass. You felt the air against your wetness and knew he had the perfect view of your glistening pussy covered in your arousal.

“I wish you could see what I see, Princess,” he said, breathing heavy, continuing to pump his cock. “I don’t even have to touch your pussy yet to tell how much you want my cock. Look at how wet you are for me.”

He slapped your ass, making you yelp in surprise. You felt his finger trace your entrance, gently pushing it inside of you. You gyrating your hips slightly, trying to find anything to rub yourself against and ease your aching. He dragged his finger back up your pussy and stopped right at your back entrance. You froze, wondering what he was going to do next.

“Relax, Princess. As badly as I want to, I’m not going to claim this ass today,” he said. He brought his finger back down to your pussy and inserted it inside of you again. “Baby steps,” he whispered, bringing his fingers to his mouth and tasting your juices.

You heard him spit and felt his saliva drip on your backside and slide all the way down to your entrance. “I think you’re ready for this cock, love,” he said. “Tell me that you’re ready for this cock.”

“Mmmmmm …. I’m ready for your cock, Kylo. Please,” you begged.

“That’s a good girl. This cock is all yours, Princess,” he whispered.

You felt him place the tip of his dick at your entrance and place both hands on your hips with a firm grip. You arched your back as far as you could go, gasping when he slid himself balls deep into your pussy. He gave a long, loud groan, and in your side view you could see his eyes closed and head tilted back, enjoying your pussy fully. 

His cock felt so different inside you in this position. He felt larger, you felt tighter and more full. You felt like such a dirty girl just taking his cock on all fours, and it was turning you on even more along with the sensation of his balls slapping against your clit with each stroke. He started out slowly at first, taking his cock out all the way but leaving his head pressed against your entrance before he entered you again. He did this for a few moments before moving faster inside of you. You backed yourself up against his cock every time he entered you, meeting his strokes with a hunger you’ve never felt before.

“Look at you,” he said huskily, pounding into you even harder. “So thirsty for my cock. My girl.”

He placed his hand on the back of your neck and pushed your head into the bed. His pumping growing more intense, his balls making a loud, wet slapping noise against your pussy. You lost all self control and couldn’t hold out any longer. The fullness inside of your pussy and the tapping of his balls against your clit was too much. You came on his cock, circling and gyrating your hips to try and feel every millimeter of him inside of you. Your screams were loud, your pussy clenching and unclenching around his cock, no doubt fueling his own orgasm. You were grateful for being down on your elbows already or else you surely would have collapsed from your shaking limbs. It wasn’t long before you felt him squirting inside of you, moaning and saying your name. His hands dug into your hips, squeezing your flesh to give him any kind of leverage to push himself deeper inside your pussy. His moans continued for a long time, as if he didn’t want to stop coming. With a few more short strokes, he pulled out of you slowly, and you felt his warm come drip down the front of your pussy, onto your clit and inner thighs.

You turned yourself onto your back to lay next to Kylo, where you watched him lay, panting and out of breath and covered in a layer of sweat, his hair damp and his chest rising and falling. He looked over at you with a smirk on his face, reached down and grabbed your hand and brought it up to his lips. 

“I’m beyond late to where I need to be. I’m going to grab a shower, and I’m going to have to leave quickly, but I want you to know that if I had any choice, I’d want to stay here.” He searched your eyes, waiting for your response.

“If not today, then there’s always another day,” you said with a smile. Your hand was still in his. He brought it up to his lips again and kissed it gently.

“Here.” He reached back toward the night table, opened up the top drawer and pulled out a box and opened it. Inside it was a beautiful ring with a diamond almost the size of your eyeball. He took it out of the box and placed it on your ring finger. It was absolutely breathtaking, and you couldn’t keep your eyes off of it.

“I wanted to give this to you the first night we were together, but I didn't for obvious reasons. I kept it for when you were in a better mood.” He chuckled.

Your mouth was open in surprise, and you had no idea how long it had been open for. “It’s … it’s incredibly beautiful.” You moved it around just to see it sparkle. “Thank you,” you looked up at him and kissed his soft lips.

“Never take it off. Not only will it tell everyone in the First Order that you belong to me, but there’s also a tracking device inside of it. I’ll always know where you are at all times. If something terrible were to happen, you wouldn’t be in danger for long because I would find you,” Kylo said sternly. “I’ll always find you, and I’ll do my best to keep you safe.”

You weren’t sure if this was a good or bad thing. You realized that not only was this a ring to symbolize your marriage, but it also allowed Kylo to further stake his claim on you and protect his property. You barely knew him, but you had the feeling he was going to be extremely possessive, jealous and overprotective.

“You’re not wrong,” he said, looking a little annoyed. Ooops. You really needed to be more careful with your thoughts.

“And yes, you do,” he said as he stood up and walked into the bathroom.


	9. A Firm Grip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Finalizer goes on lockdown after a security breach, and Amira sees a side of Kylo she hasn't seen before.

Gyda just finished helping you get ready for the day. She had brought out a form-fitting beige/gold dress, spandex in material and sleeveless, decorated with microbeads and crystals. The hemline went just below your knees. You turned around in the mirror, admiring the shimmer and reflection of the dress with every movement.

“You look beautiful, dear. Now sit down on the chair so I can fix your hair.” But before you even sat down, an alarm started sounding off, so loudly that the both of you had to cover your ears. You noticed red lights flashing in several corners of the room just below the ceiling. 

“Gyda, is this supposed to be happening?” you shouted. She looked at you in confusion, her hands still covering her ears. You had the feeling she could barely hear you. The blast doors opened and your Trooper entourage came rushing in, making both you and Gyda scream out in surprise.

One of the Storm Troopers grabbed your arm and started pulling you out of the room. “Come with me. Quickly!” he said in the familiar robotic voice. 

“We’re taking Gyda,” you shouted, trying to pull your arm away from him. His grip was tight and pinched your arm. His firm grip, no doubt, you attributed to his fear and adrenaline running through his body.

“Get yourself to safety, dear! Go! Don’t worry about me!” Gyda yelled.

“Fuck!” You gave in and allowed yourself to be led out of the room.

You followed your Trooper entourage, the one Storm Trooper never letting his grip off your arm while the two Death Troopers and three Storm Troopers followed closely behind. You weren’t as tall as they were, your two strides equal to their every one. They were moving too fast for you and you stumbled, falling on your knee and hip and crying out.

“Get her up!” you heard one of the Storm Troopers yell. 

One of the Death Troopers grabbed you and flung you over his shoulder as your team continued the procession to what you assume was a more secure room. Your hip was pounding on the hard armor on his shoulder as he jogged to your destination. 

It wasn’t long before you made it to a windowless room with just three leather chairs in the center of it. There were at least a dozen video monitors next to the blast doors. The monitors showed the chaos on board in real time -- Storm Troopers, officers and other personnel running down corridors and bumping into one another. Two Storm Troopers stayed in the room with you while the two other Storm Troopers and Death Troopers stood watch from outside the door, their blasters ready and in hand. You still had no idea what was going on, and you had no idea where Kylo was. You hoped he was OK. You hoped Gyda was OK, too and found a place that was safe.

“What’s going on?” you asked the lead Storm Trooper in the room with you. “Why am I in here? Where’s the Commander?”

“Our orders were to bring you here in case of a security breach,” he answered. 

“What was the breach?” you asked.

They both ignored you and continued to watch the monitors.

“What was the breach?” you asked again, louder and more annoyed.

One of the Storm Troopers turned around and grabbed your arm and threw you into a chair. “Stay put and stop talking,” he said, before walking back over to the monitors.

You winced as you felt that same sharp, throbbing pain on your hip where you fell. You wanted to lift your dress to see if it was swollen and bruised but decided to do it when you were alone and not with two strange men in a room with you. You don’t know how long you’d been sitting in your chair and watching the monitors, but it must have been awhile because you had dozed off, jolting awake at the sound of the blast doors opening. In walked Kylo, mask and all, and you had never been happier to see him.

You stood up as he walked over to you and took you in his arms. “Amira, you’re safe,” his modulator masking the concern in his voice. He let go of you and held you by the shoulders and started inspecting you. “Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m fine,” you said, as his gloved hands traced your face, neck and arms, stopping at several bruises on your upper arm that were left by the Storm Trooper who had grabbed you.

“Who’s in charge?” Kylo barked, not turning around to face the Troopers. His hands were by his sides, fists clenched. You can feel him seething behind the mask.

“I … I am, s-s-sir,” said the Lead Storm Trooper, teetering between the corridor and the hallway. It looked like he wanted to make a run for it, but he wouldn’t have been able to outrun Kylo.

“Kylo he was only trying to help ….” you began to speak, but Kylo reached to his side and pulled out his lightsaber, spun around and ignited it, and plunged his red blade right through the helmet of the Storm Trooper. You didn’t have time to process it. It was over before you realized it began, and you screamed as the Storm Trooper’s lifeless body slumped to the floor.

Kylo turned off his weapon and placed it back on his belt.

“I said not a hair on her head was to be harmed. I meant it,” he said to the rest of the Storm Troopers. His tone short, harsh, severe. The men were lined up side by side as Kylo paced in front of them slowly, looking at the ground in front of him as if that were more interesting.

He stopped pacing and turned to the closest Storm Trooper. You wondered if he pissed himself underneath his white armor. “Congratulations, you’re in charge now.” 

“Yes, sir,” the Storm Trooper replied.

“And tell Hux you’re down a man.”

Kylo turned on his heel to walk back to you just in time to catch you from fainting.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

 

You came to in Kylo’s arms just as he was carrying you back to your room. “Are you OK to stand on your own?” he asked you. You nodded. “Yes, you can put me down.”

As soon as your feet touched the floor he walked over to the window, taking his helmet off and throwing it on the floor. His hands once again clenched in fists by his side, the tension he felt was radiating off of him in waves.

“What happened back there?” you said.

He kept staring out the window and beyond the stars. “We had several officers defect and kill nearly a dozen First Order personnel on board. The traitors stole one of our ships. They had classified information, no doubt now in the hands of the Resistance. We had to put the Finalizer on lockdown in case there were any more defectors of which we weren’t aware.”

“OK, but I was asking about what happened in that room. Why did you kill that man?” You were clearly angry. Gyda hinted at Kylo’s ruthlessness before, but you never witnessed any of that until today.

“He hurt you,” Kylo said. He turned to look at you.

“He helped me!” you shouted. “He led me to safety. He was just doing what you told him to do! You didn’t have to take his life.”

Kylo turned away from you again and looked out the window. “You have nothing to say for yourself?” No response.

You walked up to him and slapped him in the face as hard as you could. He stared at you blankly. He indicated no remorse about the killing of his Storm Trooper and showed no obvious sign of pain from your slap. “You’re a monster,” you shouted, your eyes filling with tears. “You’re a monster, and I’m stuck with you!” You put your hands to his chest and shoved him as hard as he could.

He grabbed you by the neck with one hand, lifted you up off your feet and walked toward the bed, slamming you down on your back. You put your hands to your neck and rubbed away the remnants of his grip, coughing to release air back into your airways. He climbed on top of you on the bed, his face only centimeters away from yours. His teeth were clenched, his eyes showed an anger you’ve never seen before. You were scared, and as much of a stranger as he was to you, he was even more of a stranger now.

“Don’t ….ever …. Do that again,” he said.


	10. Apologies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makeup sex is always the best.

You cried yourself to sleep that night. The loud, hyperventilating kind of crying, and there had been no one to hear you. After Kylo put his hands on you, he stormed out of his quarters. And he didn’t come back.

You wondered how someone could be so hot and so cold in the same breath. Why did he snap so suddenly? Who did you marry exactly? You decided to find some answers on your own. It would be at least another hour before Gyda would arrive, so you requested some breakfast be brought to your quarters while you browsed around on the datapad. And boy, did you learn a lot in that hour.

You read about the First Order and its hierarchy and about Kylo’s Force abilities, and specifically the Dark Side. You read about Kylo’s lineage … his parents … his uncle … and his grandfather. You discovered Kylo was no stranger to taking lives, many lives in fact. And worst of all, you learned that his nickname was the Jedi Killer.

It couldn’t be possible. There was no way your husband was this man. The same man who took your hand in his and kissed you gently was surely not capable of all of this violence. But given his behavior last night and Gyda’s subtle warning about his tantrums, you were starting to paint a picture. You didn’t know whether or not to fear him. He told you several times you had nothing to be afraid of and that he’d never hurt you. But clearly, after last night’s events, he had lied. 

Gyda still hadn’t come to your quarters, so you decided to shower off the negativity from last night before she arrived. You were poking around in your closet for something to wear when you heard the blast doors open.

“In here Gyda,” you called from the closet. “Gyda I need to talk to you about some things I read about the First Order and Kylo.”

“What about him?” 

That wasn’t Gyda’s voice. It was Kylo. Shit!

You squeezed your eyes shut and sucked in air through your teeth. Shit! Shit! Shit! You stayed in the closet. Maybe, just maybe, the universe would take pity on you and let you just sink into the floor and disappear.

“Are you going to talk to me or just stand in there all day?” Kylo said. He sounded defeated; not angry or upset.

You walked out of the closet slowly. Everything seemed different now. You no longer viewed him as someone warm and tender. You saw him as a killer … a killer who had no problem scaring his wife and putting his hands on her. You stood in the doorway, clenching your towel tightly.

He took a seat on the edge of the bed, his helmet already on the floor by his feet. “I came here to apologize.” He wasn’t looking you in the eyes. He seemed embarrassed, ashamed.

He let out a deep sigh when you said nothing. “The last thing I want is for you to be afraid of me. Please don’t be afraid of me.” He turned to look at you. That’s when you saw it … a pain you couldn’t put your finger on. Remorse. Sadness. Guilt. Regret. If a look could show you all of those things, it was the way he was looking at you right then.

“A lot of people fear me. I just want to have one person who doesn’t. I wanted it to be you.” He put his elbows on his knees and leaned forward, looking out the glass window into the endless space. Kylo didn’t look like he had these types of conversations all that much.

“Please tell me I didn’t ruin everything last night. I’d do anything to take it back.” He hung his head down. Was he crying? You weren’t sure. His hair was covering his face. He was looking at the floor still, leaning forward and shoulders still slumped.

“Please tell me you forgive me,” he said. He was begging.

You walked over to him gingerly and sat on the bed next to him. You took your hand and swept his hair out of his face and behind his ear so you could see him. He turned to look at you, his eyes red and filled with tears, but none that had fallen down his cheeks. A true master of holding in all of his pain.

“Do you mean all of this?” you asked him. “That you never wanted any of this to happen...that you’re sorry. Or are you saying what you think I want to hear?”

He shook his head and looked at you. “I’m saying what I want to say.” He paused, his eyes still red. “I’m asking for your forgiveness. Don’t give me another reason to hate myself.”

“Don’t talk like that,” you scolded him. “I hope I don’t regret this, but I forgive you.”

And you really did. Eyes are the windows of the soul, your mother would always say. You could tell so much about a person by the way they looked at you. You saw a lot of pain in Kylo’s eyes. Pain and sorrow and anger. But you didn’t see evil. It would be a long and hard road, but in time, you had hoped you could turn his pain and darkness into love and light.

“I’m sorry I called you a monster,” you whispered. “I was overwhelmed. I’ve never experienced so many emotions in such a short amount of time.”

He brought his face up to yours and kissed you. He was back to being gentle Kylo again, back to being the man that you wouldn’t ever imagine being capable of choking you or causing you harm in any way. Kylo went to reach for the top of your towel right when the blast doors opened. In walked Gyda holding a fresh pair of bedsheets. She stopped on a dime when she saw you were both sitting on the edge of the bed and you were still in your towel.

“Ohh ... my apologies Commander! I can come back!” She turned to leave.

“Gyda, give us 10 more minutes.” Kylo said. He held up both of his hands to emphasize the number 10. You’ve come to discover that Gyda could be hard of hearing sometimes, and you were sure Kylo was aware of that as well.

“Yes Commander,” she said with a warm smile, and with that, she exited the room.

“Why 10 minutes?” you asked.

“Because I can be quick if I have to,” he said with a smirk. Kylo took off the top off his outer robe and his belt and threw them on the floor. He undid his pants, pulled them down to his knees and stood up ... all of this in less than 5 seconds, or so it seemed. He was hard, his cock standing at attention, and it made you wonder how long it had been that way.

He pulled off your towel, grabbed you behind your thighs, lifted you up and directed you to wrap your legs around his waist. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he walked toward the wall and pressed your back against it. He dipped one of his fingers in your pussy while holding you up. “You work just as fast as I do, Princess,” he said, his finger glistening in your arousal before sucking off your juices.

He aligned his length to your entrance and pushed himself inside of you to the hilt. You both breathed in loudly. It felt so deep like this. Almost too deep! He wasn’t gentle the first few strokes. In fact, he pounded into you relentlessly with the sole purpose of coming hard and coming quickly. You were bouncing up and down on his cock, trying to angle yourself so that your clit rubbed up against him. Your tits were bouncing in his face while you occasionally felt him grazing his tongue over your hardened nipples.

You gyrated your hips in a circular motion so you could feel the girth of his cock at every angle of your pussy. And that’s what put you over the edge. You came fast and violently, shifting your hips around his cock, willing him to give you his all. And he did. He rammed into you forcefully, squirting his seed deep inside you over and over again, his face and hair buried in your neck, his grunts and moans loud and uncontrolled. No doubt he was making up for not fucking you last night. 

He was still inside of you when you leaned down to kiss him. “We literally have one minute to shower,” he said with a smile, his lips touching yours.


	11. Left Behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Princess has to get accustomed to a whole lot of changes.

It was obvious Kylo wasn’t going to be eating dinner with you tonight, so you had dined with Gyda and enjoyed some girl talk. It felt good to have someone you could trust and confide in so far away from your home planet. You were starting to wonder if Kylo would ever take you back there for a visit the next time the First Order received their mining orders.

The blast doors opened and in walked one of the Storm Troopers. “Miss, the Commander has requested to see the both of you in the North Hangar.”

You looked at Gyda and she seemed just as confused as you. “Sure. Lead the way.” You hadn’t been to a Hangar yet in your few exploits of The Finalizer, so you were excited to see a new part of the ship. However, you had no idea why Kylo would want to see you there.

It was about a 15 minute walk and several levels below your quarters, but you finally reached the massive Hangar. It contained well over 100 ships. Front and center in the Hangar you spotted that same black ship that landed outside your palace walls the night you were told you’d be marrying Kylo. You looked around the sea of white Storm Troopers and grey First Order personnel uniforms. People seemed to be moving quickly, frantically, and you noticed several ships departing from the hangar. You quickly spotted Kylo making his approach toward you. He was in his full uniform and helmet.

“Come with me,” he said, taking you by your elbow as he walked. You were heading toward the black ship. “Is that your ship?” you asked.

“Quickly,” he said, ignoring your question. He led you up the ramp and onto the ship where the two of you were alone. Once you were both on board, he took off his helmet. “I don’t have a lot of time, so just try to listen and not ask a lot of questions, OK?” he said, a sense of urgency in his voice.

“What is it?” you asked. “What’s wrong?” Something definitely wasn’t right.

“There’s going to be a Resistance attack soon, I can feel it. And I need to get you off this ship … right now,” he said.

“Where am I going? What about you?” you said.

“Too many questions, Princess,” Kylo said. “You and Gyda are going to Starkiller Base. You’ll be safe there.”

You shook your head. “No.” You put your hands up to his chest. “You’re not coming.” It wasn’t a question. You just knew he wasn’t going to be with you.

“I can’t go with you,” he said with a look of regret.

Your eyes were watering, and a tear fell down your cheek. “How long?” you asked.

“You’re not going to like my answer, Princess. Do I still have to answer it?” he said.

“Just answer me, please,” you said. “How long?”

“The answer is I don’t know.”

That was probably the worst answer he could give you. Yes, you would still have Gyda, but she wouldn’t be the one holding you at night. There was something about Kylo that made you feel secure and safe -- like he’d do anything to protect you. And you were going to be without that feeling for a very long time, and in a strange place no less.

You stared at him, tears slowly rolling down your cheeks. You were fighting hard to be strong and not completely break down in front of him. You would save that for later -- much later. His gloved hand wiped away your tears.

“I have to go,” he said. “I’ll come back for you.” He kissed you, both hands on your cheeks as your hands held on to his wrists. He picked up his helmet and put it back on and left and never looked back at you. 

Shortly after you were joined by Gyda, two pilots, someone you had just met named Lieutenant Mitaka, and your security team. The pilots informed you it wouldn’t be long before you reached Starkiller Base. In fact, you were able to see it from The Finalizer. Lieutenant Mitaka called Starkiller Base a mobile ice planet. Well, if you wanted to look on the bright side, it would be your first time seeing snow.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been eight weeks since you first landed on Starkiller Base. Eight weeks since you’d last seen Kylo or even heard from him. Eight weeks since you’d been stuck on a planet covered in snow, freezing cold, and misery. What was initially the coolest discovery of your life quickly became something you despised. There had been cool nights in Egypt, but nothing like Starkiller Base. You and Gyda had limited the amount of time you spent outside, only going out when you felt you needed fresh air away from the inside of the dark and dreary confines of the base.

General Hux had been of no help to you the last few weeks. Whenever you had asked him for the whereabouts of your husband, he would cite that the information was classified. He seemed to take pleasure in your agony. He had also set some hard limits on the base. You weren’t able to roam around Starkiller Base as freely as you were able to on The Finalizer. Without Kylo around, the General seemed to exert more power over the First Order Storm Troopers and personnel, and his rules seemed to trump Kylo’s rules so long as he remained far away.

If it weren’t for Gyda, you would have been absolutely lost. She was everything at this point in your life short of a lover -- a mother, a best friend, and a confident. You had lost count as to how many nights you ended up crying into her sweater and hearing her assure you that Kylo would be back for you as soon as he was able.

Today had been particularly uneventful. You had decided to go back to the command center and ask Hux if there was any new information about Kylo. It had been a few days, and you didn’t want to ruin your record of hounding him in hopes he’d eventually give in. You followed your security team to the command center, noticing Hux right away, arms behind his back and speaking to a woman who was pointing to a map on her monitor. He noticed you approaching and grimaced.

“You foolish girl,” he said, blatantly annoyed at your presence but he somehow still managed to find a way to stare at your tits more than your face. “We’re at war, and you dare waste my time for your selfish gain.”

“If I’m not mistaken, General, my husband has a huge part in this war, and you should be just as concerned about his whereabouts as I,” you challenged him.

“I’m not concerned -- do you not think I know where he is? We communicate back and forth daily. I’m sorry he doesn’t seem to bother calling on you, although if I were married to you, talking to you would be one of the last things I’d want to do with you,” he said with an obnoxious smirk. “I can think of several things I’d want to do first.”

What a vile, disgusting, arrogant pig! You were so heated at this exchange -- your breathing was shallow and it was suddenly very warm, but you decided to be the bigger person. “General, save your bucket list for a day when you don’t have a war to manage.”

\-----------------------------------------

You woke up in unfamiliar surroundings with Gyda by your side, two Storm Troopers by the wall and General Hux speaking with someone in a white coat at the foot of a strange bed. You tried to sit up and get a better view of where you were.

“Lay back down, dear,” Gyda said, pressing your shoulders back to the bed. “You’re in the Med Bay, and you’re going to be fine.”

“Why am I here? How long have I been here?” you asked, on high alert. Hux was still speaking to the woman you now realized was a doctor and was now looking at you.

“You’ve been here for about 30 minutes dear. You fainted. I think you’re letting your stress get the best of you, dear. Please just lay down and rest.”

You looked down at your arm and noticed some gauze and a small bandage over it. Gyda followed your gaze. “They ran a few tests to make sure it wasn’t part of a bigger problem, dear.” She smiled warmly and patted your arm.

“I need everyone to leave the room now,” Hux said loudly. He looked at your security. “Everyone.”

“Don’t leave me alone with him, Gyda,” you pleaded.

“It’s going to be okay, dear,” Gyda whispered in your ear before she left, giving you a look of sympathy.

You sat up on your bed, not feeling at all comfortable laying down when you were alone in a room with Hux. He sat down next to you, where Gyda was sitting just a moment ago.

“Well it seems you weren’t the only thing The Commander left behind on Starkiller Base.” 

He was so condescending, you just wanted to slap him. He had a talent for looking incredibly pissed and smiling at the same time with his mouth closed. He reached out to put a gloved hand on your stomach before you swatted it away.

“Congratulations, Princess. You’re with child.”


	12. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Commander returns from a very long assignment.

Pregnant? You put your hand over your belly instinctively, an added barrier to protect your baby from the despicable Hux. You were still adjusting to this new life. How could you expect to be there for a baby when you relied so heavily on Gyda to get you through the day? And not only that, but how was Kylo going to take this? Would he want a child? Would he want to be a father? But the most important question of all was if you wanted your child to grow up in this environment. Would you be forced to raise this child on The Finalizer? On Starkiller Base? This was no place to raise a child. You had seen no children on board the Finalizer or on Starkiller, and for a good reason no doubt. You had so many questions, and none that could be answered right now.

How could you be so stupid. Yes, you knew the risks of getting pregnant, but you didn’t expect this to happen so quickly. Neither did Kylo, you assumed, because he hadn’t bothered to use protection, he always came inside of you, and you weren’t given a birth control implant. You’ve heard so many stories about couples trying to become pregnant for months, years even. You were with Kylo for less than a week. 

“If you were to ask me,” Hux said, interrupting your thoughts, “I would terminate this pregnancy. The galaxy is bad enough with one of him already. Imagine another one,” he snickered.

You glared at him. “It’s a good thing I’m not asking you.”

“I’m not going to tell Ren … I’ll leave that to you, no matter what you decide to do with it,” he stood up and straightened his uniform. “You probably have a few more weeks before your appearance starts to raise questions.”

You were surprised. For sure you thought Hux would relish in the fact that he has the power to ruin your secret and tell Kylo first. You didn’t want to say it, but you did. “Thank you, General.”

His humanity didn’t last long. Were you really surprised?

“But do understand that Ren’s priority is the First Order and will always be the First Order. Not you and certainly not this child.”

Ouch. You didn’t want to believe what he was saying, but you had no idea how deep Kylo’s loyalties were to the First Order, especially if he was willing to kill for the cause. But terminating your pregnancy wasn’t an option. Even if Kylo didn’t want this baby or want you anymore, you would raise it alone if you had to. Suddenly the room felt small and confined, and all you wanted to do was go back to your quarters.

“Is that all General?” you said.

If looks could kill, you would be dead in the Med Bay bed. When he finally left the room, you let out a huge sigh. “I can do this,” you said out loud to yourself. Maybe if you said that enough times, you’d start to believe it.

\-----------------------------------------

It had been 2 weeks since you were made aware of your pregnancy, and 10 weeks since you had last seen and heard from Kylo. You had tried so hard to keep your secret from Gyda -- you just weren’t ready to talk about it. But your morning sickness didn’t get past her watchful eyes. You had regretted not telling her sooner because Gyda had a remedy for everything. To help with your nausea, she had been forcing you to eat several small meals per day and making sure you were drinking more than your fair share of water. She made sure you took a nap every day and showed you helpful meditation techniques to reduce your stress and anxiety. Gyda was surely a jack of all trades.

You spent each morning and evening scrutinizing your stomach in the mirror for any changes. There was nothing yet, but you and Gyda estimated you would have a few more weeks before you started showing. You were taken to the Med Bay once a week, per the General’s orders, for a checkup. You had no idea why he even cared to do this for you, especially since he had been so cruel to you in the past and even recommended you terminate your pregnancy. It was possible he was doing this for selfish reasons. It must have been obvious to Hux now that you were going to keep your baby. If something were to ever happen to the baby, and Kylo found out that Hux didn’t do anything in his power to help you, he’d surely suffer Kylo’s wrath. 

You still thought of Kylo almost every minute of the day. You wondered when Kylo would come back to you, and if he would even be there for the birth of your baby. And just in case he came back soon, you practiced masking your thoughts so Kylo wouldn’t be able to tell you were pregnant until you told him yourself. You felt like things were going successfully, but until you actually saw him in the flesh again, you wouldn’t know for sure.

You had spent this particular morning in the First Order’s library sitting in your favorite spot. It gave you a perfect view of the snowy landscape and horizon over the mountains, and it let just the right amount of sunlight through the window so you could warm yourself in its beam. You were enjoying the added warmth when you saw it … Kylo’s Command Shuttle, surrounded by nearly a dozen TIE Fighters, making its descent to Starkiller. 

You jumped up and told your security to take you to the main Hangar. You practically ran down the corridors until you got there, but you were too late. The ramp to his ship was already down, and it didn’t look like anyone else was exiting. You walked down to his ship anyway in case there was a small chance he was lingering inside. He wasn’t. Instead, you were greeted by one of the pilots running maintenance checks. He had a baby face and looked way too young to be piloting Kylo’s Command Shuttle.

“If you’re looking for the Commander, he walked himself to the Med Bay,” he said, rummaging through switches.

“Is he hurt?” 

“Keywords were ‘walked himself to the Med Bay.’ He’ll be fine.” It looked like he was talking to a wall, but he was reading some codes off one of the monitors besides the pilot seat.

“Yeah … thanks,” you said and rolled your eyes. 

Fortunately, the Med Bay wasn’t that far from the Hangar … just a few levels up. A left and a right turn later you arrived at your destination and saw him through the glass window. He was sitting on a doctor’s stool in just his pants and boots. All of his other items of clothing, including his helmet, were piled on the medical bed. Your security team was no doubt seeing Kylo’s face for the first time. Even through their masks you could tell they were mesmerized at what they were seeing through the glass window.

The top of Kylo’s hair had been braided into corn rows, most likely to keep his hair out of his eyes. He had bandages on his left shoulder and right forearm, with blood seeping through both of them. He looked bored as the nurses went to work on him, removing his bandages and dabbing them clean with some type of ointment before covering them up with a bacta patch. Despite his obvious wounds, Kylo looked fine and healthy. He wasn’t skinny or disheveled, his clothes didn’t appear tattered or dirty, and he didn’t look to be in a tremendous amount of pain. 

You straightened your hair and smoothed out your dress -- a white, sleeveless and strapless maxi dress with a thigh high slit. You knocked gently on the glass window and he looked up at you. You pressed your palm against the glass and smiled. He placed his hand over his heart and smiled back. It was a look that he was definitely happy to see you, but he hadn’t wanted you to see him in this way. Even after 10 weeks of being apart, he didn’t need to do much to give you butterflies.

You mouthed to him through the glass, “Are you OK?”

He put his hand up and motioned for you to come inside. He got up from his stool, the nurses both giving you space, and he held you. “I am now,” he whispered.


	13. One More Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It has been 10 weeks of no sex, and the Commander is hungry.

Kylo wasted no time with you. As soon as you made it back to your quarters, he tossed his helmet and took off his robe and tunic. “It has been too long,” he said as he approached you, reaching his hand up the slit of your dress, dragging it up your thigh and eventually to your sex. “I’ve wanted this so bad every day,” he whispered in your ear, kissing your neck.

He rubbed your clit and slid his finger into your entrance. You moaned softly and breathed deeply, your hands against his chest. His soft lips on your neck and jawline gave you the tingles. “Your pussy is aching for my cock already … you dirty girl,” he whispered.

He lifted your dress over your head and tossed it toward the closet. You kissed each other deeply and passionately as he placed both of his hands on each of your breasts. He ran his thumb back and forth over your hardened nipples before running his tongue across them lightly and blowing on them. He grazed them again with his tongue, releasing each nipple with a pop.

He clumsily took off his boots and pants, clearly his mind was on one thing only. You stared at his rock solid cock in appreciation as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed. “Come here, Angel.” You walked over to him. He stopped you and turned you around when you got closer so your ass was level with his face. You felt him run his hands lightly over your lower back and down to your ass before squeezing both of your cheeks, your ass spreading apart.

“Spread your legs apart and touch your toes,” he whispered. 

You turned your head to the side to try and look at him and smiled gingerly. He was stroking himself slowly, the lust in his eyes unmistakable. “Trust me like you did before,” he said with a sinister grin. You spread your legs about a foot apart and bent over. You were embarrassed about being so overly exposed and in his face but you felt more empowered that you held so much control over his pleasure. From your upside down angle, you saw him starting to pump his cock faster as he stared at your ass and pussy. All you could hear was his heavy breathing and the sound of him pleasuring himself. “Yesssss,” he hissed.

You heard him inhale deeply before you felt his tongue against your pussy. “Oh my God,” you said out loud, immediately losing yourself in a state of pleasure. His tongue on your pussy from this angle felt incredible, and you had an amazing view of him jacking his cock to the taste of your pussy. He played with your pussy with his tongue so well, extending his tongue all the way out to keep grazing over your clit and then shoving his tongue back inside your pussy to gather more of your wetness to spread around your clit and outer lips. Your legs were growing weak, and you didn’t know how much longer you could keep yourself up in this position.

“Kylo I can’t … I’m going to come,” you said breathlessly. He stopped jacking his cock to grab you by your hips and help keep you steady. You kept your eyes on his cock while he dined on your pussy.

“Come on my face, Princess,” he said, extending his tongue again in a steady rhythm on your clit. You pressed your palms firmly on the floor, getting yourself ready to release. “Shiiiiiiit,” you moaned. “Yes, Kylo …. Just like that.” You backed your pussy into his face and started to grind into it while he flicked your clit even faster with his tongue. You rode out your orgasm against his face for as long as possible, your legs shaking and weak. 

He stood up and laid you on the bed, placing himself between your spread thighs.

“I’m pretty sure you’re ready for this cock, Princess,” he leaned over you, still pumping his cock, looking into your eyes hungrily. “Do you want my cock in your pussy?” he asked you in between breaths.

“Please, yes,” you said, writhing underneath him. “I want it.”

“Do you want it bad, Princess?”

“I want it bad,” you begged. He pumped his cock faster. His breathing turning into unsteady pants.

“Take my cock in your hand and put it in your pussy,” he leaned closer to you so you could grab it.

You took his length into your hands and aligned it with your entrance, but not before rubbing it around your wetness and on your clit first. The head of his cock was so warm and felt like silk. You could tell Kylo was aching badly, but that he also liked to be teased. You aligned his tip with your entrance again, but he was impatient this time, shoving his cock into you entirely. You cried out. It had been 10 weeks since he had been inside of you, so it almost felt like you were losing your virginity all over again. Almost. 

“I missed this tight pussy so bad, Angel,” he said, moving in and out of you slowly. “Fuck did I miss this pussy so bad.” His teeth were clenched, beads of sweat were forming on his forehead as he started to go faster.

He lowered his head to yours, not kissing you but just touching tongues with each other. It felt so dirty, so sexual, so needy. He started to slam into you faster and harder. The slapping sound of your bodies was obscenely loud and sexy, and his breathing and vulgarity was pushing you closer to your second orgasm.

“I can’t hold it anymore baby. I’m going to come,” you whimpered. 

“Come with me,” he said. You could tell he loved coming at the same time. Careful to not touch his injured shoulder, your nails dig into his shoulder blades as you started to orgasm. You bucked your hips upward to slam your pussy back onto his cock to take him even deeper, meeting him with every thrust. He cursed loudly, slamming into you forcefully with a loud moan as you felt that familiar warmth of his come shoot inside of you. It was at that moment you remembered you were pregnant, but you quickly changed the thoughts in your head because you weren’t ready to tell him yet.

You lay together with his softening cock inside your pussy for a few minutes before he rolled on to his side. He put his hand on your cheek and looked at you without saying anything. “You’re so beautiful,” he said, his face serious. “Supreme Leader Snoke said you were the most beautiful woman in the galaxy. He’s never wrong.” His hand was still on your cheek and he ran his thumb over your lips. You kissed his thumb.

“That’s a compliment coming from a man who I’m sure has been with many women,” you felt a pang of jealousy as you said that and had slightly wished you didn’t say it at all.

“Shhhhh,” he said.

“How many before me?” you asked. 

He sighed. “You’re not going to like the answer, Princess. Do you still want to know?”

This game again. “I suppose I don’t,” you said. Your mother always said curiosity killed the cat. You might as well heed her advice.

“It’s just us now. That’s all that should matter,” he said, bringing your hand to his lips. “I stayed faithful these last 10 weeks, and it was the easiest thing I ever had to do, because every woman I see can’t ever compare to you. You’ve ruined it for me in a way,” he chuckled.

“Good!” you joked, smiling. 

He placed one of his arms behind his head, clearly in full relaxation mode after your fucking session. “Do you like it here?” his eyes on the ceiling.

“On Starkiller?” you asked. He nodded.

“It’s cold, and I miss seeing water and greenery. And I don’t really like the snow,” you said.

“So no?” he looked at you with a smirk.

You smiled. “I like it better now that you’re here.”

You both lay there in silence for a few minutes before you spoke again.

“I missed you so much,” you said. “Why didn’t you call on me?” You weren’t going to let him off the hook about this one.

“I’m sorry,” he said with obvious guilt. 

“For 10 weeks …,” you said with a frown.

“I know,” he interrupted. “You’re my weakness, Amira.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “I soften up whenever I see you, whenever I’m with you. I can’t let myself get out of my zone when I’m on assignment. I have to stay in the right state of mind in everything I do. You would take me right out of it,” he said.

Right out of the zone of being a killer, you thought sadly.

“I understand,” you said. “The most important thing is that you came back to me.”

“I’d be the biggest fool in the galaxy if I didn’t,” he said.

You leaned over to kiss him.

“Let’s take a shower and can get some dinner,” he said. “But do me a favor real quick?”

“What is it?” you asked.

“Get on all fours for me and stick that beautiful ass and pussy in the air. I’m about to give you this dick one more time.”


	14. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It seems Amira isn't the only one with a secret.

You woke up the next morning to the sound of the blast doors and Hux entering your quarters unabashedly. Kylo’s side of the bed was empty and cold. You held the bed sheet against your chest as tightly as you could, feeling extremely uncomfortable that only a bed sheet separated your naked body from Hux.

“What are you doing here?” you said, sitting up, making sure the bed sheet was glued to your body.

“I’ll give you 15 minutes to shower and get dressed. Then you’re coming with me,” he said, looking around your quarters.

“Coming with you where?” you asked.

“14 minutes,” Hux said, taking a seat by the window.

“Are you going to watch me get ready?” You were annoyed.

“13 minutes.”

“Unbelievable!” You said it out loud more for yourself than for him. Rolling your eyes and groaning loudly, you made the most unglamorous makeshift dress out of your bedsheet and walked in front of Hux to the bathroom to shower. 

\--------------------------

Hux walked incredibly fast, not giving you the courtesy of allowing you to keep up. You were practically doing a mini jog just to keep the back of him in view, and that’s not easy to do in heels. You dressed yourself in a black flowy maxi dress to try and prevent yourself from being eye-raped by Hux this time around. You were grateful for that choice because your breasts were bouncing wildly with how fast you were walking and because Kylo hadn’t allowed you to wear undergarments.

You still didn’t have the slightest idea where Hux was taking you.

“Can you please slow down?” All you could hear was the loud sound of your heels tapping on the hard floor.

“No,” was all he said, and he kept walking.

“Where are we going?” you asked him. “Does Kylo know about this?”

“Shut up about Ren for now,” he said, as the both of you approached two large double doors guarded by several Troopers. Hux opened the doors. “Keep up,” he said.

You walked inside a very large, desolate room and followed Hux to a wide set of stairs, both of you stopping at the base. You looked at Hux confused. He took you to an empty room? Something flickered in front of you, then came into sharper focus. It was a large hologram of someone. He was definitely alien, with a long pale face that was disfigured and covered in several scars. He was frightening.

“Supreme Leader I have the Princess,” Hux said, looking up at the large hologram. 

“Leave us,” he said, not taking his eyes off of you.

Hux looked a combination of surprised and offended, and turned to leave without saying a word to either of you. The Supreme Leader waited for Hux to close the doors behind him before he continued to speak.

“So you’re the one who carries the heir of Kylo Ren,” Snoke said. 

You put your hand over your stomach and looked down. You’ve read and heard so much about Supreme Leader Snoke. There was no point in being dishonest.

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” you said.

“Why do you keep it a secret?” he asked.

“I … I don’t know.”

“Kylo Ren will need an heir to carry on the Skywalker bloodline,” Snoke said. “I need your assurance that no harm will come to this child.”

“I’d never cause my baby harm, Supreme Leader,” you insisted.

“Good,” he said, and his hologram faded. 

“Not a fan of Goodbyes, I see,” you said out loud to yourself.

You walked to the doors to meet Hux. You were about to speak but he interrupted you. “You don’t need to say a word … I was listening.” And with that, Hux walked off.

You sighed. You had no choice but to tell Kylo tonight after dinner, or maybe after sex when he’d be the most relaxed. He would be hurt to hear it from Snoke or Hux before you.

It felt strange to walk back to your quarters alone. You hadn’t ever been outside of your quarters on The Finalizer or on Starkiller without the 6 Troopers flanking you. But Hux had dismissed them when he had awoken you earlier. You inputted the code to the blast doors and entered your quarters. Kylo was standing in the room in his outfit without his mask. He looked absolutely livid.

“Where’s your security?” he barked.

“Kylo I …” you started to speak, but he interrupted you.

“Do you take me for a fool, Princess?” Kylo said, his usually tall frame appeared even larger as you cowered in fear. Kylo was seething.

“Where were you just now? And don’t lie,” he demanded.

“I was with Hux,” you said. 

He backhanded you across the face with his gloved hand. You gasped and held your hand to your cheek to take away the sting, avoiding his gaze. Your eyes began to water immediately.

“FUCK!” he yelled, kicking the chair closest to him. He ignited his lightsaber, and started slamming it back in forth against the paneling of the wall. You had no idea who the man was before you. He kept this up for about a minute before deactivating his lightsaber and standing before you again.

He put his hand over your hand that was covering your cheek and forced you to look at him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that.” He moved your hand away from your cheek and starting kissing it lightly.

“Why were you with Hux?” he asked, his rage was fading, consumed by guilt and the fear that you had done something to betray him. “And please don’t lie to me.”

“It’s not what you think, Kylo. Please.” You begged.

“Please just answer the question,” he said.

“He took me to see Snoke,” you said. “Snoke had wanted to see me.”

Kylo’s brows furrowed, narrowing his gaze toward you.

He reached out his gloved hand in front of him, a look of concentration taking over his face. Suddenly you had a sharp pain in your head. It felt like a million nails were being hammered into your skull. It last for about 15 seconds before it stopped when he dropped his hand.

Kylo’s face instantly changed from confusion to surprise, and maybe a little fear. His eyes wide, he glared at your belly, his mouth slightly open, his breathing becoming erratic. You knew he invaded your mind with The Force just then and found out about your little secret.

“Kylo…” you said, hugging yourself instinctively for protection.

“Don’t,” he said, backing away from you.

You narrowed your gaze at him, trying to read him, but you couldn’t. Kylo was unpredictable when he was in one of his dark moods.

He stared at your belly, and then looked at you. His eyes once again watery and red, but he wouldn’t allow a tear to fall. “I should have been more careful. I’m sorry. I don’t deserve you or this child.”

“Snoke feels otherwise,” you said, walking toward him, but he took another step back from you, eyeing you warily.

You looked deep into his eyes. “You promised me I had nothing to be afraid of, but I’m afraid.” You continued, “You promised me I could trust you, and I did. You promised me you would never hurt me, but right now everything hurts.” Tears were silently falling down your cheeks. “I can’t keep playing this game with you,” you said.

Kylo stood there, saying nothing, but his expression told a story of agony.

“Your silence speaks louder than words,” you said, wiping tears away with the back of your hands. 

Kylo said nothing for a few moments, then spoke.

“I’ll ready my Command Shuttle to take you back to Egypt tonight,” Kylo said. “The best place for you to be is far away from me.”

Your heart had shattered into a million pieces just then. You took off your ring and threw it at him. “I fucking hate you!” you screamed, pounding your fists into his chest. He just stood there, letting you hit him, knowing he deserved all of what you were giving him. “I wish I never met you! I don’t ever want to see your face again!” You sobbed into your hands.

You heard the blast doors open and close. When you looked up, you realized you were once again in your quarters alone.

\------------------------------------

**Kylo**

“It has been done, Supreme Leader,” you said, standing before the giant hologram.

“You’ve done well, Kylo Ren. I sense this has been one of your hardest tests yet,” Snoke said.

“Yes,” you said, too numb to expand on your feelings. You were thankful your mask was on so Snoke couldn’t see your agony. 

The truth was you had known Amira was pregnant from the very second you saw her upon your return to Starkiller. The baby inside of her was no doubt Force sensitive … you had felt the connection inside of her as you embraced in the Med Bay. You were looking forward to the moment she would feel comfortable enough to share the news with you, but that was before you had met with Supreme Leader Snoke.

The Supreme Leader sensed that it would only be a matter of time before news of Amira’s pregnancy would spread to the Resistance. If that were to happen, surely the Resistance would stop at nothing to take both Amira and the baby in an effort to prevent a Skywalker heir from falling into the wrong hands.

To ensure Amira and your child’s safety and prevent them from being taken, Snoke instructed that Amira be removed from any and all First Order locations and be sent back to her home planet. Egypt would be the last place the Resistance would look because it would have been too obvious.

The hard part was going to be getting Amira to agree with you, so you had to give her no choice. You had to make her believe you didn’t want her with you so she would leave willingly. 

Your fight with her pained you more than you imagined. Supreme Leader sensed it as well, but you refused to let it make you weak. When you invaded her mind in your quarters, she was led to believe you had just discovered her pregnancy. But that wasn’t the case. You were searching to see if she loved you. And she did. And even though you didn’t know much about love, you were sure that it felt like this.


	15. Long Time, No See

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo makes a visit to Egypt.

Your return was bittersweet. You were grateful to be home, but everything was forever changed. Rather than being thankful for your own bed, your own room, familiar surroundings and family, and being able to go back to speaking your primarily language, you constantly thought about your time with Kylo. You cried every day for weeks. And even when you became numb to your tears, your heart still ached, replaying over and over again the final moments he utterly dismissed you and sent you back home. He didn’t even ride back with you on the Command Shuttle.

You had been back for 6 weeks, and your 4-month pregnant belly was just starting to show a slight bump … the only thing you had left of Kylo. You wondered if he ever thought about you, but you had a feeling he didn’t. It was a huge galaxy, and you were only around for a short fragment of time. No doubt he had moved on to other capable women who could fulfill his needs. It hurt so badly to think about Kylo pleasing another woman, but you forced yourself to think these thoughts in an effort to numb the pain.

The First Order had been back twice for mining work in the last few weeks. You would watch the ships come in from your bedroom balcony with the hopes of maybe seeing Kylo’s Command Shuttle, but it never came. Until today.

When his ship landed, you saw him exit down the ramp, dressed in his robes, accompanied by Hux and what looked to be several other officers and Storm Troopers. You bolted out of your room toward the main entrance of the palace to await their arrival. You didn’t want to be seen, so you hid behind a stone pillar. You couldn’t see anything, but at least you could hear.

“General Hux, Commander Ren, to what do we owe the pleasure?” you heard your father say.

“We are here to discuss a few amendments to our Treaty,” Hux said. “We hope this visit doesn’t come as an inconvenience to you -- I know it was unannounced.”

“Of course. My guards will show you to your quarters. You’re free to roam the palace during this time, and we can resume Treaty discussions after our meal tonight,” your father said.

You peaked around the pillar and saw your father walking away, trailed by several palace guards. You saw Hux’s orange hair, Lieutenant Mitaka and other officers you hadn’t seen before following behind, but Kylo wasn’t with them. Where the hell did he go?

You watched your father and his entourage until you couldn’t see them anymore and turned to head back to your room. But you ended up slamming into a solid wall of black. Kylo.

He put his hands on your shoulders and steadied you. “You need to be more careful,” he said through the modulator, annoyed, gesturing toward your budding baby bump. He had his helmet on, but you knew he was looking at your belly.

You pushed him away as hard as you could, but he barely moved. “Don’t you dare touch me. Get away from me.” You dreamt of this moment for the last few weeks, but now that it was finally here, you were overwhelmed. All your feelings of hurt and anger came back to you, completely trumping all of your feelings of missing him so badly.

You walked back to your room with Kylo’s footsteps trailing behind you. “Don’t follow me,” you yelled out, walking faster. He reached out and grabbed your arm. “Wait,” he said. He wasn’t going to let go of you. You stopped, closing your eyes and letting out a deep breath to calm yourself and not cry.

“Say what you have to say and be done with it,” you said.

He didn’t come closer to you, but rather just stared. “I just wanted to look at you again.” He took off his helmet slowly. Oh how you missed those beautiful brown, sad eyes. You missed kissing his soft lips. You missed when he held you tightly and you buried your face into his chest. You missed the smell of his hair and running your hand through it. You missed the way he fucked you. You missed everything.

Your watering eyes couldn’t contain themselves, and a single tear fell slowly down your cheek, followed by another.

“I loved you,” you whispered. “Why?” This question applied to so many things. Why did he want to look at you again? Why did he let you go? Why did he break your heart? Why did he come back? Why is he standing before you right now, ripping your heart to pieces all over again.

“Because I love you, too” he said.

You blinked a few times, causing a few more tears to run down your cheeks. You closed your eyes and shook your head. What he said made no sense.

“I’ve never loved anyone, but I know I love you,” he continued. 

You narrowed your eyes at him. “I don’t think you do, Kylo. You don’t hurt people you love. That’s not how love works.”

“I was protecting you. The both of you.” He looked at your belly again.

“How so? Leaving me without a husband and our baby without a father?” You were starting to raise your voice.

“Protecting you from the Resistance,” he said, taking a step closer to you. “You’re carrying my child, which makes you an extremely valuable target, and we needed to keep you hidden.”

The wheels in your head were spinning. Sending you away was part of a more intricate plan, a plan you were obviously not a part of.

“You aren’t here to amend the Treaty, are you?” you asked. 

“I just needed to see you, Princess,” he said. “I needed to see you so bad.”

You closed your eyes. You missed when he called you that.

“You look so beautiful carrying my child,” he said, staring at your stomach. “You’re more beautiful than what I have been picturing in my head every minute of every day since you went away.”

You realized you weren’t the only one who had been hurting these last few weeks.

“Ren!” You jumped. Hux was approaching the both of you, glaring at Kylo. He looked at your small baby bump and then back at Kylo. “We have two possible Resistance drones spotted in Luxor, near the Temples of Karnak,” he said. Kylo nodded to Hux and then turned to you. “We’re not done yet,” he said, before putting his mask back on and walking quickly to wherever Hux had come from. 

You watched the both of them walk away together. You’ve learned some interesting revelations in the last few minutes, and you had no idea where that left you. 

You placed your hands over your baby bump. “What do we do, Little One?” you said out loud.

\------------------------------------------------

You dined with your father and mother that night, along with Hux, Mitaka and the two other officers -- Resdox and Stridan, you later learned. Kylo wasn’t there. According to Hux, Kylo had been sent to Karnak with one of the divisions to investigate the Resistance drones. 

When you returned to your room that night, you requested that Nura draw you a bath, anything to help you relax and calm your anxiety levels and stress. It worked, but you still had a heavy heart. You had no idea what the future held for you, Kylo and your baby. You lay in your bed that night completely naked under the sheets, a breeze blowing around your room. It felt wonderful against your face and arms, and you could feel the air through the fabric. You finally gave in to a gentle slumber.

\------------------------------------------------------------

You awoke to a hand caressing your cheek. Kylo lay in bed next to you wearing nothing but his trousers. You were on your back, looking onto his face, in a sleepy daze.

“Kylo..” you began to speak.

“Shhhh,” he said. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

He lowered the sheet to expose your naked body, appreciating your form and small bump.

His hand hovered over your stomach but didn’t touch. “Can I..?”

“Yes,” you whispered. He put his hand on your stomach and closed his eyes, staying silent for a few moments. He opened them again and looked at you. “Thank you,” he said softly. And then he kissed you. It was a soft and gentle kiss, his hand in your hair to pull you in closer. Oh, how you missed his touch. He broke the kiss and ran his thumb down your lips.

“I thought about this every night when I lay in bed without you,” he whispered. “I wished for it. Now here you are,” he kissed you again, bringing his lips down to your chin and neck, down your collarbone and to your breasts. He took your nipple in his mouth while holding underneath your breast, squeezing it lightly. Your breasts had gotten more sensitive and larger during these beginning stages of your pregnancy, and no doubt Kylo took notice. He moved to the other side, sucking on your nipple and gently tugging at it with his teeth. He continued to make his way down your stomach, trailing it with light kisses, before he placed his palms on your inner thighs and spread your legs open.

You felt his finger on your clit and slide all the way down to your entrance before putting his finger inside of you. He dove into your mound, caressing your clit with his tongue and fingering you to the same rhythm of his tongue. You had been so horny these early stages of your pregnancy, so overly sensitive. Everything Kylo was doing to your body was intensified. You were going to come soon. Kylo felt it in the way you started rocking your hips to meet his tongue and finger. He inserted a second finger into your pussy and that’s what pushed you over the edge. You squeezed your legs together to lock him in place, squirming and writhing underneath him, as he let you ride out your orgasm.

When you finished coming, Kylo stood up and removed his pants, his length hard and waiting. He climbed back onto the bed, hovering over you. “I missed the taste of your pussy, Princess,” he whispered. He kissed you, and you tasted yourself on his lips and tongue.

“I want to taste you, too,” you whispered. You felt him palm his cock on top of you. “I’ll give you anything you want, Angel,” he said. You positioned yourself to sit at the edge of the bed, and he stood up in front of you, holding his cock in front of your face. He removed his hand, allowing you to move closer. Wrapping your fingers at the base of his cock, you took his length in your mouth, running your tongue on his head and along its base.

He sucked in air through his teeth and blew it out in a hiss. “Damn … good girl,” he whispered huskily. “You have no idea how good you look with my cock in your mouth, Princess.”

You attempted to take his cock as deep into your mouth as you could as he began to move his hips to push his cock deeper inside of your mouth, his hand entangled in your hair at the back of your head, gently pushing it toward him. You choked, making him pull out of your mouth completely. “I’m sorry, Angel,” he said. “I got a little greedy.”

His cock was coated in your saliva, and you swirled your tongue around the head of his dick and watched it twitch with need. You deepthroated him a few more times before he pulled himself out of your mouth again and climbed back on the bed. Hovering over you, he spread your legs apart with his knees and placed the tip of his cock at your entrance. He looked in your eyes and kissed you, sliding himself inside you balls deep. You wrapped your arms around him, losing yourself in his kiss and on his cock. He took his time with you, moving in and out slowly and steadily, like he wanted to preserve this moment for as long as possible. 

You were focused on nothing but the sensations all around you. His girth stretching and filling your pussy, his abs and pelvic area making contact with your mound and small baby bump, your nipples and swollen breasts brushing against his chest, his hair falling around your face as he kissed you, his hot breath on your neck, his slippery body coated in sweat as he pleasured your pussy, the sound of both of your slow and steady breaths as your bodies moved together in the dark, the feel of his muscled arms and chest and back on top of you.

Instinctively, he knew you were ready to come. “Come on my cock, Angel,” he whispered in your ear. “Come all over this cock.” He picked up his pace, pounding into you more aggressively. He was off his elbows now, his palms on either side of your head, careful not to put weight on your stomach.

“I’m coming right now, baby,” you said.

“Yesss,” he hissed, slamming into you even harder. You released, wrapping your legs around his body to push him deeper into you. Your hands squeezing the tops of his shoulders in ecstasy as he began to release himself inside of you. He cock was buried deep inside your pussy to the hilt, but he kept trying to go deeper. You felt his come coating your insides, his cock pulsating inside of you as he released his warmth into your cervix.

He pulled out of you and you instantly felt your shared juices dripping out of your pussy. You turned on your side, both of you now facing each other in the moonlight.

“I love you,” Kylo said.

“I love you, too,” you whispered back, and he smiled. Seeing him smile was a rarity, but it warmed your soul.

You made love with Kylo two more times that night. He had been gentle with you every time, which made you forget everything he had ever done to upset or hurt you. This was the Kylo you loved. This was the Kylo you wanted to be with forever, and the one you wanted to raise your baby.

When you woke up the next morning, he was gone. There was a purple water lily sitting on the pillow next to you as well as a note. You read it out loud. “I’ll come back for you.”

You ran to the window hoping to see his Command Shuttle, but it was gone. You felt a weight on one of your fingers and looked at your left hand. Sometime during the night, Kylo must have slipped your ring back on. You twirled it around your finger and smiled. “Please come back to me,” you whispered to yourself. 

Somewhere across the Galaxy, Kylo was sitting in the seat of his Command Shuttle, eyes closed and deep in meditation. “I will, Princess.”


	16. The Holotape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amira is handed a holotape with some hot and heavy contents. Is Kylo really a man whore, or was this part of a larger set up?

It had been 11 days since you last seen Kylo. You had kept yourself busy by reading up on First Order history and current events and sharpening your conversations in Basic. You commanded the Basic language well, both verbally and in written word, but you wanted to work on your pronunciation. Although Kylo told you he loved your accent, it made you self conscious in conversations with others on Starkiller Base and The Finalizer. Especially with higher ranking officials who seemed to speak so eloquently, like General Hux.

You had been in the palace library the majority of the afternoon when one of your guards approached you with a holotape. Attached to it was a scroll that read, “Time for you to see what your husband has been really up to.” It was written in Basic and not Arabic, which meant it had to come from someone within The First Order, or someone who had no affiliation with Egypt. 

“Where did this come from,” you asked your guard in Arabic.

“A messenger,” he said.

“Who?” you asked.

The guard said it had come from a young boy who said he was paid generously by a woman who gave instructions to deliver the holotape to you and ensure it got delivered in your hands.

“Outside the palace?” you asked.

“Yes, outside the gates, Princess,” he said.

That’s strange, you thought. You’ve received strange gifts from your people quite often, but nothing like this. Especially since your people embraced tradition and rarely had a use for holotapes.

You hightailed it back to your room to play the tape. Judging by the note that it came with, you had a slight feeling that whatever it was on the tape couldn’t be good. 

You sat on the edge of your bed, took a deep breath, and hit play.

The holotape showed a bedroom that you knew very well. It was Kylo’s quarters on The Finalizer; technically, both of your quarters now. The video stayed on the empty bed for about a minute before you saw a figure come into view. A woman with long blonde hair dressed in one of Kylo’s black robes sauntered over to the bed looking at something in the distance, beside the camera. Your gut wrenched -- you had a feeling you knew what was coming next.

The woman dropped her robe, revealing that she was completely naked underneath Kylo’s robes. She was very pale like Kylo, with blue eyes and golden wavy hair .. her features the exact opposite of your long dark hair, brown eyes and tanned skin. Whoever this woman was, she was beautiful. She climbed on top of the bed, giggling, and got on all fours facing the camera. She stayed in this position for a few moments, still looking at something in the distance. You wanted to turn the holotape off but something compelled you to keep watching. 

Shortly thereafter, Kylo came into the camera’s view, wearing black sweats and a white tank top. He was sweaty. You recognized that outfit. He had obviously just finished working out. He stripped off his clothes quickly and climbed onto the bed behind the woman, grabbed her by the hips and slid himself into her. 

You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. It was like you were trapped inside of a nightmare, hoping to wake up at any minute and have this not be real. You wanted to vomit. You wanted to cry. You wanted to scream and throw things. But you just couldn’t take your eyes away from what was happening.

The woman was screaming in ecstasy while Kylo pounded into her. The sounded of him slamming into her was loud and in unison with her moans. A few things stood out to you. You noticed that Kylo was extremely rough with her, grabbing the back of her hair and pulling it back until she looked extremely uncomfortable. Several times he had wrapped his hands around her throat really tight until she gasped for air, and then he’d let go. The vulgarities spewing out of his mouth shocked you. He called this woman all kinds of things … whore, cumdumpster, bitch, cunt. He called her pussy a fuckhole, told her she was there to make his cock come and nothing else, and that she was a good-for-nothing whore who was only good for taking his big cock. 

The woman came multiple times before Kylo did, and when he released he didn’t do it inside of her. He pulled out of her, flipped her on her back and came on her face, all while calling her a cock-hungry whore. “Get the fuck out of my quarters,” he said to her when he finished releasing completely. The woman got dressed quickly, and Kylo got off the bed and walked toward the camera, and then the tape went black.

Just when you think you know Kylo, you really don’t. Was this the kind of thing he was doing to pass his time while you were crying over him for the last few months? Although he never treated you like he treated that woman on the tape, you had to wonder if that was the real Kylo. How many times had he done that to women? Why did he record it? Worst of all, how dare he fuck you if he was doing this behind your back. It was unforgivable. 

You still felt hurt, queasy and nauseous and extremely stupid and embarrassed. You wanted to cry to Nura, to your mother, to anyone who would listen, but you didn’t want to bring this up because you felt like such a fool. How could you think the Commander of the First Order would actually want to be faithful to one woman, especially since he was as horny as he was all the time. Not only that, but he had been away from you for so long. 

Kylo didn’t feel like someone you knew any more. You don’t know how long you were sitting there lost in your thoughts, but his voice interrupted you, causing you to jump and drop the holotape cover on the floor.

“Angel,” Kylo said. He was standing by the door, helmet in hand. The expression on his face looked like he sensed something was wrong. 

“Get … the fuck … out of my room,” you said calmly yet coldly, staring at him with an intense hatred.

“What’s going on, Angel?” he took a few steps toward you, his face in a complete state of confusion.

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM!” you screamed at the top of your lungs, as tears started to fall from your eyes. 

Kylo jumped a little, eyes wide, looking at you like you had gone completely mad.

You started throwing anything you could find around you and hurling it towards him -- a vase, a picture frame, a decorative bowl, a book. He was stopping them all in mid-air before they hit him using The Force, all of the items dropping to the floor at his feet.

He grabbed you by the arms to steady you as you shook uncontrollably. “What has gotten into you?” he asked, still in a state of confusion. His brown eyes were full of concern and worry.

“Get your disgusting, filthy hands off of me you fucking pig,” you screamed, squirming out of his grasp. You slapped him in the face … hard. You remember what happened the last time you did that, but you didn’t care. He grunted as you did so, keeping his cheek turned away from you.

“DAMNIT, AMIRA,” Kylo yelled. “WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO?” He flipped a table and chucked a chair across the room like it was nothing.

“OUT!” you screamed at him. “GET OUT!” You were shrieking, tears falling down your face. 

He stood there, brows furrowed, panic in his eyes. “What did I do?” he whispered softly.

“Oh no, you don’t get to play Victim here,” you said. “GUARDS!” Four of them entered your room, acting as a shield between you and Kylo.

“Get him the fuck out of my room. NOW!” you yelled at your guards.

Kylo looked at you, this time with complete sadness and confusion.  
“Sorry sir, you must leave,” one of the guards said.

Kylo looked up at the ceiling and drew a deep, long breath before walking toward your door.

“Wait,” you called out. He turned around slowly, hoping to be facing a whole new reality.

You handed him the holotape and its infamous note. “I think this belongs to you.” And you slammed your door in his face.


	17. The Breach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn a little about Kylo's sexual history and a massive breach within Amira's palace walls.

**Kylo**

As soon as Amira handed you that holotape, you knew exactly what it was. Not necessarily who it was. You wanted to explain everything to her right there, but you would have only sounded desperate and full of excuses, and she wouldn’t have believed you anyway. Not when she was that angry.

This particular tape was made well before you were married; in fact, you had many of these tapes. Had. You were ashamed to admit it to Amira and had hoped you’d never have to, but you knew you’d have to tell her the truth now. 

Before Amira, you had a habit of recording any girls you brought back to your quarters on The Finalizer. You gave your deviant holotape collection to a droid to destroy right before your marriage, swearing off your bad habits and wanting to welcome a life of commitment. 

You had watched Amira from afar for months before she knew you existed. She had been the most beautiful woman you’d ever seen. Her exotic features were something you weren’t used to seeing quite often, and her conservativeness was appealing to you. You were used to women throwing themselves at you, degrading and making fools of themselves. Amira was a breath of fresh air, a woman who carried herself with grace and class, and who was kind to all of those around her, no matter if they were a handmaiden, guard or a high-ranking member of her father’s kingdom. You knew for certain you wouldn’t ever need to look back on your collection of filthy tapes if you were to have Amira in your bed beside you for the rest of your life.

No, you definitely weren’t proud of your previous behaviors and habits, but you had been single and unhappy and tense around the clock. The only way to get everything out in a healthy way was to lay with women, a recommendation made by the Supreme Leader. But of course, he’d much rather suggest the comforts of women instead of hearing about you destroying a group of data consoles with your lightsaber whenever you lost your temper.

You didn’t realize it until now, but Amira changed you, your temperament -- she brought out something you had never managed to feel before, and it was love. Actual love. For the first time in a long time, you cared about something other than just the cause of the First Order. It had pained you more than anything that she had to see this tape … the old you, and get the completely wrong idea of who you are as a man today. You wished you could make her believe that since the day you married her, you hadn’t even touched another woman. The truth was, no woman could hold a candle to her.

You decided to explain to her in the morning when she had some time to calm down. There was obviously no reasoning with her tonight. She was too hurt and upset. You had never seen her so animated before, but it made you realize just how much she loved you. You hoped her stress wasn’t going to affect the baby. You would do everything in your power tomorrow to make her forgive you. 

“Fuck,” you muttered to yourself in your personal quarters of the palace. You punched the stone wall beside you several times, kicking up debris, your knuckles no doubt bruising beneath your gloved hands.

With all of the worry about Amira aside, you were left intrigued. How did she get this tape? Who gave it to her? And for what purpose? You had a lot of enemies, so making a list of possible people wouldn’t have been reasonable. Perhaps it was someone who wanted Amira all to themselves? Maybe it was the blonde woman on the tape. You couldn’t remember her name, but you remember she had hounded you for weeks after you slept together that one and only time. She had gotten to be such an annoyance that you commanded her division leader to fire her and remove her from The Finalizer.

You put your hand over the holotape and closed your eyes in an attempt to gain any information about how this tape ended up in Amira’s hands. You searched and searched and saw nothing for awhile, but that’s what scared you. “Amira,” you whispered to yourself, and ran out of your room and to Amira’s quarters. Her guards stood by her door and immediately raised their weapons when they saw you charging like a bull. You waved your hand in their direction, and all four of them went flying to your right, slamming into a wall and laying unconscious on the floor.

You opened the door to a dark and empty room. The table and chair you knocked over earlier had been return to their original positions, but something felt off. It was too late in the evening for Amira to be out of her quarters and roaming around the palace, especially if her guards still remained by her door. They obviously believed her to still be in her room.

You closed your eyes, trying to use The Force to sense where she was. Amira had no doubt learned to control her thoughts, making it harder for you to read her mind, and along with it, harder for you to keep a strong connection with her. You were certain she had been taken, but you felt strongly that it wasn’t by The Resistance. You scanned her room for any clues, and found exactly what you were looking for. On the floor of her balcony, painted in red, you read “We’ll be in contact. GDG.”

The Guavian Fucking Death Gang. All this time you were so careful not to spring a Resistance trap when you were totally reckless about any other criminal organizations who would do anything for money. This was all your fault. Amira was left unprotected and put in extreme danger, and you just let it all happen. You failed her.

You stormed as fast as you could to Hux’s quarters, informing him of Amira’s capture and letting him know you’d be regrouping back to The Finalizer. More than ever, you needed the Supreme Leader’s guidance. The Guavian Death Gang wasn’t just fucking with you. They were fucking with your wife and unborn child. This was war. By the time you got your hands on the members responsible for this, they wouldn’t be begging for their lives, they’d be begging for mercy … mercy for you to end them completely.

\--------------------------------------------

**Amira**

You awoke on a strange ship, on the floor no less, your back against a cold metal wall. The last thing you remember was several men entering your quarters from your balcony, but before you could cry out for help, one of them had slipped behind you and put a cloth over your face before everything turned to black.

“She’s up, boys,” you heard one of your captors say, seemingly in a taunting tone. He was dressed in all dark brown leather, a face that couldn’t have belonged to a boy older than the age of 20. He was surrounded by several men in red leather armor and strange masks, and he seemed to be their translator since the men in red armor never spoke.

“Do you speak Basic, whore?” the leader said.

“Yes,” you said. “And I’m not a whore.”

“We’ll see,” he said. “I’m still deciding how much fun I can have with you in the short amount of time I have you. No doubt your husband is scrambling to try and find where you are at this very moment, but unfortunately for The First Order, our ship is untraceable.”

“What do you want with me? I’m sure there’s no shortage of whores in the galaxy,” you spat.

“There’s definitely no shortage of whores in the galaxy,” came a woman’s voice behind you. You turned around, and it was the woman in the tape. The woman who had fucked your husband.

You laughed out loud, completely numb to everything happening around you. Was this all a joke? “You’ve got to be kidding me! It was you who gave me that tape, wasn’t it?” 

“Perhaps,” she stood next to the man who had been speaking to you moments ago, putting her arms around his shoulders and kissing his neck.

“Why did you send it to me?” you asked.

“We needed to separate you from Ren if we wanted to successfully kidnap you. If you hadn’t seen that tape, no doubt he wouldn’t have left your side at all. We’re good, but we can’t compete with a Force user of his caliber.”

“I was alone for nearly 2 weeks. Why didn’t you just take me then?” you snapped. 

“That was just a coincidence … we had no idea he’d be a fool and leave you alone for that long. But on another note, you should be glad you saw that holotape. Your husband isn’t who you think he is. My tape is just one of hundreds, I’m sure,” she snickered.

“When did you film that?” you asked.

“As much as I’d love to tell you it was filmed recently, it’s probably about a year old. He’s been filming himself with women for years. Any girl he took back to his quarters on The Finalizer. You do know you married a man whore, right?” she said condescendingly.

You glared at her, not wanting to dignify her response.

“He fucked me real good, and me being the savvy person that I am, I decided to steal the holotape for insurance purposes,” she went on. “I was fired shortly after that for some bullshit, but thankfully the tape was already in my possession.”

“Well you must be so proud of yourself,” you said to her. 

“I still have friends on The Finalizer, and I knew the Commander would pay a heavy price for you if you were to go … missing,” she said. “For some reason, the Commander has finally found someone he likes to fuck more than once. I don’t know what makes you so special,” she spat. Clearly she was jealous.

“From the looks of it, he’s going to be paying a little extra.” She walked over to you and eyeballed your stomach closely. You put a hand over your belly to protect your unborn child from her gaze. “Bala-Tik, look … she’s pregnant,” she turned to the translator of the Guavian Death Gang and grinned from ear to ear. 

He let out a howl. “That’s definitely going to cost the First Order a pretty penny,” he exclaimed. Him and the girl went off somewhere on the ship, and a few moments later, you knew exactly what they were doing when you heard her moans and his grunts. You wanted to vomit.

The red leather-clad soldiers stood watch over you, toting their heavy guns while you wondered what price The First Order would be asked to pay in exchange for you and your baby’s life. You looked down at your hands protecting your belly and eyeballed your wedding ring, and hope sprung to life. You remembered Kylo saying your ring had a tracking device, that no matter where you went, he’d know where you were and that you’d be safe.


	18. Search & Destroy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daddy Kylo comes to the rescue of his wife and unborn child.

**Kylo**

Kylo had been relieved to find that Amira’s ring was still on her finger as he traced her location to the Outer Rim territories. After their fight, he was afraid there was a chance she would have taken it off out of spite. She had no problem throwing it at him before he had sent her back to Egypt several weeks ago. 

The Finalizer would soon be approaching the Guavian Death Gang’s freighter in several hours, and Hux had been in quite the foul mood. He was outraged that he was ordered by the Supreme Leader to dispense all First Order resources to search and rescue Amira and Kylo’s unborn child. But of course, he had to follow orders, whether he agreed with the Supreme Leader or not.

Kylo had been too preoccupied to give a shit about Hux and his attitude. He had been pacing the bridge for the last hour, fists and teeth clenched, staring out the window into the galaxy. His thoughts were plagued with visions of dismembering every soul responsible for taking Amira and putting her and his child in danger.

Kylo had a habit of always thinking the worst, telling himself that if he prepares for the worst, than he’d be pleasantly surprised if it wasn’t. And if it turned out to be the worst, at the very least he was prepared. He knew the Guavian Death Gang was ruthless and brutal, and it enraged him to know that they had likely put their hands on Amira. The very thought of them breathing the same air as her enraged him. Amira was his. He couldn’t wait to gut every single one of them. Just a few more hours left to wait. He paced the length of the bridge again, the friction of his leather gloves audible as he clenched and unclenched his fists.

All officers kept a safe distance away from him, even Phasma, but Hux was the only one who was brave enough to deal with Kylo in his current state. He had been far too used to Kylo’s tantrums, and his outbursts didn’t phase him anymore.

“You’re making my entire crew uncomfortable, Ren,” Hux warned, lowering his voice so no one could overhear. 

Kylo ignited his lightsaber, causing several officers to gasp and some to even get out of their seats and back up toward the entrance of the bridge. Hux didn’t flinch but looked rather annoyed with Kylo’s dick measuring display. Kylo shoved his lightsaber through the closest monitor, withdrew it and then thrashed his lightsaber about, destroying the monitor and its attached mount and table. He turned off his lightsaber and turned to Hux.

“Now that we got that out of the way, maybe my pacing won’t be such a bother,” Kylo said, his robotic voice radiating sarcasm through the mask.

Hux looked at Ren with his usual look of disdain, then turned to order one of the officers on deck to dispatch a cleanup crew to take care of the mess.

\---------------------------------

**Amira**

You were led to an unoccupied bedroom on the ship by one of the red armored guards. Once you were inside, he locked you in, and you were thankful for this moment of respite, hoping it would last for as long as possible. The room contained a large bed, a small table and two chairs, and a bathroom. You went straight to the bathroom, closed the door and splashed cold water on your face. It was just what you needed after being stuck on this dank and musty freighter for who knows how long. This ship was definitely not as sleek as Kylo’s Command Shuttle or as advanced as The Finalizer. You decided to take a quick shower to feel some relief on the rest of your body, no doubt your hormones doing a number on you because of your pregnancy.

When you stepped out of the shower to grab your clothing, it wasn’t there. Someone had obviously helped themselves to your belongings. You opened the bathroom door slightly, and there he was. You noted that the blonde woman earlier called him Bala-Tik. Sure enough, he was sitting in one of the chairs at the table, as he motioned to a plate of food in front of him. 

“I don’t like waiting,” he said, rocking in his chair. “Please, come and eat.”

“I don’t remember inviting you for dinner.”

He laughed. “If it’s clothes you’re looking for, there’s a dress over there.” He motioned to the dress laid out on your bed, if you could even call it a dress. Holding your towel tight against your body, you walked over to examine the fabric. It was thin and black, and most of it was made of lace. There was extra fabric that covered the areas of your crotch, ass and nipples so they wouldn’t be exposed. But the rest of your body would clearly be seen through the fabric.

“Wow, that’s real generous of you. I think I’ll keep my towel.”

“That towel belongs to me, and I think I’d like it back.” He was calm and collected. He was finding much amusement in this conversation because you were growing more annoyed whenever he opened his mouth.

Your heart was racing. There was no way you could fight him off. You had no training in combat, and he overpowered you physically. Plus, he had a weapon. And if you did manage to disarm him, he’d be able to no doubt call upon his red armored soldiers that were for sure right outside the door. Your only chance was to stall … and beg.

“Please … I’m pregnant, and I haven’t been feeling well. I think I should lay down.” 

“I don’t think so,” he said, grinning from ear to ear. “Besides, I’ve always wanted to fuck a pregnant woman.”

He got up from the chair and started walking toward you. “Hand me your towel. I’m not going to ask again.” Bala-Tik pointed his gun at your belly.

He reached out a hand to touch your hair, bringing your locks to his nose and taking a deep breath. He quickly grabbed your towel and ripped it away from you, throwing it across the room. You were completely naked before this stranger, making an effort to shield your breasts from him, and crossing your legs to protect your sex from any unwelcome intrusions.

“Wow,” he said, ogling your body. “At first I thought we were being a little overzealous with our asking price, but now I know why Kylo Ren is willing to pay anything for you.”

“Put your arms down,” he ordered. When you didn’t move them, he pressed his gun into your belly, prompting you to put them by your sides immediately. It wasn’t just your life you had to fight for now. You had a baby to protect.

He reached his hand out and ran them over your swollen breasts and nipples. You looked away in disgust. Your eyes were tearing up but you closed them to try and prevent tears from falling. Somehow you figured him seeing you cry would bring him more satisfaction.

He grabbed your arm and faced you toward the bed, shoving the top half of your body down so you were completely bent over. Your face and stomach hit the firm bed hard, the unexpected shove didn’t allow for your arms to break your fall. You were hoping it didn’t hurt your baby. 

You heard the sound of his belt buckle and zipper and closed your eyes, deciding to plead once more and try to stall. “Can we please do this later?” you begged. “I won’t fight you. We can do it later and I’ll be willing. Let me just eat first and rest.” You turned your face to the side and tried to smile through your tears, hoping he would buy it.

The door to the bedroom opened, and one of the red armored guards made a weird sound through his mask. Bala-Tik zipped up his pants quickly. “My apologies,” Bala-Tik said. You got up from the bed after the armored guard left and used the black dress to cover the front of your body. “It seems we’ll have to continue this later. It appears we’re being followed.” He kissed your forehead and left the room.

That was a close call. You had hoped beyond all hope that whoever was following this freighter was Kylo and the First Order. You were relieved to hear that Kylo agreed to pay your captors’ ransom. That meant that he wanted you back, no matter the price. You were sure the First Order had money, and lots of it. 

You put on the black dress he left for you, deciding it would be much harder for him to tear away your dress than the towel. It was obscenely short, and now more than ever you had wished for underwear. Just when you were going to search the room for anything you can use to defend yourself, the door opened again. He was back. Damnit! He had only been gone for about 5 minutes.

“Sorry for that earlier interruption, Princess,” he said. “False alarm. Now where were we?”

You stepped back.

“Look! You even went through the trouble to get ready for me!”

He pushed you up against the wall. His movements again much too quick for you. The side of your face, your breasts, and your stomach slammed into the wall. His hands lifted your tight dress up over your hips, leaving your bottom half completely exposed. You flailed your arms, your elbow catching him in the kidney. He cursed, and hit you on the side of your face, hard. You saw stars for a moment, and felt blood dripping from your split lip.

He tossed you onto the bed and straddled you, sitting on your abdomen and hips while you screamed and struggled and kicked your legs. He held your arms down with one hand as he undid his zipper. You screamed again.

Suddenly, you felt him ease up and release your hands. You looked up and saw a torso and shoulders, and no head. Bala-Tik’s limp and lifeless body was pulled backwards, and Kylo was standing there, lightsaber in hand. He rushed toward you and pulled down your dress, inspecting your body.

You were in shock, still trying to gather if the image before you was really your husband or just your imagination. He took his helmet off, and you realized he had been saying your name several times before you even comprehended he was speaking. His eyes were wild, panic-stricken, his hair was a mess. He looked down at your legs and noticed blood on your upper thighs.

“Damnit Amira,” Kylo said in a panic. “Tell me where you’re hurt.” He had both hands on either side of your face.

“He didn’t have me,” you whispered before doubling over in pain, feeling a sudden wave of cramps. The amount of blood between your legs was alarming. Kylo’s expression was clearly one of alarm, his brows furrowed, his shoulders and chest heaving with every breath he took.

“I’m going to put you under and take you back to The Finalizer,” he said. “Everything’s going to be OK.” He put a gloved hand to your temple and everything went black.

\---------------------------------------

**KYLO (20 minutes earlier)**

The Finalizer had finally picked up the Guavian Death Gang’s freighter, staying far enough back to avoid being detected on their radar. 

“How do you want to do this, Ren?” Hux asked, following you to the North Hangar.

“I’ll take my TIE Silencer in stealth mode. If I need any additional Troopers to board, I’ll call on you. Just stay back here and make sure they don’t have an entire fucking Armada fleet waiting for us.”

Hux nodded.

You approached the freighter in stealth mode, listening to their comms to make sure you were managing to stay completely undetected. They picked you up for a short amount of time during your approach since you had to decrease your speed quickly; but they deemed it a false alarm after scanning the outer perimeter of their ship and not finding anything on radar.

You were aware that the man behind the kidnapping was ringleader Bala-Tik. You had never met him personally, but he was responsible for helping the First Order locate a very valuable droid awhile back. You boarded the freighter, allowing The Force to direct you to Amira. Your heavy footsteps caught the attention of a group of armored foot soldiers standing watch in the main area of the ship. 

The Guavian Death Gang’s red foot soldiers were cybernetically augmented with mechanical reservoirs that acted as second hearts. The reservoirs injected a combination of highly crafted chemicals into their bloodstreams, giving them incredible speed, power, and aggression. They also didn’t speak but rather communicated via a high frequency data stream transmitted from the central disk in their faceplates. Bala-Tik was one of the few in the criminal group who could translate.

Most people would be intimidated by these foot soldiers, but you encountered them once before on Coruscant and found them to be highly overrated. They fired a few shots from their blasters, your lightsaber deflecting all of their attempts. You raised your hand in their direction, and their guns immediately dropped to the floor. You lifted your hand, and the foot soldiers rose up, all of them hovering a foot off the ground, clawing at their necks, kicking their feet. You closed your hand, their bodies went limp in the air, and they all fell to the floor, lifeless.

You heard a gasp and turned -- it was the woman you had your way with on the holotape. She raised her hands. “Oh thank you! You saved me! They’ve been keeping me captive here!” If it were any other situation, her bad acting would have been comical and you would have laughed … loudly. But instead you raised your lightsaber and brought it down on her body, splitting her in two.

You followed your senses down the corridor and stopped at a door, pushing it open. You saw his back first and Amira’s flailing legs pinned underneath him as he sat on her, holding her down. Amira’s struggles and cries filling your ears. You saw nothing but hate as you swiftly walked over to him, swinging your lightsaber and removing his head from his shoulders. His head rolling back and onto the floor by your feet, you kicked it out of the way and pulled the scum’s body off of your wife.

She looked confused, dazed, her eyes not knowing where to look. You pulled the bottom of her dress down to give her some dignity, and that’s when you noticed the blood on her thighs. “Amira!” you shook her trying to get her to look at you. “Amira…,” you put your face close to hers. She didn’t answer. Amira was in great distress, and so was your unborn child. You carried her to your TIE Silencer, flying out of that freighter shit hole like a bat out of hell, praying you could get her to the Med Bay in time to save your baby’s life.


	19. He

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to The Finalizer.

[](https://ibb.co/dsEGZk)

You awoke in the Med Bay and started mindlessly scanning the room before recollecting the events that led you there. You placed your hands on your stomach, your tiny baby bump still in its rightful place. You put your head back on the pillow and sighed with relief. Kylo was in a chair against the wall and at your bedside fast asleep, the top of his hair once again in corn rows. His head was hanging off the side of the chair as he slept. He was wearing his boots and pants and a long-sleeved, fitted black shirt. His mask was nowhere in sight. 

You tried to sit up, your body stiff from the amount of time you had been unresponsive in the Med Bay bed, the beeping on your monitors increasing in speed. The monitors woke Kylo, and he bolted up when he saw you struggling to move your body and get in a more comfortable position. He quickly moved to your side to help you adjust yourself. “Careful,” he whispered, placing his hand on the back of your head and gently kissing your cheek.

He grabbed a glass of water from the table beside you and brought it to your lips, sensing your thirst. A few droplets of water landed on your split lip, and you winced.

“How do you feel?” he spoke softly. His brown eyes warm and full of concern. He had bags under his eyes from lack of sleep.

“I’m OK….is the baby ...” 

“He’s going to be fine,” he said with a smirk before you could finish your sentence.

“He?” Your eyes grew wide with excitement.

“Yes,” Kylo beamed.

You smiled back, a few tears of over-emotion dropping down your cheeks. He wiped them away with his fingers. He didn’t say anything for awhile, knowing you’d probably want to fully enjoy the news that you were carrying a son.

“I’m sorry I let this happen.” He pressed his forehead against yours. “I should have been there to protect you.”

He placed his hand on your cheek and you held onto it. 

“I don’t want you to blame yourself for the actions of others,” you said.

“This could have been prevented if I were more focused.”

“What’s done is done,” you said. “And you saved me. I knew you would save me. I didn’t doubt it for a second.” You pulled him close and wrapped your arms around him while he leaned over the bed. “Thank you.”

“After our baby is born, I want you to start training … you need to learn how to defend yourself. It would put my mind at ease.”

You nodded. “I should warn you, though. I have a mean right open-handed slap,” you were trying to hold back an evil grin.

“That, you do …” he said with a smile.

His face was serious again. “When you’re ready, I’m going to move you off the Finalizer.”

You went to object, your face full of alarm. You didn’t want to be away from him again.

“Shhhh,” he said softly, sensing your panic. “I’ll be with you.”

“Where?”

“My grandmother’s lake retreat ... on the outlying islands of Naboo. It’s been in the family for centuries, but no one has been there for over 50 years, except for the caretaker. We’ll be under the radar, and I’ll be able to keep the both of you safe,” he placed his hand on your bump.

“What about your work here? I’m only halfway through my pregnancy. Surely you can’t be away from the First Order for 4 months?”

“The Supreme Leader is wise. He doesn’t live in the moment, he sees possibilities. My heir … our baby … is the most important thing to the First Order right now.”

You nodded.

“Will Gyda be coming?” 

“She’ll be there, my Knights will be there, and several medical personnel. But for the most part, it’s just going to be you and me.”

“I’d like that.” You’ve been apart from Kylo longer than you’ve been together since your marriage. You were looking forward to this time together.

You moved yourself to the edge of the bed and dangled your legs off the sides, disconnecting yourself from the machines.

“Do you want to go back to our quarters?” He was helping you off the bed while you struggled to stand. Your legs felt like jelly.

“Yes.” You grabbed onto his shoulders for balance. “How long have I been here?” 

“Two days. We kept you under so you could rest. Your body had been through a lot.”

You hugged him. “I hope you got the rest you needed, too. When was the last time you got a good night’s sleep?”

“I don’t remember, but I’ll sleep well tonight next to you.”

You looked up at him. He was so tall that you had to crane your neck. He crouched down and kissed you softly on your lips.

“I missed this,” he whispered.

“I missed these,” you smiled as you ran your hand along the top of his head, over his cornrow braids. “Who does these for you?”

He chuckled. “Gyda, whenever I know I’ll be going into a fight. It keeps my hair out of my eyes.”

“Or you can just cut it,” you joked.

“Or I can just cut it,” he repeated, rolling his eyes.

“But I’d never let you do that,” you smiled. You loved his hair.

“I love your hair, too,” he ran his hands through your long, dark locks.

You elbowed him. “Get out of my head!”

He smiled and put his hand in yours. “Let’s get out of here.”

\----------------------------------------

You can’t recall the last time you ate so much. You were glad you already had a baby bump, or else you wouldn’t have an excuse to hide your healthy appetite tonight. Kylo had eaten a lot, too, no doubt his hunger brought on by everything he had endured during the last few days. 

He had asked you questions over dinner about what happened on the freighter, and everything that led up to your capture. Although he was relieved to hear you weren’t completely violated, he was still incensed at everything else. He knew if he had arrived one minute later, you’d be telling a different story.

Kylo also talked about the fight you had about the holotape, and opened up about his past behaviors. It was obviously something that was difficult for him to talk about, and you appreciated his honesty and trusting your relationship enough to explain himself. You felt badly for losing your temper the way you had, but you had your hormones to blame. Regardless, you didn’t want to dwell on the past. That’s not where opportunities lie.

He had drawn you a bath before bed, and you were pleased to see several water lilies floating on the surface. He had left you to bathe alone, being sensitive to your situation on the freighter. Clearly he didn’t want to push you into doing anything sexual right now. His main goal was to provide you comfort in any way he could. 

You looked at yourself in the mirror. You had a cut that was healing on your lower lip and some slight bruising on the side of your cheek and jawline. Knowing Kylo’s temper, you had no idea how he managed to keep his nerve while talking to you with you looking like this. He must have been trying real hard for your sake and not cause you anymore anxiety.

You changed into your black night slip after your bath and walked out of the bathroom. Kylo was already laying on his side of the bed in black sweatpants and nothing else, fast asleep. He had one hand on his abdomen and the other behind his head, under his pillow. His snores were light and steady, his state of peaceful rest bringing you comfort. The only light in the room was coming from his bedside lamp. You walked over to turn it off and got in bed beside him, cuddling close to his body. He was warm and smelled like his bathsoap. You buried your face in his chest and draped your arm around him and closed your eyes. You felt him stir but he didn’t wake up. These next four months on Naboo were going to be amazing.


	20. The Photograph

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally at the lake retreat, Amira and Kylo reconnect. Kylo also takes a memorable picture of his lover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From here on out, I'll be incorporating some illustrations within the text if it feels fitting.

The lake retreat was breathtaking and a far more welcoming environment than the Finalizer and Starkiller Base. Upon your descent to the planet and temporary home for the next few months, you took note that it reminded you of Egypt and your father’s palace along the Nile. Kylo’s Command Shuttle was flanked by several TIE Fighters and transport vessels, which held all of the belongings you’d need until your baby was born, as well as your attendants, various staff members and security personnel.

Standing on the balcony and overlooking the lake, you had felt a sense of inner peace and hope that you hadn’t felt in months. Kylo seemed to sense this. He approached you from behind and wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his gloved hands on your belly. He planted a few soft kisses on your neck. The both of you had still not had sex since your capture by the Guavian Death Gang; Kylo explained to you that he would wait until you felt comfortable.

You both ended up dining on the balcony that night. It felt criminal to stay inside when the weather and scenery were this perfect. After dinner, Kylo excused himself with a kiss to your lips, for a meditation session. You asked Gyda to run you a bath so you could relax your muscles after the long journey from The Finalizer.

You jolted awake when you heard Gyda beside you holding a towel and a robe, indicating that you had to come out. She had let you sleep for 45 minutes, not wanting to disturb your rest. “Your fingertips look like raisins!” she exclaimed. You slipped into a white silk robe that came two inches above your knee and tied it securely in front. You had dismissed Gyda for the evening, even though Kylo had still not returned from his meditation.

It had been almost a month since you and Kylo had been intimate, and you decided to change that tonight. He had been so understanding and respectful during this entire ordeal. His warm body and calming words soothing you over every time you awoke from a nightmare as you tried to push off an assaulting figure that was never there.  
But tonight, your first night at his grandmother’s lake retreat, you felt more than ready. Maybe it was the distance of being away from the monochrome Finalizer. You’ve been sensitive your entire pregnancy, your extra tender nipples rubbed against the silk fabric of your robe, causing them to pebble and harden. You felt that all familiar tingle in your clit, feeling your arousal pool around your inner thighs as you walked to the bed.

As if he had sensed your readiness, Kylo entered the bedroom. He had been dressed less casually since you landed this evening, no mask or robes -- just black pants and boots and his long-sleeved black shirt that fitted his muscular chest and arms like a glove. He stood only a few feet in front of you, as if knowing what you had planned, waiting for your reaction with questioning eyes.

You took his hand and walked over to the bed, lifting his shirt over his head as you trailed kisses down his chest. Backing a few steps away from him, you untied the front of your short robe and let it fall to the floor. Feeling empowered, you followed his gaze as he took in your body, as his eyes lingered to your breasts, your belly, your sex, and belly and breasts again, then to your face in appreciation. 

“Hold on a second,” he said. “Don’t move.”

You stood there in wait, watching him pluck something from a bag near the dresser. A camera.

“What’s that for?” you grinned.

“Just stay there. I’ve never seen anything so beautiful.” He kissed your lips and backed away, his erection clearly visible through his trousers.

On any given day, you would have felt uncomfortable standing before a man holding a camera while you were completely naked. But Kylo was different.

“Pose for me,” he said. “Tell me you love me without saying a word.”

You posed and he snapped. The picture ejected, and he set it on the night stand to dry and process. 

He turned his attention back to you.

“My Angel,” he whispered, taking a step toward you.

“Uh uh!” you held your hand up to his chest to halt him, catching him off guard. “Let me do this tonight,” you whispered, trying to get as close to his ear as possible, although it was hard with the height difference. He lowered his head to kiss you, only for you to break away from the kiss a few seconds later.

You got on your knees and unbuckled his trousers, pulling them down his muscular legs as he stepped out of them. His erect, bouncing cock hitting you in the chin. He was even larger than you remembered. You grabbed him by the base of his cock and looked up at him. His eyes were hooded, mouth slightly ajar and anticipating the pleasure of your mouth, no doubt enjoying you taking the lead.

Your rolled your tongue over the head of his cock, gathering his pre-cum, and slid your tongue underneath his shaft from tip to base, back to his tip. He hissed through his teeth and bucked his hips forward, trying to gain more friction against his aching cock. You took his length in your mouth until you felt him hit the back of your throat, fighting your gag reflex. Your other hand palmed his ball sack, pulling at it gently, while you felt his cock twitch against your tongue. You moaned, thinking about the pleasure spell you had him under. He placed a hand on the top of your head and tapped it gently. “If you don’t want me to come Angel you should stop right now,” he whispered huskily, looking down at you. 

You withdrew his cock from your mouth with an audible pop and crawled on top of the bed, him following your lead. He laid on his back watching you, eagerly anticipating what you had planned. His brown eyes looking at you inquisitively, his lips not able to hide his smirk. Kylo clearly was enjoying you taking the reins.

You straddled him, his hands instantly going to your hips to hold you in place. His cock laid flat against his stomach, so you made use of your slickness and placed his flattened cock between your folds, sliding yourself back and forth across his stiffness. You felt every ridge and angle of his shaft, especially the ridge of the head of his cock, taking sheer pleasure at the elevated flesh creating more friction on your clit.

You could see in his eyes that he was desperate to be inside you, his lips parted, his breathing coming in short pants, him cursing under his breath as he watched you use his cock to pleasure yourself. His obvious desperation and silent pleads sent you over the edge as you came on top of his cock, leaning backwards with your hands on his thighs as you grinded your soaking clit back and forth on his cock in quick movements.

“Please,” you heard him whisper. “Let me put my cock in your pussy,” he said, holding his cock by the base and standing it to attention, slapping it against your clit. You were just as desperate to feel him inside you. Hovering about his cock, he held it upright for you as you aligned him to your entrance. You slid down a little, stopping only to take in the head of his cock. “Fuck,” he hissed, attempting to buck his hips to get even a millimeter more inside of you. His want and need was turning you on.

“Angel, you’re killing me,” he whined, clearly full of despair. Sympathizing with his need, you seated yourself fully onto his cock in one swift motion. He wasn’t expecting it, his moan filling the room. As wet as you were, you still had to adjust yourself to his large size. You sat there for a moment to get used to the fullness of him being inside you; every movement you made, you felt him everywhere.

Kylo’s need making him impatient, he grabbed your hips and started bucking upward, getting you to move against his cock. Rolling your hips with his movement, you rode his cock, rolling your hips back and forth with a ferocious need. He moved one hand from your hip to your clit, his thumb sliding against it in unison with your movements. It was enough to send you over the edge and come for the second time tonight all over his cock. That was all he needed. He sat upright, his arms around your waist and hands holding your lower back to keep you steady as he shot his warmth deep inside of your pussy. He pressed his lips against yours as you both enjoyed your release. Your chests heaving and touching, the air felt cool against your slick, sweaty skin.

You both stayed in that position for a few moments, listening to each other’s slowing breaths. “You’re all mine, Angel,” he whispered in your ear. With him still inside of you, he flipped you over on your back and started kissing your lips tenderly for awhile. You felt his cock growing hard inside of you once again and the sensation of his hard cock filling you completely and moving in and out of you slowly at first, then pounding into you with a primal desire. 

The sound of your sexes slapping together was clearly audible, no doubt caused by the mess he left inside of you moments ago. Sensing he was close to another release from his breathing, you wrapped your legs around him and brought your hips to meet his movements, rubbing your clit against his pelvis. You once again orgasmed together, him ramming himself into you, each thrust trying to bury himself deeper inside of you. He slid himself out of you and laid his head between your breasts. You stroked his black waves, kissing the top of his head as you listened to him catching his breath. Neither of you had to say a word, and it wasn’t long before you both drifted into a peaceful slumber.


	21. Third Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two is company, three is a crowd? Yay or nay?

The first few weeks at the lake retreat were a dream. You and Kylo had made love every day, sometimes twice, and three times on rare occasions, if your bodies had any energy left. The amount of time spent together made up for the times you were apart in the beginning of your marriage. The only times Kylo left your side was to do his daily workouts, training, and meditation sessions. You had easily found things to do when he was away; reading, painting, and you loved going on walks and exploring the beautiful planet. That is, for however long your pregnant body and growing belly would allow. You wanted to soak up as much of your surroundings as possible. You knew that once the baby was born, you would likely end up back on Starkiller Base or The Finalizer. 

Your bump was growing larger, and your hormones were raging. The only good thing about your pregnancy getting into its more advanced stages was that your morning sickness had finally faded and no longer plagued you daily. Your breasts were getting larger, more full and overly sensitive, even to the slightest touch.

Your protruding belly and hormones were taking a toll on your level of confidence, though. You were starting to feel self conscious and unattractive about your once-upon-a-time tiny waist. You felt like a whale. Kylo made it a point to tell you he loved your body’s changes and found you sexier than ever. You appreciated his assurances and his actions spoke louder than words because he couldn’t keep himself away from you.

But you noticed in the last few weeks, something had started to change in Kylo’s behavior. He was spending more time away from you. His outdoor training with Hux’s soldiers and meditation sessions had seemed to double. His conversations with you grew shorter and one sided, and the majority of the conversations were started by you. You had badly and in vain tried to keep them going, but it was near impossible to get him to keep up his end of the conversation. He sometimes didn’t come to bed with you at night; choosing to stay on one of the couches in the main sitting area, lightsaber on his belt at the ready. When you asked him why he stayed on the couch, he said he had been up so late with his meditations that he didn’t want to risk waking you.

And the nights he did come to bed, he didn’t wake you to have sex. Although you weren’t sleeping ...you had laid there silently, praying you’d feel his hand on you, nudging you awake and telling you he wanted your body. But he never did. This did nothing to help your cause with you feeling like an unattractive and bloated whale.

His behavior had you wondering if he was regretting becoming a father. Did he miss his old life with the First Order, not having to worry about a wife and a baby? Was he finally starting to find you unattractive? Was he growing bored with you? Your fears and worries were shared with Gyda, who stretched out her arms once again to you to absorb your tears of frustration.

Gyda had just finished helping you get dressed for the day, and you were about to take your breakfast out on the balcony overlooking the lake when you heard Kylo’s footsteps behind you.

He started speaking before you even turned around. “I’m going to skip breakfast. I’m going outside to train.”

Weeks ago, he would have came up behind, held you and kissed your neck and cheek. Spoken to you gently. Eaten breakfast with you on the balcony. Now, he stood a distance away from you, speaking so robotically and treating you like a roommate instead of the woman he loved.

You kept your eyes on the view, the lake so calm and serene, quite the opposite image of what you felt inside. You were hurt, confused, overly emotional. You wanted answers, but you were afraid to ask. You wanted to choose your words wisely, but your raging pregnancy hormones forbid it. Your eyes burned with tears, your mouth quivering, still not turning to look at him. You were at a loss for words, and you let out a sob.

“Seriously?” you heard him say behind you followed by a loud and obnoxious sigh.

Hearing his response to your sobs drove you into a fury. How dare he nonchalantly treat your feelings like an inconvenience. You grabbed a mug from the breakfast table and threw it at him, screaming in anger. He moved to the side to dodge the mug as it crashed into the wall and shattered. Clearly he wasn’t expecting that.

You looked at him for the first time this morning. He had on his gloves, black pants and boots and fitted long-sleeve black shirt. He looked bored but not surprised at your anger. He sighed deeply again. “Come here,” he said calmly.

“No. Just go train.”

“I said come here.” He raised his voice and sounded a little irritated.

You took a seat at the table stubbornly. You licked your lips, salty from you tears, and took a sip of water from a glass. “I want to be alone.”

You heard glass shattering, and you turned to see him punching through the windows of the bay doors that led out to the balcony where you were eating. You stared at him wide eyed, knowing he wouldn’t do anything to harm you but hoping he would leave. He walked toward you and grabbed your arm, pulled you out of your chair and walked you into the bedroom forcefully.

“Do you want 110% of my attention, Amira? Is that it? You’re going to sulk and act petty if you don’t get it?” he shouted. You hadn’t seen an outburst of his like this in awhile, and he must have been holding a lot in, because the man was clearly raging. You were frightened.

When you didn’t say anything, he reached for you and tore your dress off with his hands. You screamed as you stood there naked before him, crying.

“Is this what you want?” he shouted, his face millimeters away from yours. “You need 110% of my time or else you’re going to act like a baby. Am I right? Answer me!” He shook you by the shoulders when you didn’t respond. You didn’t even make eye contact with him because he scared you.

He held your face in his hands and kissed you. It wasn’t rough, but it wasn’t exactly gentle either. He broke away from the kiss to throw off his gloves, and take off his shirt. He sat on a leather chair in back of you and pulled you onto his lap.

Your back to his chest, he positioned your feet to rest on his knees and he spread your legs open. He reached around you to rub your swollen clit. Your pussy was already soaking wet, your pregnancy leaving you in a constant state of arousal. “It doesn’t take much these days, does it?” he said, as he inserted two fingers in your cunt and spread your arousal onto your clit and outer lips.

You felt humiliated and hurt by his comment, but that was brushed to the wayside easily as he manipulated your sex with his fingers. He grazed your nipples lightly and you let out a soft moan. He ran that same hand down to your pussy to join the other one, one hand rubbing your clit while he fucked you with two fingers with the other one. You started rotating your hips to match his pace, desperate to ride out an orgasm you hadn’t had in a long time. But before you could release, he removed his hands. You whined in frustration. “Please don’t stop.”

He brought his hands up to your neck but didn’t squeeze, and whispered huskily in your ear. “But Angel, you want all the attention, right?”

You heard a series of beeps and saw that he was reaching over the arm of the chair and typing into the datapad.

“What are you doing?” you asked.

“You’ll see.”

Moments later, the bedroom door opened, and in walked a servant girl. You tried covering yourself and closing your legs, which were still spread open with your feet propped on his knees, but he held your legs open with his hands. This servant girl stood no less than 10 feet in front of you. You were trying to figure out why the hell she wasn’t leaving or didn’t apologize for barging in on you and Kylo, but then you realized that he must have summoned her.

She was pretty, with shoulder length brown hair and grey eyes. She was skinny, which made you jealous given your current state. She looked a little unsure of herself, so she just stood in front of the both of you, looking at the floor.

“Kylo, what are you doing?” you asked, confused, still trying to close your legs and even get up off his lap. You were unsuccessful, he was just too strong.

“Shhhhh,” he said. “Stay still.”

He looked at the girl. “Take off your dress and kneel.” 

“Yes, sir,” and she did so almost immediately.

“You’re going to watch me fuck my wife,” he ordered.

He removed his hands from your thighs, but you still couldn’t close your legs. No doubt they were being held open by his use of the Force. You felt his hands underneath you as he undid his pants and pulled out his cock. You felt it in front of your pussy as he grabbed you underneath your thighs and positioned you above his length and forcefully slid you down on him. The feeling of his sudden thickness inside your pussy made you gasp. You placed your hands on both arms of the chair to gain your balance.

Kylo was not being gentle on you. In fact, he was slamming into your pussy aggressively, clearly getting off on the fact that another girl was watching him fuck you. You had almost forgotten about her because of how good you felt. You could feel every vein and ridge of him inside of you; your cunt so wet as he easily slid in and out of you from underneath. His fingers kept constant pressure on your clit, giving you all the stimulation you could ask for.

The girl in front of you just watched in amazement. She was clearly impressed by his size and the aggressive nature of how he was taking you. You wanted to be embarrassed, but your feelings of pleasure trumped any kind of embarrassment you felt of her watching. Kylo slowed his movements, his hands holding on to your hips to control the movements, until he came to a complete stop.

“Come over here and lick my wife’s pussy,” he said to the girl before you.

Again you instinctively tried to close your legs to preserve your dignity, but he continued to hold you open. She crawled over to you and you felt her tongue on your clit. The movements of her tongue were soft and gentle. You couldn’t see past your baby bump, so you couldn’t watch what she was doing. You were so close to the edge with Kylo’s cock still inside of you. When he felt you moan in pleasure, he began to pump himself inside of you again while she continued tonguing your swollen pearl. 

“Oh shit,” you whispered, your breathing becoming rapid, you threw your head back and moved your hips along to Kylo’s thrusts. 

“How does that feel my Angel,” Kylo whispered between breaths. “Does your pussy feel good?”

“Yes baby,” you half moaned, half whined. You held out for as long as possible to prolong this immense feeling of pleasure, but your body gave in. You released, pulsating around Kylo’s girth. You felt the girl’s tongue flick faster on your clit, helping you make the most of your orgasm.

“That’s it baby girl,” Kylo whispered in your ear. “Cum all over this cock.”

Once the final shudders of your orgasm were through, Kylo lifted your bottom and slid his cock out of your pussy.

“Suck my wife’s cum off my cock,” he ordered the girl.

You were shocked at what he asked her to do, but somewhat turned on. With your belly blocking your view, you couldn’t see what she was doing, but you could hear her sucking his length and Kylo moaning softly with his face buried in your neck.

“Yesss,” he whispered. “Suck it all off.” His breaths were long and deep and heavy. You don’t know what you felt more … turned on or slightly jealous that another woman had your husband’s cock in her mouth.

“Stop,” he ordered.

He got up off the chair, expertly positioning you to the edge of the bed beside it, spreading your thighs and positioning himself between your legs.

“Lay next to my wife and suck her tits.” He wasn’t looking at her when he said it … he was looking into your eyes, trying to make sure whatever he was instructing her to do wasn’t going to upset you. Your face must not have given away much because he looked like he was enjoying seeing the two of you together.

You felt the head of his cock pressed against your sex as he waited to sheath himself fully in your cunt until she started licking your nipples. She must have known about what pregnancy does to the body, because she was being extremely gentle with her tongue, blowing on your nipples every few licks to heighten your sensation.

Kylo’s movements inside of you were slow and deliberate, his concentration mostly on what was being done to you. He moved his thumb to your clit, gently massaging you while he slid his cock in and out of you.

“I want you to lick my wife’s clit while I’m fucking her like this, and I want you to rub your pussy,” he commanded her, and so she did. He picked up his movements, no doubt his eyes watching himself fuck you while she ran her tongue over your clit. You could feel her tongue dipping right under your clit to lick the top of his cock going in and out of your cunt.

“I can fuck her too, Angel,” he said. “But I won’t do it unless you want me to,” he said, his voice was unsteady as he pumped into you. He leaned forward, gently, careful to not put pressure on your baby bump, so he could look into your eyes up close. He was testing you. He was walking a fine line with this request. Your inner possessiveness took hold.

“No,” you said softly, looking into his eyes. “Cum inside me,” you begged, holding on to his muscular shoulders.

“OK baby,” he said, as he picked up his pace, thrusting inside of you more quickly and forcefully, the girl going back to sucking on your tits. You felt his familiar warmth spurt inside of you, his thrusts going deeper than ever as he buried himself further in your cunt with his final strokes. You came with him, digging your nails into his chest and crying out in pleasure, so many parts of your body being taken care of at the same time. He slid himself out gently and kissed your face before turning to the girl. “Leave us.”

Moments later, you heard her footsteps and the closing of your bedroom door.

After it was all said and done, the high of your orgasm quickly fading, you weren’t sure how you were supposed to feel about this third party. “Do you know her?” you asked, surprised at how jealous you sounded.

“Not really,” he replied, walking to the bathroom to go clean himself off.

Suddenly you felt exposed and vulnerable and covered yourself with a bedsheet.

“What do you mean not really?”

He spoke from the bathroom. “I don’t know her but I’ve just seen her around, that’s all.”

“Did you fuck her?” 

You heard his footsteps, and you turned to look at him and saw him standing in the doorway looking at you. “Seriously?” he asked, sounding a little annoyed. “You’re asking me if I fucked her?”

You sat there staring at him. You knew the answer was no, but you just had to ask him to get your point across that you weren’t really liking what just happened.

He continued, “If you didn’t like what was going on, you could have told me. I was just trying something different. Clearly I wasn’t into her. I just liked what she was doing to you.”

Your eyes stung and your eyes started to water. You looked away so he wouldn’t see that you were on the verge of tears. You felt like you weren’t good enough for him anymore.

“Hey,” he walked over to the bed and sat down in front of you. “Don’t be like that,” he spoke softly, his hand on your cheek.

You looked down, avoiding eye contact with him.

“Look at me.”

You shook your head.

“I said look at me,” he said firmly, tilting your chin up with his finger.

“I would never fuck anyone that isn’t you … ever.” He paused for emphasis. “I don’t want to fuck anyone but you. I don’t care about anyone but you. I love only you. If tonight was too uncomfortable, we don’t have to do anything like it ever again.”

Your pregnancy hormones were making you too emotional to speak. You felt if you said something, you would crack and start to cry. So instead, you nodded your head and hugged him, burying your face in his neck.

“Why have you been distant with me lately?” You felt it was the perfect time to ask him. You didn’t have to look into his eyes if he gave you an answer you didn’t want to hear.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I know this hasn’t been easy on you.”

“Have I done something wrong? It’s like you barely want to be around me anymore, or even touch me.”

“It’s not that,” he said reassuringly.

“Then what is it?” You let go of him to look him in the face.

“I have a lot on my mind, but none of this is about you nor is anything your fault,” he said.

“Do you still love me?”

“Every day, and with all my heart,” he responded as he ran his thumb over your bottom lip before he kissed you on the mouth.

He got up to put a pair of black sweats on, his usual workout pants, before he sat back down on the bed with you again.

“I have to go back to The Finalizer tonight,” he said. He saw the look of disappointment in your eyes. “It’s just going to be a day, two at the most,” he reassured you. “It’s something that can’t be handled without me.”

“What’s so important that it can’t wait?” you asked.

“They’ve been unsuccessful in their interrogations of someone who likely knows the whereabouts of a high-functioning Resistance base. They need me to take the information since it’s not being given willingly.”

“Oh,” you said disappointedly.

“I’ll call for Gyda and get her to run you a bath,” he said. “I’ll be back after training.” And with that, he was out the door and you were alone once again. 

You threw a long black tank on while you waited for Gyda, and noticed Kylo’s camera sitting on the nightstand. You pointed the camera to yourself and snapped. You didn’t even bother smiling … you just weren’t in the mood. When the photo was finished processing, you picked it up and took a look at your creation. Yup, that was definitely how you were feeling right now.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=2n68t5)


	22. The Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo visits the Finalizer, and Amira gets a visit from a surprise guest.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=157md4x)

**KYLO**

As always, Kylo felt rejuvenated after his training. The cool outdoor breeze felt good on his sore muscles and his skin, sending an extra chill when it hit his soaking wet workout clothes. It was late in the afternoon, and he decided on an early dinner before his journey back to The Finalizer.

He entered the bedroom and saw that Amira had fallen asleep while reading, the book still in her hands but flopped forward onto her chest. He walked over to her, careful to make sure the sound of his boots didn’t wake her. She looked like an angel. His angel. He watched the slow rising and falling of her chest and fixed his gaze to her belly, where she was keeping his son safe and protected, and his heart started beating faster. 

These past few weeks, he had been more determined than ever to keep Amira and their unborn child safe. From the double training sessions, to staying awake most nights in the main living area of the retreat, watching and listening for any intruders or the slightest hint of something wrong. His training sessions outside had become intense and aggressive. Typically, no one would get hurt in sparring sessions. But several times, Hux’s soldiers were sent off with bruised and broken ribs, sprained shoulders, black and swollen eyes, ankle sprains, and many other conditions Kylo couldn’t remember.

Like Hux’s soldiers, Kylo was beyond exhausted, both mentally and physically. But he didn’t want to fail Amira like he did before. And now that she was getting closer to her delivery date, his determination was getting more extreme than ever. Borderline obsessive, even. He had to keep her safe.

He knew his behavior wasn’t just taking a toll on himself -- it was also taking a toll on Amira. She had been feeling neglected. He sensed her loneliness and worry. Several times he had stood behind the door and listened to her cries while Gyda provided her comfort. But this was a time when he couldn’t be weak; he had to stay strong and remain focused. There had been nights when he had given in and had sex with her, and it surely provided the both of them much needed release. But after the sex, he had hoped so badly it would help make her happy for the time being, buying him some more time to focus solely on training and keeping watch over what was his.

It pained him that he couldn’t be there for her physically more often, but Amira was his weakness. And now more than ever he couldn’t afford to slip up. Not once. He would surely make it up to her after the baby was born. But until then, he had to stay on top of his training and keep his mind clear and be ready for the unexpected. Amira was strong and made it this far, so she can certainly go a few more weeks.

After his shower, Kylo had asked the kitchen staff to prepare him a quick meal he could easily eat aboard his Command Shuttle. He thought about waking Amira to say goodbye, but he decided to let her rest. He would only be gone 48 hours tops anyways. His lips barely grazing her forehead, he kissed her goodbye and put on his helmet. He noted that it felt odd to wear it again after a few months of going without it. He clipped his lightsaber to his belt and turned back to look at his wife in a peaceful slumber. Please keep them safe, he whispered, not knowing who he was speaking to anymore.

**AMIRA**

When you woke up, you knew that somehow Kylo was no longer on the planet, and your heart sank. You weren’t surprised that he didn’t say goodbye. He had The First Order on his mind, and of course The First Order was his priority. At least that’s what Hux had told you months ago. There was still an hour’s worth of daylight left, and since you had missed your walk earlier in the day, you decided to get a few steps in before dinner. 

The paths that surrounded the retreat were beautiful, with nearly dozens of different kinds of flowers adorning each side of the trails. You made it a habit several weeks ago to smell each one. You decided that a bush that carried the lilac flower was your favorite scent. Your usual path led you to the top of a hill where several large flat rocks were arranged, purposely you think, for sitting.

They allowed you to look down at the retreat and over the lake. It was quiet, almost too quiet. You noticed that your usual entourage wasn’t a few paces behind you. You stood up, as if having a higher vantage point would make a difference. No Trooper patrol. You shrugged and sat back down. Maybe they were a little bit more lax now that Kylo was away, which you didn’t mind. It had been awhile since you had true privacy.

“It’s a beautiful view isn’t it?” 

You gasped and jumped, the woman’s voice startling you. You looked to the stone on your left and saw a woman, dressed in flowing navy and grey robes, sitting down and gazing at the lake. She had salt and pepper hair that had been braided and delicately arranged in an intricate updo.

“What are you doing here?” 

“My mother and father were married here, right on the very terrace where you have your breakfast and dinner most nights, but that was ages ago,” she said, turning to you with a half smile. Her smile was warm and seemed genuine. You didn’t feel in danger.

“You’ve been watching me?” 

“I like to think of it more as ‘watching over you’,” she said, still smiling. She looked at your belly.

“I don’t understand,” you said, shaking your head in confusion.

“It would have been much easier if my son chose a different woman, someone without a soul, a social climber who would sell her firstborn for The First Order. But he chose you.”

Your eyes went wide and it felt like your heart stopped. Her son? You had so many questions. “I’ve asked him so many times about his parents. It’s a subject he always likes to change, so I stopped asking eventually,” you said.

The woman chuckled. “That sounds about right.”

You continued. “Why doesn’t he want to talk about you?”

The woman let out a long sigh, taking her eyes off of you and staring at the lake again. “Because I’m the leader of the Resistance,” she said.

“General Leia Organa?” You remembered the name from your First Order books.

“Last I checked,” she smiled gently at you.

She must have sensed your feelings of worry, because she reached out for your hand and held it.

“I’m not here to harm you. I’m here to tell you you’re on the wrong side,” she said.

“Of course you would tell me that,” you said defensively, pulling your hand back.

“I know you come from a neutral planet, and you never had a stake in this war until now. But all the stories you’ve heard, the headlines, the reports, you’re hearing it from one side only. Aren’t you curious about the other?”

“I haven’t thought about it to be honest,” you said.

“My son’s intentions are true, and I know he loves you. But he doesn’t make the best decisions. That’s where he takes after his father.” She chuckled again.

“I can’t just give up everything I’ve known in the last 9 months because I’m having a heart to heart with my son’s mother, who happens to be the leader of the Resistance,” you said, standing up. “I won’t betray Kylo. I can’t.”

“I think you and I know that this goes far beyond my son right now, and even you,” she said. “Think about your baby. Think about what’s to become of him as he grows older. Do you think Snoke will just let you all be one happy family? Your baby is special -- a force sensitive like his father, and his family that came before him. Snoke will use your son, the same way he’s using mine.”

For the first time, you saw pain behind the General’s eyes. She wasn’t saying anything too far off base from what you thought of before. You spent many restless nights thinking about raising your baby on Starkiller or The Finalizer. Practically growing up around ground zero of the war’s headquarters. You still didn’t have a lot of knowledge of the First Order, but you did know that their tactics consisted of heavy violence and brute force. You even remembered learning about Kylo being referred to as the Jedi Killer.

“What can you provide my son that the First Order can’t?” 

“Stability. A safe home. A real childhood. A choice at who he wants to become -- not a pawn under Snoke in the First Order.”

“What about Kylo?”

“My son has always been free to make his own decisions,” she said.

You turned to gaze at the lake. It was getting dark, and you needed to get back. 

“I need some time,” you said.

“Of course. But we haven’t got much of it. I’ll be sitting in this very spot tomorrow morning. I hope you make the right decision for you and for your unborn child.” She walked up to you and studied your eyes for a moment before hugging you and walking up the path, away from the retreat.

You were left with more questions than answers. How could you give up everything you know on a whim? On a hint of hope -- hope that you were making the best possible decision for your unborn child. The more you considered this, the more you felt like you were betraying Kylo. Certainly he wouldn’t have approved of the conversation with his mother. It was going to be a long night of battling the pros and cons of this decision. But you had until tomorrow to decide.


	23. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will she stay or will she go?

**Amira**

You had barely slept through the night, your mind constantly replaying your conversation with General Organa. You couldn’t believe the Resistance had made contact with you and somehow managed to outwit and avoid the Stormtroopers and Deathtroopers surrounding the retreat. Kylo would be furious, and no doubt this slip up would cost the lives of some who were supposedly in charge.

You were also anxious about how Kylo would react to the fact that you had spoken with his mother, someone with whom he had a very complex relationship. And it also didn’t help that you were at the end stages of your pregnancy. Finding a comfortable position had been increasingly difficult and damn near impossible most nights.

You had hoped so badly Kylo would be back by now, at least by the morning, so you could consult with him before making a final decision. General Organa seemed sincere and was the only other person besides Gyda who gave off clear maternal vibes, which was extremely comforting. General Organa shared obvious concerns for her grandchild, the very same concerns you had been worried about ever since you found out you were pregnant. Yes, you loved Kylo and he was your everything. But as a soon-to-be mother, you had to do what was best for your child more than yourself. 

And then there had been the last few weeks when Kylo barely acted like you existed. He barely fucked you. Barely had a meaningful conversation with you. Slept outside of the bedroom and missed so many meals, leaving you to eat alone and in silence at the table. Would you be doing him a favor if you left?

The more you thought about your decision, the more you became scared to death. But thankfully you didn’t have to think anymore, because your mind finally gave way to sleep.

\------------------------

You woke up to an empty bed. You had hoped that Kylo had returned at some point through the night and that you’d wake up to his warmth pressed against your back. You weren’t that lucky this morning. With a heavy heart, you bathed and, with Gyda’s assistance, got dressed. 

“You seem to be distant this morning, Amira. Is everything OK?”

“I’m fine, Gyda.” You smiled at her while she worked on your hair. You continued. “Gyda, I’m so thankful for you. I just want you to know that I would have been in bad shape if you weren’t around for me this last year.”

Gyda hugged you from behind. “Oh you flatter me too much, dear. You’re like a daughter to me.”

Your heart sank. If you were to leave the retreat with the Resistance, you’d not only be leaving Kylo, but you’d also be leaving Gyda. Your eyes red and brimming up with tears, you wiped a thumb underneath your eyes to wipe away any excess fluid that would give it away that you were crying. You made it a point to curse your allergies so Gyda wouldn’t think you they were real tears. It must have worked, because she kept humming away while she styled your hair.

You waited around for another hour, hoping Kylo would come back. But time was running out. You had been silently crying for the last hour, playing every scenario in your mind. You grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, scribbled a short note for Kylo, and left it on the nightstand. Sitting on your nightstand was the Polaroid camera. You grabbed it and headed outside for the trail up the hill to meet the General. “Goodbye Kylo,” you whispered.

You outsmarted the Troopers and managed to lose them before your hike. When you made it to the overlook, The General was there, alongside two men in regular clothes. You stood still, frozen in place, clutching your stomach.

“Don’t be alarmed,” she said, her eyes warm and sympathetic. “They are here for my protection.” She walked over to you slowly, holding out her hand for you to take. “Am I right in assuming you want to come with us?”

You thought you were sure, up until a few moments ago. You closed your eyes, took a deep breath feeling your heart beating outside of your chest. After a few seconds, you opened them and nodded. “I’m sure.”

General Organa embraced you, and you hugged her back. “We need to get moving. We don’t know how much time we have, and we don’t want to be running into Kylo’s Command Shuttle on our way out of here.”

It pained you to hear his name. General Organa saw it in your eyes and squeezed your hand. “He is stronger than you think, Amira.” She paused for a moment, allowing you to gather your thoughts. It was then that you felt a massive amount of warm liquid running down your legs.  
“Oh no,” you said, panicked. “My water…”

You lifted up the bottom of your maxi dress to find the water dripping down your legs. The General knew exactly what was going on.

“We have a small transport speeder that will take us to the ship. We’re a few miles out. Follow me, and hurry!”

It didn’t take long to get you back to the Resistance ship. There were about 20 people aboard. General Organa had ordered those on the ship to create a makeshift bed to use for the journey back to the Resistance base. You had no idea how long it would take you to get there, and the thought that you may have to deliver on board this ship was frightening. You were instantly regretting your decision to leave the retreat. All you wanted was Gyda and Kylo by your side, and the doctors who had been monitoring you for the last few months.

The pain you started to feel was increasing. The General was by your side on her knees, squeezing your hand and encouraging you to breath. Another woman in plain clothes was wiping the beads of sweat from your brow with a cool, damp cloth.

“How long will I be in here for?” The panic was setting in and your tears were streaming down your face.

“Faster than you think, sweetheart,” the General said. “Just keep your breathing steady and stay strong. We have the best doctors in the galaxy who are already on notice and waiting for our arrival.”

She smiled reassuringly at you. “Everything is going to be fine, Amira. We’re not going to let anything happen to you or my grandson.” She squeezed your hand, and that was the last thing you felt before everything around you went dark.

**Kylo**

You were a few minutes out from arriving back at the Retreat, excited to see Amira. But something felt off. Different. You hoped this was the only time your senses were wrong. You disembarked the ship and walked into the large lakeside retreat and straight for the bedroom. You couldn’t sense Amira’s presence anywhere in the house. You used the Force to open the door, the knob slamming against the wall and leaving an impression in the stone. The room was completely empty and dark. “Lights on” you shouted.

Your eyes went immediately to a small piece of paper by her bedside night table. She had left you a note.

_I didn’t want to, but I had to. I want our baby to have a life outside of this war. I will keep him safe and share with him who you are and what you mean to me. I will always love you._

You let out a primal, gut-wrenching scream that seemed to last forever, until you had no more air to release from your lungs. You took off your helmet, threw it across the room and fell to your knees. Amira, the only woman you had ever been in love with, had left you a completely broken man. For the first time in a long time, you allowed yourself to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking a long time to update the story! Work has been leaving my brain completely mangled. But I missed Amira and Kylo, so I promise I'll be quicker with my updates going forward :)


	24. The Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo makes a major decision.

  
Kylo & Amira's Son

**Amira**

You were in labor for 16 hours, and fortunately, you were able to deliver your son off the transport shuttle and on the Resistance base in a comfortable medical room. You were beyond exhausted, but none of that mattered to you now. All that mattered was that your son was safe and healthy. “What would you like to name him?” a medical aid had asked, placing the squirming infant in your arms. “Altair,” you said. Pronunciation: Al-Tare. Translation? Flying bird, which was a tribute to Kylo. Your very first memory of his existence was when his Command Shuttle, what you then called the Black Falcon, touched down on your home planet and outside the palace walls before he claimed you as his bride.

Now more than ever, you missed Kylo. Now more than ever, as you look into the eyes of your son, did you wish Kylo could share in the joy of your joint creation. Your son had not a care in the world as he lay in your arms, breathing softly with his eyes closed. Your wish for him was that he’d feel at peace like this for the rest of his life. You’d do anything to make it so. Your ran your finger gently down his cheek. His skin was so soft, almost like you were gliding your finger on a bouncy sheet of silk. He had your olive skin tone and Kylo’s full lips. You knew that in the next few months, you’d be able to pick out more hints of Kylo in your son, especially his personality, and you looked forward to it.

“Congratulations, mom.” Leia was standing in the doorway, walking toward you. “He’s so beautiful.”

You looked down at Altair and smiled. “Thank you.”

“How are you feeling?” She brushed some of your hair out of your eyes.

“I’m tired, but I’m OK,” you smiled at her. Your smile must not have been convincing, or your eyes gave it away.

“I know none of this is easy for you, but know that you’re not alone,” she smiled warmly. “We are all here for you. We’re family now. I’m looking forward to getting to know you and I look forward to creating memories with my grandson.”

You smiled and let out a sigh, a single tear falling down your cheek.

“I’m sorry about my son,” she said.

“I miss him,” you said, your voice getting caught in your throat. “I feel like I betrayed him.”

“I miss him, too. Every day I miss him. And every day I hope he turns back to the light and comes back to the family who loves him. But for now, you can’t think like that. He’s a grown man and decides his own fate. Your son can only rely on the decisions you make for him now.”

You nodded. “I’ll pray every day for Kylo to come back to us,” you said.

**Kylo**

It wasn’t hard to find Amira. Her wedding ring was still on her finger, and you had tracked her to D’Qar. You scouted the planet over the course of the last few weeks and came to the conclusion that it was the Resistance Headquarters. This location was a Gold Mine to the First Order. You assumed Amira had forgotten about the tracking device since she went with the Resistance willingly and had failed to remove it from her finger.

The complete destruction of the Resistance Headquarters would have been top priority for both Snoke and General Hux, even with your pregnant wife on the planet, so you decided to keep the information to yourself. Never in your time with the First Order had you betrayed them like this, but your family was your priority now. 

You decided to make an unprecedented move and send a holo message directly to General Organa herself to make a request you never would have imagined. Your only hope was that she’d accept it.

**Amira**

Altair was 3 weeks old and growing stronger every day. He reminded you of Kylo in so many ways, from his facial expressions, to his eyes, to his smile. You were so thankful that you had a part of Kylo to cherish forever. 

The people of the Resistance had been nothing short of kind to you. It was a less rigid environment than that of the First Order. In the few short weeks that you had been here, this place felt more like home than the Finalizer did, with the exception of Gyda. You missed her and hoped she was doing alright.

A knock on the door interrupted your thoughts.

“Come in,” you said. It was Leia.

“I have to talk to you,” Leia said. The tone of her voice was more serious than usual, and her face had a look of concern.

“Sure. What is it?”

She motioned for you to sit. “I received a message from Kylo,” she started.

Your eyes went wide and your heart dropped to your stomach.

“He wants to see you. He has agreed to not give away the location of our base, and he’s agreed to come alone.”

“Oh no!” You twirled your ring around your finger. “My ring,” you held it up.

“It’s OK,” Leia said. “He doesn’t want anything to happen to you, so he’s agreed to make this meeting peaceful and non-confrontational.”

“Does he know about Altair?” you asked.

“No. It’s up to you if you’d like him to meet his son. I don’t want you to feel like you have to put yourself or Altair in danger.”

“He won’t harm us,” you said. “He deserves to meet his son.”

Leia nodded. “Are you ready?”

“He’s here now?” Your voice went high.

“He is.”

You let out a slow, controlled breath.

“I’m ready.”

Kylo’s Command Shuttle was stationed a mile outside the Resistance Headquarters. Your transport shuttle was accompanied by nearly a dozen Resistance fighters and the General herself. Your son lay in your arms asleep and in a relaxed state. You wish you felt as calm as he did. Your stomach was in knots, and your breathing was slow and shallow. You wanted to see Kylo, but you felt ashamed and scared to face him after leaving him for what you knew to be the biggest enemy of the First Order.

The doors to the transport shuttle opened, and you saw Kylo standing about 50 yards away, at the end of the ramp of his Command Shuttle.

“We’ll be here,” Leia said. “Good luck.” You nodded.

You walked toward Kylo slowly, holding Altair in your arms. He was in his full armor and robes with his helmet in his hand. When he saw what you were holding, his helmet dropped to the ground. The closer you got to him, you noticed his eyes were red, watery, and it looked like he hadn’t slept in days. You couldn’t tell by his expression if he was more hurt or angry. Or both. You could have sworn you saw his lips quiver. A few tears ran down your cheeks as you held out your son for Kylo to see.

He looked at his son, his expression a complete look of shock and awe. He extended a gloved hand to the tiny baby, and the baby clasped his chubby little hand around the leather finger of Kylo’s glove.

“What’s his name?” he whispered.

“Altair,” you said. 

“Is he healthy?”

“Yes, he’s perfect in every way.”

He watched his son a little while longer. “He’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Do you want to hold him?” you asked.

Kylo shook his head. “No. I don’t deserve it.”

“Don’t say that,” you scolded him. “He’s here because of you.”

He shook his head again. “I know why you did it,” he said, looking in your eyes. “I can’t blame you for that.” 

He wiped a few tears from your cheeks. “I miss you so much,” you said through tears.

“You don’t have to miss me anymore,” Kylo said. “I’m not worth your pain.”

Your brows furrowed. “Why do you said that?” you asked.

He put a hand to your temple, and the last thing you remembered was a sharp pain before walking back to Leia and the transport shuttle.

**Kylo**

The very thought of it made you sick, but it was now or never. You only wanted what was best for Amira and your son. For once in your life, you were going to do something that benefited someone else instead of yourself.

You held your hand to Amira’s temple. 

“You will forget me and everything we have shared together since the first time I met you in Egypt. When I finish talking, you’re going to return to your transport shuttle and forget about this meeting. The father of your son is Ben Solo. He’s dead. He was murdered by Kylo Ren.”

You lowered your hand. You saw Amira’s eyes glaze over, and she turned around with your son in her arms and walked away. Tears silently rolling down your face, you made eye contact with Leia and nodded in her direction. You had discussed with her beforehand what you planned to do, and both of you agreed it was in the best interest of Amira and your son. You put your helmet back on and headed back to The Finalizer, not being able to shake the feeling that you made the biggest mistake of your life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so hard to write! But don't worry -- there's more to Amira and Kylo's story! I don't have the heart to end it like this!


	25. Over Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A less than expected reunion

**Kylo**

It had been two years. Two long, painful years. And throughout that time, Leia kept her promise. It hadn’t been too often, but whenever you could make the request, she’d send you the latest updates on Amira and Altair. With every update, you felt that stinging sensation in the back of your throat as you swallowed away your oncoming tears. You had to remain strong. There was no room for weakness. Not anymore.

Amira was happy. Completely unaware of the love you both shared, and that hurt you more than not being with her physically. The memories you made, even the bad ones, were completely removed so you could help her move on without you. Thankfully Altair would never remember you as the man you are, but the man Amira would tell him you were. And no doubt, Leia was filling Amira’s head with all of the kind things Ben Solo used to be before you killed him.

In these two years, you’ve become an expert at masking your pain from Snoke. But you knew it would only be a matter of time before you could keep up the charade. Whenever the First Order would get a hint of information about the Resistance and any of their locations, you’d quickly use your powers to throw them off the trail. Your constant betrayals were an ongoing reminder of your failure as Commander of the First Order. Your failure to not resist the call to the light. You didn’t know where you belonged anymore.

Time didn’t pass quickly for you. Every day was pain and torture, which you tried to quell with meditation and an occasional whore. But each time, you felt more empty than before. You couldn’t focus long enough for your meditations to be useful, and every woman you lay with was a stark reminder that she was no Amira. 

You couldn’t resist your temptations anymore, so against your better judgment, you sent a message back to Leia, informing her that you’d be making an appearance on D’Qar. For the first time in two years, you’d be laying your own eyes on Amira and your son in the flesh, but you would have to keep your distance. You didn’t want to throw anyone off with any interaction with either of them. You told her you’d be there in three days time. 

**Amira**

After giving Altair his 100th kiss on his cheek, you handed him off to the nanny so you could finish getting ready for Leia’s birthday gala. You chose a white and midnight blue gown and wore a white calla lily above your ear. You pulled your hair back in a sleek, knotted bun at the base of your head. You stared at your reflection and thought about Ben. Would he have thought you were beautiful tonight? You hoped so. You closed your eyes, trying to remember any kind of memories you once had shared, but like every other time, you were unsuccessful. 

The events that led to Ben’s death and all of your memories before that moment were stolen from you, completely wiped by the First Order. Specifically, by the monster people call Kylo Ren. It was cruel that they had to mercilessly murder your husband while you were pregnant with his child, but even worse to steal all your memories away from you. Now the only thing you had left that belonged to both of you was Altair, the reason why you managed to stay strong all these years.

“You look beautiful, Amira.” The nanny stood in your doorway, holding Altair. 

“Thank you,” you blushed. 

“If you’re ready, we can head to the gala now.”

“I am. Let’s go.”

_Photo of Amira before Leia's Gala_  


  


____

____

**KYLO**

You stood in a corner of a grand hall filled with nearly 200 Resistance members. You thought it ironic that all of them wanted you dead, but they had no idea you were in plain sight. You wore black trousers, boots, and a fitted black long-sleeved top. It felt strange being without a mask in front of so many people, but none of them knew what Kylo Ren looked like anyway. Your thoughts were interrupted by a presence, and you immediately knew Amira was near. You looked toward the entrance, and the most beautiful woman in the galaxy walked in. She walked slowly and methodically as she held the hand of your two year old son who hadn’t yet mastered the art of walking swiftly and gracefully. It took everything you had not to run out and hold her, kiss her, and take a knee and look into the eyes of your son.

You kept your gaze on her for awhile, almost too long, enough for Amira to feel like she was being watched and look up to meet your gaze. Instinctually, you turned your head to look somewhere else. You knew she wouldn’t be able to make out who you were, but you still felt like you got caught doing something wrong. After a few seconds, you looked back at her, and she was already making her way to a table and chairs. You noticed several men approach her, exchange some words, and even tried talking to your son. Some hugged her, kissed her hand, touched her arm. You felt a rage inside of you burning. Did those men not know Amira was all yours? Your fists clenched, and you shifted the weight in your feet.

“I’m glad you came,” your mother’s voice said beside you. It was almost muffled as she spoke over the live band that was playing.

You didn’t turn to face her. “It wasn’t for you.”

She sighed. “That goes without saying. Are you going to stand in this corner all night? You’re going to draw attention to yourself.”

You turned to face her. “My options are fairly limited.”

“You can try your luck at the buffet table,” she said, her tone dripping in sarcasm. She and your father were great at sarcasm.

You rolled your eyes. “She looks happy,” you stated.

“She’s very happy,” Leia confirmed.

“Has there been anyone else?” you asked her, almost afraid of what the answer was going to be.

“What if there was?” Leia asked.

“Don’t play games,” you barked.

“No. There has been no one,” she said.

You closed your eyes and breathed a long sigh of relief, but in the most discreet way possible, so your mother wouldn’t notice.

“Thank you,” you mumbled. “For the updates, for allowing me here.” You didn’t say thank you too often, and it surely wasn’t easy.

“It’s the least I can do for you … my son,” she said, staring into your eyes.

You turned away quickly. Affection between you and your mother didn’t feel natural. You had gone so long without it.

“Happy Birthday, Leia.” That voice. Amira. You turned in the direction of your mother, and there Amira was with your son by her side, hugging his mother’s leg and looking at you inquisitively. He had your dark, wavy hair and honey eyes and his mother’s olive skin. He was yours.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” She hugged Amira and kissed her on the cheek and bent down to pick up your son to give him a kiss on his cheek.

Amira turned to you and smiled. “Hello,” she said warmly. She looked beautiful across the room but up close and personal, she took your breath away. It took everything in your power to not plant a kiss on her lips and hug her and bury your face in the crook of her neck. You kept your face stoic.

“Hi,” you said awkwardly. There was a long pause. Amira was likely expecting you to introduce yourself, but you quickly turned on your heel and walked away. She probably thought you were incredibly rude, but you weren’t ready. Your heart was racing, and you were starting to feel like a weakened version of yourself. 

You sprinted out of the grand hall and outside and didn’t stop until you reached your TIE Silencer. You squatted on the ground to catch your breath and punched the ground several times, leaving an impression in the dirt. Tears of rage more than sadness streamed down your cheeks and you screamed until your throat felt like it was on fire. You were angry you missed out on two years of your son’s life. Missed out on two years of being by Amira’s side and being happy together. Instead you had two years of being alone and miserable and completely lost. All you knew was you couldn’t take another day like this.

_Photo of Altair after the Gala. Pooped out!_  



	26. Like Old Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just like old times!

**Amira**

You did your best to stay at the gala for as long as possible, but Altair’s heavy eyelids couldn’t be ignored. Once you were back in your quarters, you readied him for bed and tucked him in and began your usual nightly routine. A kiss on the cheek followed by a bedtime lullaby your mother used to sing to you, and then after his eyes gave way to the night, you’d kiss him gently on the cheek and turn out the lights.

You walked into your closet, quickly stripping out of your dress, letting down your hair, and throwing on a grey sleep tank and sleep shorts. You sighed and stretched. Tonight had been a long night, but a wonderful one. It wasn’t often that Leia allowed people to celebrate her. She was so humble and always wondering what she could do for someone else. She had been so kind to you these last few years, sharing endless memories of Ben. Yes, it hurt that he was lost to you forever, but you realized it must have been equally as painful for her to know he was gone and was never coming back. 

You walked back into your bedroom and turned on the light, but the figure standing at the foot of your bed made you scream at the top of your lungs. But you were only able to make a sound for a split second. He was expecting you to scream -- he was prepared. He immediately lunged toward you, putting a hand tightly over your mouth to stifle your screams. Your hands reached up to pry his hand away from you mouth, but he was just too strong. He forced your back up against the wall and pinned you there, his free hand gripping both of your wrists and holding them together. It was no use struggling. 

“SHHHHHHHH,” the man said, looking into your eyes. “Be quiet. I don’t want to hurt you,” he said in a harsh whisper.

It was strange -- he looked just about as fearful as you must have looked. Your eyes wide and still trying to let out a stifled scream, you realized that this was the man from the gala. The tall man in all black that had been speaking with Leia. The very man that neglected to introduce himself and left abruptly and never came back. You had thought it quite unfortunate because you thought he was extremely nice to look at, and you were immediately attracted to him, and that was a feeling you hadn’t felt in a very long time. But now here he was, in your bedroom, with his hand over your mouth, holding you captive.

“I’m going to take my hand off of your mouth. Don’t scream. Understand?”

You nodded.

“Ok,” he said. “Removing my hand now…” he started to remove his hand slowly. The second he did, you opened your mouth to scream, and again, it only lasted a split second before he had his hand over your mouth again.

“Amira ... Damnit,” he cursed.

How did he know your name? You didn’t care. You needed to try and make a commotion for someone to hear. You screamed into his hand as loud as you could for as long as you could, but to no avail, until you had no energy left to make a sound or to no longer squirm under his hold.

“Are you finished?” the man asked, irritated.

You didn’t nod this time, instead your fear took over and you felt the tears run down your eyes and roll down your cheeks and over his hand covering your mouth. He brought his face close to yours and looked into your eyes. Why was he looking at you like that? He felt familiar. Something felt familiar. His eyes were so sad. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

What was he sorry for? Was he apologizing for something he was going to do to you? You thought the worst and started screaming again.

“Shhhh,” he said. He let go of your wrists and brought his free hand to the side of your head. And you stopped struggling, and you don’t remember why. 

**KYLO**

“I’m going to remove my hand from your mouth, and you’re not going to scream or call for help. In fact, you’re going to feel completely comfortable in my presence. You’re going to let me fuck you like you’ve been wanting to get fucked for the last two years. And when we’re finished, you’re going to forget about tonight and never speak of it with anyone. Ever.”

You removed your hand slowly, and she stood calmly, back to the wall, staring at you with a look of calmness and serenity. She looked absolutely beautiful. Your need and want for her was absolutely primal. You felt your cock harden and begin to strain against your pants. You palmed yourself and looked at Amira, relishing this moment. Spying the camera on her night stand, you told her to stay perfectly still so you could take her photo, throwing it back on the night stand to let it process.

“Can I fuck you?” you asked her, voice barely a whisper.

“Yes,” she whispered back.

Your lips crashed into hers, and it was like nothing had ever changed. To her, you were a stranger, but the passion you felt was the same. Your lips were meant to be pressed against hers, like two matching puzzle pieces. No one else felt like this. No one else would ever feel as right as this. You lifted her shirt and threw it to the ground, her breasts fully exposed and nipples hardening from the air. In one swift motion, you pulled down her sleep shorts, pleased to see she wasn’t wearing any underwear. 

You mouth immediately trailed down her neck and her chest and eventually ended on her tits, where your tongue grazed her nipples. Continuing further down, your tongue followed her stomach and belly button until you were down on your knees. You lifted one of her legs over your shoulder and dove into her cunt, already soaking from arousal. Her hands tangled in your hair, guiding you at a pace that worked for her. You had missed her taste, the way her soft cunt felt against your lips. She rode your face until you felt the shudder of her orgasm and her legs almost give out above you. You lifted her up and placed her on the edge of the bed, stripping out of your shirt and removing your trousers. She stared at your cock, eyes wide and questioning. You knew that look so well. “This is all yours, Angel,” you said. “I’ll make it fit.”

You placed your hands on the bed on both sides of her and kissed her again, guiding her on her back and spreading her legs with yours. You lined the head of your cock against her entrance and looked down at her. “Look in my eyes. I want to watch your face when you take my cock,” you ordered her. Her large brown eyes fell upon yours, anticipating both the pain and the pleasure the size of your cock would bring to her. You slid yourself inside of her, but it took some effort to push yourself all the way through. Her eyes wide, she cried out, never breaking eye contact with you. She bit her bottom lip to stifle her moans. Amira hadn’t been fucked in over two years, and to you, it basically felt like the first night you took her virginity. You knew it must have felt the same for her.

“Fuuuuck,” you whispered. “You make me feel so good,” you panted, lowering yourself down on your elbows so you could go as deep as possible. You didn’t bother being gentle or going slow. You had no self control with her. You felt her nails dig into your shoulder blades and push down, and you took that as encouragement to go faster.

“Do you like being fucked hard, Princess?” you asked in a husky whisper.

“I love it,” she whispered in your ear, as she gently bit down on your earlobe. “Oh fuuuck,” you said again. You felt her legs wrap around you, pulling you closer to her body. The only sound in the room were the wet slaps of your sexes slapping together, both of your heavy breathing and moans. You were face to face, noses almost touching. “I’m going to cum inside of you, Princess. Come with me. Look in my eyes when you come,” you ordered her. Amira bit her bottom lip and nodded. Her brows furrowed and her breathing became unsteady and in short spurts.

“I’m going to come,” she whispered. She moved her hands, one of them grabbing your hair at the back of your head, and the other hand lay flat on your chest. And just as you felt her pussy clenching around your cock and her moans in your ear, you gave in to your pleasure, squirting your warm seed far inside of her cunt, grinding your cock balls deep to feel her pussy in its entirety. Still enjoying the final throes of your orgasm, you placed your lips against hers and kissed her passionately. Deeply. You didn’t want this to be over.

You allowed yourself some time for the both of you to recover before you pulled out of her. Both of your sexes were covered in your come. You walked into the refresher to clean yourself off before you started to get dressed. Amira laid in bed watching you, but it didn’t take long before her eyes started to glaze over and for her to fall asleep. The loss of her consciousness suddenly made you feel so alone. You walked over to her and gently kissed her lips. You noticed the picture you took of her earlier was processed, so you took it with you.

 _The photo_  
  
“I love you,” you whispered. 

You turned off her light and walked out of her chambers and made your way into your son’s room. You thought you’d feel better watching him sleep, and him not having to see you, but it made your heart ache terribly. You felt the familiar tightening in your chest, and you had to turn away. But you hadn’t even taken 10 steps before you were busted by your mother. “What are you doing?”

You stopped cold in your tracks. You didn’t want to turn around and see the look on her face. You closed your eyes, trying to think of an excuse that would be worthy. But you didn’t have one.

“I don’t know,” you said, defeated.

“This wasn’t part of our agreement,” Leia said.

You turned around to face her wrath. To your surprise, she didn’t look angry. She looked … sad. “I know,” you said. “I can’t argue with you.”

“Will she remember this tomorrow?”

You shook your head. “No.” Sadly no, you thought.

“You can’t let this happen again,” she said. “You’re putting her and your son at risk by coming here.”

She was right. You nodded, and turned to walk away. “But I love her,” you said under your breath.

“I know,” Leia said, under hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I definitely missed the smut! But I had to do this delicately and in a unique way given Kylo and Amira's circumstances!


	27. An Addiction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amira is Kylo's drug of choice.

**KYLO**

Your mother’s words fell on deaf ears. You couldn’t stay away from Amira. She had become your drug, and you were addicted. And detox was nowhere in your near future. Much to the disapproval of your mother, you made frequent visits so you could watch over Amira, who had now resided on Coruscant. The planet was crawling with a large portion of undercover Resistance fighters. Always under the radar, you avoided suspicion from the Resistance and the First Order alike. As much as Hux knew, you were attending to Knights of Ren affairs. And to the Resistance, you were a mysterious ally of Leia. Most were familiar with your face by now, and any questions about your loyalties were laid to rest.

Over the last few weeks, you had studied the habits of Amira. Her favorite spots to frequent, where and when she took her evening walks, her favorite places to eat. Several times, you had planned and plotted your ways on how you would accidentally graze her arm in passing, or strike up a random conversation with her that didn’t seem staged. And after doing your homework, today was going to be the day you’d make official contact.

**AMIRA**

Your nanny was kind enough to relieve you from mom duties for the next few hours. You felt horribly guilty thinking it, but it was nice to have some time to yourself for awhile. A 2-year-old could wear anyone out, especially Altair. His energy and inquisitive nature must have definitely been something Ben passed on to him. You smiled as you sat in the booth of your favorite diner, a recommendation of Leia and one of the best-kept secrets in Coruscant, or at least you thought so. It was packed today, and you were lucky enough to find one of the last remaining booths.

Your chin in your hand, you stared out the window and into the horizon of endless buildings and floating transports.

“Do you mind if we share this booth? I’m starving, and I don’t feel like waiting for a table.” You looked up. An attractive man in black pants, boots and a fitted black shirt was looking down at you, pointing to the seat across from you. You knew him. He was the tall man that had been talking to Leia at her birthday gala. You’d also seen him around the Resistance base in D’Qar several times, and you could have sworn you bumped into him recently.

“I don’t mind,” you said. “Please, sit.”

“Thanks.” He sat down and unfolded the menu without looking at you.

You cleared your throat. “I’ve seen you around but we haven’t met ... I don’t think.”

The menu was still in front of his face. “Yeah, hi.” He didn’t look up.

Hmmm. This was getting awkward rather quickly. You remembered how you tried to introduce yourself to him at the gala, and he walked off rather briskly. And it was such a shame because he was extremely attractive. Tall, had a nice build, strong facial features and mysterious, sexy eyes. His deep, velvety voice topped it all off. Or was it his black wavy hair? Besides the gala, there was something so familiar about him. You couldn’t put your finger on it. Getting back to the subject, you figured you’d be the adult and introduce yourself first.

“I’m Amira.” He peeked over the menu to finally look at you. His eyebrow was raised and … was that a smirk on his face? 

“Hi Amira,” he said. The menu went back up, covering his face. His shoulders were shaking. Was he laughing at you? “Is that an Egyptian accent I hear?” he continued.

“Yeah. Good guess. I can’t seem to get rid of it,” you blushed.

“I’ve heard worse.” His face was still hidden by the menu.

“Anyway … your name?” you asked, your eyes wide in question.

He placed his menu and palms flat on the table, looked at you and inhaled deeply. “What do you want it to be?”

You laughed. Not out of discomfort, but because this was one of the strangest interactions you’ve ever had with someone, and you truly found this situation funny. His eyes changed, brightened, and you could tell he was trying hard to stifle a laugh.

“Why are you laughing?” he asked, clearly amused.

“Honestly? I’m not really sure, but thank you. I really needed a good laugh,” you said, still chuckling.

“Do you not laugh often?” he asked.

“As often as possible, I guess,” you shrugged.

The corners of his mouth began to turn up into a slight smile, but he didn’t quite get there before the server came to take your orders. He ordered food that could easily take care of three people, and you got a muffin and a coffee.

“I guess you were hungry,” you said, gesturing to his order after it was set down on the table.

“I guess you weren’t,” he said. “That is a very sad looking muffin, and it’s hurting my soul. Here, take one of my sandwiches. I think I ordered too much.”

You laughed. “Thanks. I just came here more for some alone time rather than to eat.” 

“Ooops. Sorry?” he said, making a sarcastic face of apology.

“Oh no, I didn’t mean it like that!” you said, laughing again. Wow, he had you laughing a lot. You felt like a giddy teenager talking to a crush. You had to get a hold of yourself before he thought of you as a giggling idiot. “I just meant that things can be pretty non-stop at home, and sometimes it’s good to get away.”

“What’s wrong at home?” he asked between bites of his sandwich.

“Nothing… nothing’s wrong. Just busy. I have a toddler that runs my life and has as much energy as 10 of these,” you held up your coffee cup.

“Ahhh,” he said. “Well, at least you have help.” He pointed to the ring on your finger and took another bite of his sandwich.

You smiled and twirled the diamond around your finger. “I .. I don’t have him around anymore,” you said, forcing an uncomfortable laugh.

“But you still wear it?” he said, mouth full.

You really didn’t want to get in the details of your situation and thought about how you could smoothly change the subject, but before you could do so, he quickly picked up on your discomfort and changed it for you.

“What are you doing after this?” He put his sandwich down and took a sip of his drink, making an obnoxious noise with his straw.

You raised your eyebrows and gave a half smile. “Going home. Relaxing.”

He nodded, slowly. “Mmm hmmm.”

“Mmm hmm what?” you asked.

“Nothing,” he said.

“What do you mean nothing? Are you judging me? Are you jealous of my super-exciting life?” you laughed. This man had made you laugh more in the last hour than you had in the last 2 years.

“Not judging,” he said. “I’m just trying to figure out your schedule so that when I ask if I could see you later, you won’t come up with a lie for an excuse.” 

“Oh, you’re very clever,” you said with a smile. “And why would I want to see a man who doesn’t even want to tell me his name?”

“I said it can be whatever you want it to be. Isn’t that more of a charming response?” He was holding back a laugh again, sucking in his cheeks to try and hide what would otherwise be a large smile.

“Fine. You win,” you said. “Do you know where the City Spire Tower is?”

“Mmm hmm.”

“Top floor.”

“Got it.” He left some money on the table. “This is on me since I took you and your booth hostage.”

You smiled. What the hell just happened? Were you actually flirting? Was he actually flirting? Did you just make plans with a complete stranger to come to your home later? You sure did.

_Amira at the diner_  


**KYLO**

What a rush. That couldn’t have gone any better. How you managed to have Amira under your spell so quickly, you had no idea. Maybe you truly were soulmates. No matter where you were in the galaxy, you’d always be a perfect match for each other. 

It took a lot of concentration on your part to not say something to give yourself away. You had to pretend like you didn’t know her. Ask all the right questions without giving up any information about yourself. All you wanted to do was go back in time. Not hide the man you are, love the woman she is, and take it from there. You wanted the freedom to kiss her lips without her wondering why a complete stranger had the nerve to plant his lips on hers. You were aching to call her Princess … Angel … but you held back. Instead, you had to charm her and use your wit to win her over for the time being, and she ate it all up. You read her thoughts as plain as day. She had let her guard down and was projecting all of her emotions. You were happy she took a liking to your company.

Guilt immediately took over the high that you felt. You shouldn’t be toying with her like this. You shouldn’t even be doing this to yourself. This was obviously something that couldn’t last. She was already aching from the loss of “Ben” and if you kept up with this charade, she’d end up hurting all over again because it couldn’t end how you wanted it to. 

But you didn’t want to let her go. Couldn’t let her go. The very thought of her sharing herself with another man infuriated you. You couldn’t even think about it without wanting to destroy something. It had to be you. But you couldn’t think that far ahead. You had to stay in the moment … that’s all you had. And you also had tonight.

_Kylo at the diner_


	28. What's in a name?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's in a name? We're sure to find out.

**AMIRA**

The clock just struck 8:30, and Altair had just been put to bed. You had no idea what time your sexy visitor was going to stop by, but you wanted to be ready by at least 9. You had second thoughts about having him over earlier, but you remembered he was friends with Leia. If he’s a trusted confidente of Leia, you had nothing to be afraid of. You sat on your couch and got lost in your thoughts.

_Waiting for the sexy stranger_  
  


_You were naked, standing before the towering, dark-haired man. He had on nothing but trousers. He leaned forward to kiss you, one hand on your hip and the other gathering your long, dark hair in his fist and pulling it back gently, forcing you to look him in the eyes._

_“On your knees,” he commanded. You lowered yourself on your knees, thankful for the plush white carpet. He unzipped his trousers and pulled out his cock. It was massive, and before you had much time to think about it, he shoved it into your mouth._

_“Suck,” he whispered, looking down at you. “That’s it. Good girl.” Your hair still gathered in his hand, he began pushing you further onto his dick. His need was turning you on, as you looked up into his eyes, he looked at you in appreciation. You grabbed his cock by the base and ran your tongue under his cock and around the tip of his dick, spreading his precum and your saliva around before taking his dick as far into your mouth as you could. You heard him hiss and suck in air between his teeth._

_“I need to be inside of you now,” he said. You stood up and backed toward the bed. “On your back and spread your legs,” he ordered. You did what you were told, and he nestled himself between you, throwing both of your legs over his shoulders. His face to yours, he kissed you deeply, looked into your eyes and whispered, “I love you, Princess.” You felt the tip of his cock press against your pussy, and …._

[knock knock]

You jolted awake on the couch. Wow, what was that? This man whom you’ve spoken to for a total of 45 minutes your entire life was just in an incredibly vivid sex dream of yours. A sex dream … which you never have. And why did it stop right when it started getting good? Oh, that’s right, because the man you just dreamed about fucking was right outside your door!

You stood up and straightened your dress and hair and walked to the door. You glanced at the clock. 9:45. You opened the door, and there your mystery man was in all his glory. Mr. Tall, Brooding, and Handsome.

“Hi,” you said. “Come in.”  
“Thanks.” He walked in and glanced around. “Is it just us?” He asked.

He doesn’t waste any time, you thought to yourself. “My son is asleep, so other than him it’s just us.”

“Good,” he said. He walked up to you, grabbed your chin gently and tilted it up and leaned down to kiss you. It caught you completely off guard, and you were a little self conscious. You can’t remember the last time you kissed someone. You can’t even remember kissing Ben. You hoped you weren’t clumsy and that you were doing it right. You clearly weren’t as experienced as this mysterious stranger in black.

He broke the kiss and kept his face close to yours, gently kissing your jawline and neck. “Tell me your name,” you whispered.

“What difference will it make if I do?” he whispered back, in between planting kisses down your neck.

Before you could answer him back, you cried out softly in surprise as you felt his hand slide up your dress and cup your sex. His fingers ran between your pussy lips and gathered the juices of your arousal. You were already wet from your dream earlier. “Mmmmmm,” he whispered in your ear. “You’re soaking.”

He brought his fingers to his lips and sucked off your juices, never breaking eye contact with you. He was incredibly sexy, and forward, and reckless, and unpredictable, but you just felt completely comfortable with him … this man, this complete stranger that you were about to fuck. And you didn’t even know his name. Maybe he was right. What did it matter at this point?

Your hands went to the bottom of his shirt and you lifted it over his head. His chest, arms and abs were perfectly sculpted in a muscular build. He wasn’t bulky .. in fact, he was lanky, but his build couldn’t have been more perfect. He must work out every day for hours on end. His lips crashed into yours again as he tugged at your dress and lifted it over your head. He stepped back to admire you. He bit his bottom lip and smirked. He took your hand in his. It was large and warm, and you liked how it fit.

“Where’s your bedroom?” He asked.

Without saying anything, you led the way, still holding his hand. He pulled off his trousers, and you couldn’t help but notice his cock was massive, just like in your dream. He got on the bed and laid on his back. He motioned for you to get on top of him. You straddled his hips, sitting on his length, which was now flat against his abdomen, and he pulled you toward him for another kiss. You felt his hands glide over your hips, and one of them graze your sex. His fingers gently circled your clit before placing a finger inside of you, and then another.

“Ride my cock,” he whispered in your ear. “I’ve been thinking of you riding my cock all afternoon.”

He grabbed the base of his dick and held it up for you, giving you time to position yourself above it. He didn’t wait for you to slide yourself down. He bucked his hips up and pushed your hips down, sheathing himself fully inside of you.

“Oh fuck,” you cried out. He didn’t give you any time to adjust yourself. He moaned loudly and bucked his hips underneath you, continuing to move in and out of you. You pressed your hands on his chest to try and steady yourself and slow his pace. You felt so full. You felt him with every movement you both made. “Sorry, I can’t help myself with you,” he said, slowing down. 

You bit down on your bottom lip to stifle your moans. As your body worked with you to accommodate him, you started moving your hips faster and grinding down on his thick shaft. He palmed your breasts, gently tugging on your nipples. He sat up, leaning slightly back on his palms, but close enough to where your faces were centimeters apart. You looked in his eyes, and you got a serious case of deja vu. His eyes were beautiful. Beautiful, brown, sad eyes that looked like they held so many secrets.

“You’re going to make me come,” you said breathlessly. You slid your pussy up and down his cock a few more times and then you released, letting out a series of curses and moans along the way. He wasn’t too far behind. He flipped you on your back and pounded into you before releasing his warm come deep inside your cunt. He cried out. “Fuuuuuck, Princess.” You wrapped your legs around his back, feeling every pulse of his cock inside you. He kissed your lips gently before he pulled out, and you felt his seed dripping from your pussy. 

**KYLO**

You laid down on the bed to catch your breath. The sheets were absolutely soaked from your perspiration, and your hair was damp and sweaty, sticking to your face. You didn’t want anything to take away from this moment right now. You were with Amira. You just fucked her and came. And you were feeling relaxed and at peace once more. You closed your eyes, but there was a lot of commotion on Amira’s side of the bed. You saw her get up, holding her bed sheet in front of her body.

“Who are you?” she looked at you accusingly. She turned on the light, making you squint.

“Not this game again,” you chuckled, your forearm covering your eyes.

“You called me Princess,” she said. “Not a lot of people know this about me. How did you know?”

Shit. Did you call her Princess? That was a slip you didn’t mean to make. You had to think of something believable. You didn’t want to keep manipulating her mind with the force. When you do that to someone so many times, it can cause permanent damage to the memories you didn’t want altered.

“Don’t think up an excuse,” she shouted. “I want the truth.”

Amira deserved the truth, but she couldn’t handle the truth. You sighed. “I should go.”

“Yes, you should,” she snapped. “I don’t ever want to see you again.”

Ouch. You had to fix this, and fast. You didn’t want her to hate you. You didn’t know what you wanted, or how this was going to last long-term, but you didn’t want this to end now. Not like this. You put on your pants and grabbed the back of your neck in deep thought.

“Amira … “ you started.

“GO!” she shouted. “Please go.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” you said.

“No shit. Like your name for one,” she said.

“I can’t tell you my name,” you said. “I have to protect you.”

She looked at you. “From what?”

“I can’t say.”

“Tell me your name,” she shouted. “At least give me that much.”

You sighed and walked up to her, grabbing her by the shoulders and bringing your face right in front of hers.

“Do you know me? Do you know who I am?” you asked her. You shook her by the shoulders when she didn’t answer. “Look at my face. Do you who I am?”

A few tears rolled down her cheeks. “You’re scaring me,” she said.

“You know my name,” you whispered, taking your hands off her shoulders and turning to put your shirt on. “You know me. You’ve always known.” 

She shook her head. “Tell me how,” she whispered, still crying.

“You loved me once.”

Her eyes narrowed, her brows furrowed, and it was then you saw the look of realization on her face. 

“Ben?”

_Kylo / Ben_   
  



	29. Lost and Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it you, Ben?

**KYLO**

It felt ... different hearing someone call you that name. She stood there, staring, eyes wide and in deep thought. You didn’t answer her, but you knew you didn’t have to. She walked over to you and placed her hand on your face, as if she was trying to see if you were real.

“I … I remember this face,” she said, running her thumb over your lips. “I remember your eyes,” her fingers traced your eyebrows and brow bone. “I remember loving you … I’ll never forget that,” she said. “I see it now … there’s so much of you in Altair,” a tear fell down her cheek. “He has your hair, your eyes, your lips … he’s taller than most boys his age,” she said.

She ran her hands through your hair and the side of your face and your jawline. All you could do was just stand there, looking at her, helpless.

“But … I can’t remember anything else,” she whispered. “How are you here? You’re supposed to be dead. Kylo Ren killed you. He stole everything from us.”

You shook your head. “Kylo Ren tried to kill me, but I’m still here.” What were you saying? Were you acknowledging that after all these years with the First Order, that Ben Solo had survived? “He couldn’t kill me,” you continued. “He tried and failed.”

“I don’t understand,” she said. “I was alone for two years. Why didn’t you come back to me? Why did you and Leia keep this a secret? I’ve been so alone. Two years .. you missed out on so much,” she held you, burying her tear-stained face in your shirt.

You held her close, your hand running through her long, dark locks. You felt so guilty. This wasn’t the homecoming you would have wanted for either of you.

“I stayed away from you because I didn’t want you or Altair to become a target,” you said. At least you were telling her part of the truth. “I’ve been living in hell without you.” That was 100% true. “I hated lying to you.” Also 100% true. You wrapped your arms around her and held her tight, burying your nose in her hair. “Do you know how hard it has been for me to not touch you the way I wanted to? The way we used to? To not hear you say you love me? I wanted everything the way it used to be so badly. But instead, I had to pretend I was a stranger just so I can see you and touch you.”

She put her arms around your shoulders, and you bent forward to give her easier access. She kissed you gently on the lips. “Can you stay with me? I don’t want you to go,” she said. “We have so much time we have to make up.”

You were silent. You knew you couldn’t stay. At least, not now. There was so much Amira didn’t know. So much you weren’t ready to tell and so much she wouldn’t be ready to hear or accept. Your mother would be so upset with you right now at blowing your cover. Acting completely foolish. It was your fault. 

“Please?” She had resorted to begging, taking your silence as an answer she didn’t want to hear. She pulled your neck down lower and pressed her cheek against yours.

“Angel, you have no idea how badly I want to stay with you. In a perfect universe, I’d never have to leave you. But … I can’t right now.” 

That killed you saying that to her. You hated seeing her hurting. You were starting to regret interfering in her life again. You thought back to Leia’s birthday gala and how happy Amira seemed without you in her life. You closed your eyes to hold back your anger with yourself, clenched your fists and sighed deeply.

“My priority is you and Altair. It always has been. It may not seem like it, but everything I do, everything I have ever done, I do with the both of you in mind. And that’s the honest truth.”

She looked at you with her big, brown eyes and long lashes and nodded. “I understand,” she whispered. 

It would take one minute, you thought, to wipe all these memories of today from her mind and once and for all just walk away from her. If you really wanted her to go on with her life and forget you and be happy, you could do that. But you were too selfish. You needed her in your life. You didn’t want anyone else to have her. You didn’t want anyone else raising your son. You didn’t want another man making her smile, making her laugh, or touching her body. 

Your hand caressed the side of her face, and you looked deeply into her eyes. You weren’t sure when you were going to be looking into them next. “I love you,” you said to her. She smiled. “I love you, Ben.” It sounded so natural, so natural even that you almost forgot that Ben wasn’t your name anymore. 

“I know he’s sleeping, but can I see him before I go?” you asked her.

She nodded and took your arm and led you to your sleeping son’s bedroom. The room was tidy and cozy and full of toys. Your son probably never wanted for anything, and you were thankful for the love and the life Amira had provided him so far. You looked down at him, watching his chest rise and fall, his lips parted ever so slightly. You could hear the sound of his breathing just barely. He was so small and fragile. So innocent. Amira was right. He had your wavy hair. You looked over at her and smiled before leaning in and giving your son a delicate kiss goobye on his forehead. 

After you had left Amira, you went straight to your TIE Silencer. You had to get back to The Finalizer. You had been gone too long, but before you did, you had to make one more stop. You had to see your mother. You had to let her know what happened and that Amira knew part of the truth … that Ben was alive. You were actually nervous about confronting her. It had been awhile before your mother, or anyone for that matter, had intimidated you. But you knew you messed up this time.

\-------------------------------------------------------

**AMIRA**

The smell of sex was still in the air and in the sheets as you laid in bed, restless, wondering why your life was so confusing. Part of you wanted to be angry with Ben and Leia for keeping this kind of secret from you. For letting you grieve day in and day out. For forcing you to raise your son without a father. For having you wonder every single day what type of man Ben was and how your life was before your memories had been forcibly taken by the First Order.

The other part of you was overjoyed. Ben wasn’t dead -- he was alive, and he came back to you. He had his reasons for being away, and that was for the safety of you and Altair, and you had to respect that he had put the both of you first.

You rolled on your side, still naked under the sheets. You smelled his pillow. It smelled just like him. You brought the pillow close to you and held it and closed your eyes, pretending it were him. Why couldn’t you recall any other memories from your time together? Your wedding day. The day you found out you were pregnant. Any precious moments you shared just talking. Why just his face? He felt so familiar to you, so comforting. The love you had for each other was palpable. At least you had that much.

Not being able to sleep, you decided to make yourself a cup of tea. You had been alone for so long. Whatever it was Ben had to do, you hoped he’d come back to you soon, and safe. Now that you had a taste, it was going to be a lot harder for you to go back to normal. 

_Tea Time_   


**KYLO**

As you sat on your bed on The Finalizer, the very bed you and Amira once shared and the same bed where you took her virginity, you gazed into darkness of space. You don’t remember how long you’d been sitting there, but you imagined it had been a while. The sound of your stomach interrupted your thoughts, reminding you that it had been awhile since you had last eaten. 

It didn’t feel right to be onboard the Finalizer. You felt like a lying traitor, no better than the traitors you’d been fighting against for the last several years. If anyone found out what you had been up to, there would be no forgiveness. If Supreme Leader Snoke ever decided to pry into your mind, deep into your thoughts, the shame would be too great to bear.

Your datapad chimed, and you slowly and reluctantly picked it up to read the message. It was from Hux. Your presence was requested on the bridge. You sighed, tossed the datapad back onto the bed, clipped your lightsaber on your belt, put on your helmet, and made the five minute journey to the bridge.

“Ren -- so nice of you to grace us with your presence. Did you and your knights enjoy your several weeks of vacation?” Hux grimaced.

You weren’t amused and opted to not dignify Hux’s comment with a snarky response. “Why am I here?” your reply was robotic, monotone.

“We have a lead,” Hux said. “Our intel is reporting an ancillary Resistance base on Coruscant, right in the Federal District.”

Your heart sunk into your chest and you clenched your fists. No. This couldn’t be. 

“You think the Resistance scum is stupid enough to house support in the heart of the Imperial Center?” you asked, bringing your mask really close to his face. “I don’t know who gave you this intel, General, but I’m not impressed. And neither would Supreme Leader Snoke. If you want to waste more of your time, I’ll leave that to you, but I would suggest you don’t waste mine.” You began to walk away. You had hoped that made a difference and that Hux would back off of Coruscant, at least for the time being.

“I’ve already spoken with the Supreme Leader, Ren.”

You stopped in your tracks, waiting for him to continue.

“I’ve already sent a Destroyer to orbit the planet, as well as a small fleet. They’ll be ready to conduct their search at my command. I’m giving them two weeks for recon before we take any action.”

“And the weapon?” You turned your head to the side so you could see him out of the corner of your eye. Thankfully, you weren’t able to see his smug grin from your angle.

“Only if Supreme Leader commands.”

You nodded. Shit.

“Will you be their Commander for this mission, Ren, or should I tell Supreme Leader Snoke you don’t want to waste your time?”

“I’ll send word to you when I land on Coruscant,” you said, walking away. You never walked so fast in your life. The crew members you passed in the corridors pressed themselves up against the walls to avoid you, and you were grateful for that. You needed to get off the Finalizer as quick as possible and get to Coruscant. You had to get Amira and Altair off the planet.


	30. The Dark Knight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He was tall, a hulking brute, a formidable figure. The descriptions of him didn’t do him justice. His mask, a symbol of darkness you had grown to hate, as the face behind it stood staring at you. He was frightening, and you couldn’t move … couldn’t speak."

**AMIRA**

You had purposely been keeping yourself busy over the last week so you wouldn’t have to think about your current predicament. That meant lots of outings with Altair, lots of shopping for clothing and household goods that you didn’t need, and plenty of trips to your favorite diner. You had secretly hoped Ben would surprise you and sit with you in your booth again, but he never came. And each time when you paid your bill, you felt sheepishly foolish for expecting him to be there.

This afternoon, you took Altair to the public fountain at the heart of the Federal District. Watching him play in the water and laugh without a care in the world was everything to you, and it was just what you needed to make yourself feel better. 

Over the last few days, though, you had noticed an ever-increasing amount of First Order Stormtroopers and dozens of First Order military ships in the sky and docked at hangers around the city. There was no mistaking that formidable logo plastered all over the ships. There were about a dozen of the Stormtroopers gathering by the fountain. Your senses told you that something was wrong, so you collected Altair -- much to his dismay -- and headed to the home of one of your closest allies in the city. But not before Altair gathered the attention of the Stormtroopers with his loud wails and screams. He was clearly not yet ready to leave the water fountain. You held him and soothed him, trying not to bring further attention to yourself, as you hastily made your way to your destination.

Enzo Kryell’s residence was well-hidden and in a location that no First Order member would think to look. You knocked on his door loudly, announcing yourself before he could even open the door. The door swung open quickly -- Enzo seemed like he was already expecting you. 

“Get in!” he pulled you inside, looking around behind you before closing the door. His place was small, dark, and filled with a collection of items that most people wouldn’t want in their home. But nonetheless, it was charming, and Enzo was a man you have come to trust these last few months.

“Are you looking to leave Coruscant?” he asked you, wide eyed.

You turned your head to the side, and shook your head. “No. Why? Should I be?” you asked. “I only came here because the First Order is everywhere, and I wanted to make sure we were still OK to stay here.”

“We don’t know why they are here, but General Organa has been informed. She suggests you and Altair and whatever remaining assets are left on Coruscant return to D’Qar. There’s not much left for us here if the First Order has caught on to us,” he said.

You swallowed hard, and your heart sank. You didn’t want to uproot Altair again. “Are you sure? They could be here for another reason.”

“I’m not sure,” Enzo said. “But I don’t want to stick around to find out.”

You sighed. “OK. I have to grab a few things for Altair and I, but I’ll be back as soon as I can. Can he stay with you until I come back?”

He looked nervous. “Yeah, sure, but I’m not really good with kids. I haven’t really been around them alone.”

You smiled reassuringly. “He’s had a long day. He’s actually about to conk out now -- look at his eyes. I’ll lay him down on your couch and get him settled. Then I’ll head back to grab my things, OK?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Sure. OK.”

\---------------------------------

You didn’t want to make an event out of this, so you grabbed your largest duffel and started stuffing your bags with clothes and other essential items. Your old quarters on D’Qar would have a lot of things you weren’t able to bring with you anyway. You grabbed a smaller duffel and packed some clothes for Altair, but filled it mostly with his toys. You didn’t want to answer to a two-year-old who didn’t have his favorite toys.

You made quick work and managed to pack everything you needed in less than 15 minutes. You took a deep breath, stretched and opened the sliding glass door to the veranda that overlooked much of the city. The usual drones had passed you by before you noticed several of them marked with the First Order’s symbol. Probably not a good idea to be out here, you thought, so you went back inside.

  
  


Wherever Ben was, you hoped he’d end up finding you. You decided to leave a short note, but before you could think of what to write, you heard a loud knock on your door.

Hmm, maybe Enzo decided to meet you at your place to save time. You walked up to the door and looked out of the peephole and gasped. Three Stormtroopers were outside of your door, blasters in hand. You placed your hand over your mouth and stood silently still, then backed away from the door with the lightest of steps. Maybe they’d assume you weren’t home. About 10 seconds passed before you heard the loud knock again. “By Order of the Republic, you will open this door,” said the robotic voice of one of the Stormtroopers.

You were frozen in fear. What should you do? Open the door and play dumb? Hide under the bed? This door was your only way out, and there had been three of them out there, waiting for you. Maybe you should just open the door. They wouldn’t know you anyway, and you have nothing incriminating in your home to tie you to the Resistance.

Before you could make that decision willingly, the door crashed open, followed by three towering Stormtroopers and a Deathtrooper you hadn’t seen until now. “Hands up,” they ordered you, pointing their blasters in your direction. You did as they said. What other choice did you have?

“What do you want?” you asked them. “I don’t have much for you to take other than girly stuff and children’s toys. You would probably fare better at another residence.”

“Shut up,” one of them said. He turned to the other Troopers and held up a photo of you. Where did he get that? You don’t remember taking it. Why do they have your photo? “That’s her.”

One of the StormTroopers nodded and approached you, looking you over from head to toe. “Inform General Hux that we have the Princess.”

“Yes sir.”

Oh no. What was happening? Why were they looking for you? Do they know Ben is alive? Are they going to try and question you to find his location? 

“Please, there’s some sort of mistake.” You stopped talking and followed your gaze to the Deathtrooper, who was now walking out of your bedroom and into Altair’s room. After a few moments, he walked back into the living area. “No sign of the child,” he said.

“What do you want?” you shouted.

“You’re coming with us, Princess.” The Stormtrooper roughly grabbed your arm, but you weren’t willing to go that easily. You had a lot of fight in you. You kicked him in the shins and made a run for your door, but another Stormtrooper grabbed your arm and pulled you backwards, and you fell backwards and onto your butt, hitting the back of your head on the carpet … hard. You swore you saw stars for a split second but managed to prop yourself up on your elbows. Your maxi dress had ridden up your thighs. Before you could pull your dress down, you heard a 5th voice.

“GET AWAY FROM HER!” The voice, deep and robotic, filled with such rage and fury, even through the modulator.

You looked up, and you’d be understating things if you said you were completely terrified. There he was. The man you had heard so much about. The Dark Knight. The Jedi Killer. The pure evil that had destroyed your life. But why did he appear to be calling off his dogs?

“Sir?” one of the Stormtroopers asked in question.

The Knight ignited his saber, and your eyes instantly focused on the red sparks flying unstably in different directions and to the legendary crossguard you had seen in propaganda photos. The Troopers raised their weapons at the Knight and fired their blasters, but the shots were deflected. Kylo Ren waved his hand in the air, and the blasters went flying out of the Troopers’ hands simultaneously, landing far from their reach. It was over before it began. A few swipes of the powerful red saber, the screams and cries of terrified grown men, and then utter silence.

You, still on the floor, looked at the carnage around you. Dead bodies, the smell of burned flesh and melted armor, and the man they called Kylo Ren just a few feet in front of you. Still propped up on your elbows on the floor, you screamed the loudest you had ever screamed in your life.

Your screams didn’t phase him. He turned off his saber and turned his gaze to you. He was tall, a hulking brute, a formidable figure. The descriptions of him didn’t do him justice. His mask, a symbol of darkness you had grown to hate, as the face behind it stood staring at you. He was frightening, and you couldn’t move … couldn’t speak. Maybe if you stayed extremely still, he’d just walk away.

“Get up,” he commanded, turning his back to you and clipping his lightsaber on his belt as he started to pace the room.

You did as you were told. Your chest rising and falling with the sharp intake of your breaths. Were you having an anxiety attack? You felt dizzy, like you were going to faint. His back was turned to you. You could probably make a run for the door and lose him. Ready? One… two… three...

“You can’t run from me,” he said, interrupting your thoughts, turning to look at you.

“I wasn’t…” you started to say. “QUIET!” he yelled and stalked toward you. He towered over you, looking down, while you craned your neck to look up. You were afraid that if you broke eye contact, he’d do something to hurt you.

“Where’s the boy?”

You stayed silent. 

“Where is he?” he demanded, lowering his gaze, his mask just a few inches from your face.

You wanted to cry, but your motherly instincts took over. You would never let the First Order lay a hand on your son. There was no way you’d ever let that happen.

“I’d rather die than tell you where he is you piece of shit,” you spit on the front of his robes.

He growled behind the mask and ignited his saber, holding it inches from your neck.

“I’m not playing games, Princess. Tell me where the boy is, and I’ll spare you.”

“Fuck you,” you said defiantly, staring into the slit of where his eyes would lay beneath the mask. You didn’t flinch, even though the scorching heat of the lightsaber was starting to become unbearable.

He screamed in rage, anger, and started violently thrashing around your living room with his lightsaber. Like a child throwing a temper tantrum. You had never seen anything like it. He was supposed to be an adult. A respected Commander within the First Order. Was this how he commanded respect? Was this his way of intimidating people? To others, it may have worked. But you were a mother of a 2 year old, and Kylo Ren’s behavior wasn’t too far off from one of Altair’s tantrums.

You tried not to flinch, as terrifying as this act was. If he wanted you dead, you would have been dead. But he obviously wanted your son, and you were the only one with the knowledge of his whereabouts. After Kylo Ren finished trashing your living room and destroying almost everything in it, he turned to you again, deactivating his saber and clipping it on his belt.

“Let’s try this a different way,” he said. “This planet is about to suffer the same fate as the Hosnian system. You and your son need to get off this planet … now.” You heard the sound of leather as he clenched his fists.

Why was he telling you this. Wasn’t he going to torture you to get your son’s whereabouts? Since when did Kylo Ren care that you and your son lived? And why was Kylo Ren appearing to … help you? You thought back to a few moments ago. The man killed four of his own. Was it for you?

“I don’t understand,” you said.

“There’s no time to figure this out now,” he said. “Get your son, and get off of this planet. Now. There’s no time.”

“Why are you helping me?”

“GO!” he yelled.

“Is this a trick? Are you going to follow me?”

“NOW!” he yelled again.

You jumped. You grabbed your bags and ran out, praying to yourself that you weren’t being followed.

_Goodbye, Coruscant. Amira leaving undercover._  
  


**KYLO**

You looked around, inspecting the damage you had done to Amira’s home. You had no choice. You had to scare her. Scare her enough to leave the planet. You cursed at the dead bodies at your feet. Innocent lives lost. You hadn’t meant to kill them, but there was no other way. They would have taken Amira back to the Finalizer, and she would have been killed for aligning herself with the Resistance and not giving up the location of your son.

You heard static from one of the Stormtrooper's coms and picked it up. The person on the other end of the line was asking for clarification of a recent message. “This is Commander Ren. I see no sign of the Resistance anywhere on this planet. Tell Hux he has wasted my time.”

You hoped beyond all hope Hux would take you at your word and back down, at least long enough so Amira and Altair could make it back to D’Qar safely.

  
  



	31. From Ben to Ren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Kylo's big secret out?

**AMIRA**

You had never run so fast in your life. Your mind was racing at the same speed as your legs. Kylo Ren, the Commander of the First Order, the very man who had attempted to kill your husband, and the same man that had wiped your memories clean of him, had saved your life. And he killed his own men to do so. But why? Why were First Order Stormtroopers looking for your son? How did they find you? Was Ben alive? Was he safe? You had no answers, but you were thankful the Commander spared your life. 

You didn’t bother knocking on Enzo’s door. You leaned into it with your shoulder, swinging it open like a wild woman. Altair appeared to still be asleep on the couch, but Enzo stared at you wide eyed in understanding. “We have to go. Now.” He nodded, threw a bag over his shoulder, and cradled Altair in his arms. “Follow me to the ship,” he said.

\---------------------------------------------

You met with Leia the moment you landed, handing a still sleepy Altair off to one of the nannies who had worked for you previously on D’Qar. While Leia had already been made aware of Ben’s visit to you, she seemed to surprised to hear you had been visited by the Commander himself. She had you recall the events several times in case your memory could pull out additional information you hadn’t remembered previously. She embraced you the final time you told your story. You were emotional and full to the brim with anxiety, and that didn’t go unnoticed with the General.

“I’m glad you’re both here and safe, and thanks for telling us everything you know. Now, go rest and make sure Altair’s alright. This is a lot of movement for a child his age. I’ll stop by later tonight to check on you both and let you know if there are any updates.” You nodded and treaded back to your old apartment. 

Not a thing had changed. Everything was just how you left it, and pristine as well. The housekeeping staff still noticeably tended to each room like you were still living there. You let out a loud sigh, attempting to find a moment of respite. “In here, Miss,” you heard your nanny call from Altair’s bedroom. You walked down the hall and stood in the doorframe to his room, where he sat on the floor playing with toys he hadn’t seen in months. To your relief, he couldn’t have looked happier. The nanny was on the floor with him, keeping a tender watch. “Is he doing ok?” you asked her. “He’s fine,” she smiled, looking at him. You nodded and sighed in relief. “I am going to get some rest. Can you stay with him for awhile?” 

“Of course, Amira. Take all the time you need. We’ll be around. If you’re not up by dinnertime, I’ll take care of him.” She smiled, giving you the reassurance you needed that Altair was in safe hands. You thanked her and bent down and kissed Altair’s cheek, told him you loved him, and went into your chambers. Stripping off your clothes immediately, you went into the refresher to shower, washing away all the stress, sweat and tears from the day. You toweled yourself off, slipped a tank top and panties, and fell onto your bed. You were too drained to do anything else. Your mind started to process the events from today, but fortunately, it didn’t get far before sleep claimed you.

You woke up feeling warm and comfortable. Snug, even. You were tucked under the blankets. You don’t remember going under them. Eyes still closed and laying on your side you stretched your arms out in front of you but were met with something hard and warm. Opening your eyes immediately, you saw Ben laying in the bed beside you, sound asleep. He had no shirt on and black sleep pants and one armed tucked under his pillow. You smiled to yourself, reaching out to cup his cheek gently. You placed a light kiss on his cheek. He found you. He was safe. Ben stirred, breathed in deeply and slowly opened his eyes. “Hi,” you smiled. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

He smiled back. “I’m glad you did,” he pulled you close, tucking your body against his as he buried his face in your hair.

“How did you know we were here?” you asked him.

“I’ve been keeping my eye out on the both of you since I realized the First Order was swarming the city,” he said.

You shook your head slowly. “That was dangerous. You could have been found and killed,” you told him. As if he didn’t know.

“I’ve become more resourceful than you think,” he said, smirking. He pulled you close until your noses were barely touching. You stayed like that for a moment, until you were forced to ask the inevitable.

“How long do we have this time?” you whispered.

He sighed. “Let’s not waste the time we have talking about when I have to leave,” he said. He pressed his soft lips against yours and ran his hand under your tank top, cupping your breasts. You let out a soft moan against his lips. He kicked the blankets off the bed, and you felt the cool rush of air on your body. His large hand lifted your tank over your head, and he discarded it on the floor. He slid his hand down your belly and beneath your panties, cupping your sex. You spread your legs for him in need and anticipation.

“Already dripping,” he whispered into your mouth. He ran a finger along your swollen nub in small circles before inserting a long digit inside your sex. You groaned into the kiss, which seemed to encourage him. He slid himself down your body, spreading your thighs wider with his hands. His finger was still moving in and out of you, and you felt his breath up against your clit, then his soft and warm tongue against it. You cried out just as he entered a second digit inside your pussy.

“I’ll never get over how sweet this pretty little cunt tastes,” he whispered into your pussy. “How tight it feels on my fingers…” He dove into your pussy again, lapping at your clit feverishly. The pressure of his tongue and the fullness you felt with his two fingers inside of you pushed you over the edge. You cried out his name, “Ben … fuck …. yes,” you managed to get out, as you came on his fingers. “Right there,” as you rocked your hips against his lips.

He waited for your orgasm to finish and your legs to stop shaking before he removed his fingers and pulled off his black sleep pants. His cock sprung free, and you rubbed your legs together for more friction against your clit. You couldn’t wait to have him inside you again. He positioned your legs over his shoulders and drove into you. The sudden feeling of him all the way inside you made you cry out as your pussy stretched to accommodate his size. He let out a loud hiss and stayed completely sheathed in you for just a moment before he started pounding into you, hard and fast. He was not being gentle with you. His need was primal. “You turn me into an animal, my angel,” he whispered into your neck. “I can’t control it.”

“Then don’t,” you whispered in his ear. You wrapped your arms around his body, pulling him as close to you as possible. You needed to come again, and quickly, and so did he. With everything going on, you needed this short-lived relief and comfort. You felt him pick up the pace, and you whispered in his ear. “Come inside of me, baby. I want to feel your warm come inside of me.” 

“Yes,” he whispered. “I’ll come for you my dirty girl.”

You were right on the edge of coming and doing your best to hold it in until you felt him release. Thankfully, you didn’t have to wait long. Both of you moaning in unison, you felt his cock pulsate inside of you followed by the warmth of his semen. After a few more short and hard pumps, he pulled himself out and lay on top of you, being careful not to put his full weight on your body. He rested his head between your breasts, and you ran a hand through his now sweaty, black locks. “I love you,” you told him. You kissed the top of his head. “I love you, angel,” he said, still catching his breath.

With a playful grunt, he rolled over on his side, kiss your cheek and closed his eyes. You weren’t as tired as he appeared to be, but you laid with him until he fell asleep. You got up to take another shower, washing your shared juices and saliva off your body, got dressed and looked around your chambers. Ben had placed his clothes and a bag against the wall, next to your chair. You picked up his sleep pants that he was wearing previously and folded them, placing them on top of your chair. You decided to pick up the rest of his clothes, moving them off the floor and onto your chair, but something fell to the floor with a heavy thud during the process.

Squinting in the dark, you picked up the object that fell. It was heavy, metallic … cold. You held it up and brought it close to your face to get a better look. You yelped and dropped it onto the chair after you realized what it was. No. It couldn’t be. That’s a lightsaber with a crossguard. The very lightsaber that belongs to Kylo Ren. There was no mistaking it. There was no other lightsaber that was built like this. What was Ben doing with it? 

You thought the complete worst, and the saddest part of all … was that you knew in your heart of hearts that you were probably right. All this time, you were being toyed with. Was your Ben the Commander? Was he Kylo Ren? In a very sick and twisted way, it would have made sense logically. You needed answers, but you weren’t about to ask “Ben” … he obviously had a problem telling the truth. You told him you loved him. You let him fuck you repeatedly.

Your hands started to shake and you let out a sob. You put your hand over your mouth to muffle the sounds. You felt like you were going to vomit. You felt faint. You wanted to die. In fact, you felt every negative feeling a human being could feel all at once. You turned around, and “Ben” was fast asleep. He looked so angelic. How ironic.


	32. Now You Know

**AMIRA**

The Commander of the First Order’s lightsaber, the lightsaber that was responsible for the deaths of so many souls, was now in your very bedroom. And the man that wielded it, you were absolutely certain, was laying in your bed fast asleep. A man that called himself your husband and you, his wife. Oh, how your heart ached so badly. You felt an incredible amount of pain and sorrow more so than the fear you should have been feeling. 

With one hand still over your mouth, you tip-toed across the room to your bedroom door and placed a hand on the knob. You closed your eyes and held your breath and slowly turned it, praying to anything and anyone out there that it wouldn’t make a sound … that Kylo or Ben or whoever he happened to be today … wouldn’t wake up. Fortunately, the door swung opened quietly. You took a deep breath and made your way toward Altair’s bedroom.

Before you made it two steps out of your doorway, you felt a hand grab your wrist … hard … and pull you back into your bedroom. You turned to face him, trying to pull your wrist back into yourself, but it was useless. He was much too strong. He didn’t say anything at first … he just stared into your eyes, which seemed to be attempting to pierce into your very soul. You tried to pull your wrist from his grasp again. His teeth clenched. “Don’t,” he said calmly.

“Let me go,” you replied, surprised that you were keeping a calm demeanor as well. “Please.”

“I can’t,” he said. You don’t know exactly what he meant by that, but all you know is he was telling the truth. You could see it in his eyes. Nothing but pain. Regret. Sorrow. Sadness. “I can’t,” he repeated again, softer.

No. Now was not the time to feel sorry for this man. “You’re hurting me,” you said. He loosened his grip immediately, but he didn’t let go.

“You lied to me,” you accused. “Over and over again, you lied.”

He stared at you, saying nothing. He couldn’t deny your accusations.

You continued. “Are you him?”

He blinked, as if a single blink would buy him more time before he had to answer.

“What if I was?” he said.

“You’ve completely fucked with my head. You’re a monster, and you’ve completely fucked up my life. I hate you.” Tears rolled down your face like a river.

What you said seemed to really have an effect on him. His lips parted, his eyes grew wide and watery. This man looked … broken. Was this the almighty Kylo Ren? The Jedi Killer? This pathetic man that was standing before you nearly in tears … a man who was seemingly begging for your understanding and love. How could someone so evil be so sorry?

“I’m not a monster anymore,” he pleaded. “You changed me. Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for you because I fell in love with you.”

You shook your head and shouted. “Stop..!” 

His loose grip was enough for you to pull your wrist away and turn and run down the hall to Altair’s room. He didn’t chase you. You found Altair’s room empty. He must have been at dinner. You were thankful for that. You listened for footsteps and heard none, relieved that Kylo didn’t follow you, but you heard movement in your bedroom. You thought about running as fast as you could past the bedroom and screaming to the high galaxy for help. But you thought about all the suffering you’ve been through. The blank spaces you’ve been eagerly trying to fill in and recall. The times when you missed your husband incredibly, a husband you knew nothing of but only in stories shared by his own mother. You needed to hear it from him. Everything. He needed to fill in your blanks. And if he was as sorry as he said he was, he would finally tell the truth.

You walked back toward your bedroom slowly. You felt no fear. Somehow, you knew he wouldn’t hurt you. You stood in the doorway, but you weren’t prepared for what you saw. He had gotten dressed, out of his black sweatpants, and into the outfit you’ve seen in so many propaganda holos. You were staring at Kylo Ren. The only thing missing from his attire was his mask. He clipped his lightsaber to his belt and looked at you, and you could have sworn he gave you a look of shame. 

He broke eye contact and looked past you in the doorway. You turned around to see what caught his stare. Leia. You felt relieved to see her here. You were no longer having this experience alone. But Leia had a lot of explaining to do.

“Amira,” Leia acknowledged you solemnly. She walked past you into the bedroom, not breaking eye contact with Kylo. “Can you give us a few minutes, Amira? I need to talk to my son.”

You nodded and left them alone. As much as you’d love to stay for their exchange, as much as you felt you had every right to be in that room, you had to give Leia the respect she deserved. Kylo, or Ben, was her son after all. And it seems like she had to deal with this pain for far longer than you. You sat in the kitchen and buried your head in your hands and cried.

**KYLO (20 minutes earlier)**

You heard Amira turn the shower off. Your eyes didn’t need to open to let you know she was rustling around and getting dressed. It had been awhile since you were in an actual bed. Days even, and the rest you were getting right now had never felt so good, especially after the sex you just had. You opened your eyes to see where Amira was in your bedroom, but you had opened them a little too late. There she stood in the corner of the bedroom, your lightsaber in your hand. You couldn’t see her facial expression … just the back of her. But you could only imagine the look on her face. She dropped your lightsaber with a thud.

FUCK. You were frozen stiff. You were caught. The game was over. There was no explaining your way out of this, nor did you want to have to. The shindig was over, and it was time to tell Amira the truth. Although you had hoped it wouldn’t be this soon. You weren’t quite ready. You closed your eyes and pretended to be asleep. Maybe this is all a bad dream. You’ll wake up, she’ll be beside you with that beautiful smile on her face. In a perfect world, you’d be her angelic Ben Solo once again. Please, Maker, let that be the way of it.

You heard her soft footsteps padding across the carpet to the door. You couldn’t let her leave without an explanation. Before she made her way out, you bolted out of bed and snatched her wrist in desperation. Panic! She let out a yelp, and it tugged at your heart. The look in her eyes was no longer tender and loving. She was afraid, angry, repulsed you were even in her presence. She looked like she was about to scream. “Don’t,” you pleaded, before she could do so.

“Let me go,” she said sternly, struggling to break from your grasp. “Please.” 

You didn’t want to let her go. You couldn’t. You loved her. And Amira loved you … she loved the man you were when you were with her, and that’s a good man. You’ve finally become someone you could live with and accept.

“I can’t.” You thought about maybe letting her go, but only for a second. She would be happier. She deserves the best life possible. But you could give her that kind of life, right? If she let you. If you changed. Can you change? “I can’t,” you said again, closer to a whisper.

Struggling to get out of your grasp again, she whimpered. “You’re hurting me.” Fuck. You didn’t mean to grab her so hard. You just didn’t want her to walk away. You relieved some of the pressure on her wrist but you were determined to keep her by your side.

Amira began her verbal assault. She called you out for lying to her repeatedly. You’ve never felt like such a failure. This was a worse feeling than undermining the First Order for the last two years.

“Are you him?” her question broke your thoughts.

You couldn’t say yes. It pained you to say yes. Instead, you answered indirectly… with a question. “What if I was?”

Her verbal assault continued, and so did her tears. 

“You’ve completely fucked with my head. You’re a monster, and you’ve completely fucked up my life. I hate you.” 

She might as well have just stabbed you in the chest with your own lightsaber. Your stomach was in knots, and you swallowed the feeling of incoming tears. The all too familiar feeling of hiding it all inside...suppressing all the pain. You had become a master at it.

“I’m not a monster anymore,” you told her, as if there were any hope that she’d believe it. “You changed me. Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for you because I fell in love with you.” Of course she wouldn’t believe you. 98% of the memories you shared together, she wasn’t able to remember. Because of you.

“Stop!” she shouted, shaking her head.

You had become distracted, barely hanging on to her anymore. In that moment, she broke away from you and ran down the hall in the direction of your son’s room. You decided to let her go to her son. 

Feeling vulnerable in nothing but sweat pants on the Resistance Base, you changed into your clothes. You inspected your lightsaber for any abnormalities since Amira had been the first person to touch it in a very long time. Everything looked fine. You clipped your lightsaber back onto your belt, and felt her eyes burning a hole in your back. Leaving your mask in your bag, you turned around. What was the point anyway anymore? You looked at her. It felt odd for someone other than Supreme Leader, Hux, Phasma and even Gyda look upon you in your uniform without the mask. You felt vulnerable. You could no longer hide. 

Movement in back of Amira caught your eye. Your mother.

“Amira,” she said, obviously in an effort to comfort Amira and let her know that she’d be more secure now that she was present. Your mother did not look happy with you. At the situation. You fucked up.

“Can you give us a few minutes, Amira? I need to talk to my son.”

Amira nodded and left. You hoped this wasn’t the last time you’d be seeing her. All of a sudden, you were face to face with your mother. Alone. She stood there saying nothing, which was worse than her saying something. The look on her face struck something deep inside of you. Although she looked sad and defeated, you could tell she still loved you. And even though you had failed in so many ways, no matter what side you had been on, she still loved you and accepted you. Your mother’s love. You had been without it for so long, and this time, you realized how much you needed it. You got down on your knees in front of her, bowed your head in submission, and cried.


	33. Her Fate, His Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's more to the Jedi Killer than meets the eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for not updating in awhile. I’ve become THAT person -- that person who writes something and keeps people hanging for FAR too long. So I’m truly sorry. Work has been a pain, and I’ve been dealing with serious anxiety issues, which makes me just want to sleep all the time instead of deal with reality. Anyway, I’m reinvigorated after watching The Last Jedi and reading a ton of amazing fanfics on here. So, back to it I go!

**AMIRA**

You went to your son’s room with a heavy heart and sat on the foot of his bed. Your breaths were slow and shallow. You were in too much shock to cry. The reality was slowly setting in. Your long lost husband, the man you tried wholeheartedly to remember for the last few years, was the same man you had grown to hate. Kylo Ren. The Jedi Killer. The most ruthless man in the galaxy. The man who worked endlessly to claim the universe as his own at the expense of innocents. Resistance members who were loyal to the cause. Men. Women. Children.

You sank forward onto the bed and hugged Altair’s feet over his blankets. Slowly now, the tears began to stream from your eyes and into the material of your son’s soft blanket. You sniffed quietly, not wanting to wake your sleeping child. His soft breaths were the only thing keeping you grounded. You watched the steady rise and fall of his chest and were thankful for the peace he was feeling at this exact moment.

How were you going to tell your son that his father was The Commander of the First Order? Someday, you’d have to tell him the truth. But you didn’t even want to think that far ahead now. Your heart broke for him. As sad as it was, it would have been a better story to tell your son that his father was a brave resistance member who had fought valiantly to the very end, giving his life for his family and the cause. Why couldn’t that just be the way of it?

You jerked your head up at the sounds of footsteps in the hallway. Leia stood in the doorway, still looking as solemn as ever. “He wants to see you before he leaves,” Leia said.

Did you want to see him? Was it worth the pain at this point? Maybe you did. You still felt no closure, and for you to put all of this behind you, you were going to need it. 

Leia sensed your hesitation. “If you don’t want to see him, I can tell him to go.” Her eyes were red. You could tell she had been holding in a waterfall of tears.

You nodded. Without a word, you stood up and walked back to the bedroom where Kylo Ren stood in his robes at the foot of the bed you shared not too long ago. He eyed you wearily. Unlike Leia, he had obviously been crying. His eyes and nose were red and his cheeks were stained with dried tears. You stood across from each other on opposite sides of the room for what seemed like forever. His baritone voice broke the silence, making you jump slightly.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me,” he said, eyes trained at the floor in front of his feet. “But I wanted to show you the memories I took from you.” He looked in your eyes, pausing for a moment. “Will you let me show you?” he said, lips quivering.

You stared at him, wanting to hate him completely. But this man was clearly broken, and there was nothing you could do to break him further. He had done it to himself, and it was punishment enough.

“Okay,” you said, voice barely a whisper.

He walked toward you slowly and methodically, as if he were afraid to startle you if he moved any faster. He reached his gloved hand close to your temple. You jerked your head back on instinct, and he withdrew his hand quickly, back to his side.

Your eyes met again, yours in question and his in desperation. “Please,” he said, barely audible. You nodded. “This may hurt a little, but you’ll have all of your answers,” he whispered.

His gloved hand came up again, but this time you stayed still, your eyes never leaving his. You felt a sharp jolt of pain in your temples, and your eyesight left you and everything immediately went black. Then it began. The flashes of the last few years of your life. 

Your home in Egypt. Your father and Kylo’s Command Shuttle that you called the Black Falcon. Your first introduction to General Hux and Kylo Ren in your father’s War Room. The very first time Kylo took your virginity and you felt his spend inside of you for the first time, and when he made love to you gently the following night. The ring he placed on your hand the morning after, and the many weeks you had missed him dearly when he went on a mission.

You remembered the moment you found out you were pregnant. Gyda’s tenderness when you dealt with your first few weeks of pregnancy without your husband. The warmth and love you felt when you made love countless times with his baby inside of you. When he saved you after being kidnapped from the Guavian Death Gang. When you found out the sex of your baby. The way you stroked the braids in his hair. The many months you spent together at his grandmother’s retreat, making love endlessly, and those final weeks when he seemed to grow distant.

Your secret meeting with Leia before you decided to leave Kylo without a single goodbye, and the note you left him telling him you were sorry. Giving birth to your son without your husband by your side. You cradling your son while walking to meet Kylo outside of his Command Shuttle. Him refusing to hold his son because he felt he wasn’t good enough. And most painfully, the last words you heard Kylo say to you before he wiped your memory clean: 

_ “You will forget me and everything we have shared together since the first time I met you in Egypt. When I finish talking, you’re going to return to your transport shuttle and forget about this meeting. The father of your son is Ben Solo. He’s dead. He was murdered by Kylo Ren.” _

His hand left your temple just as fast as it had been laid against it. You gasped and covered your mouth, tears blurring your vision of the man in black standing in front of you. Everything came flooding back. Too many emotions at once, and your mind and soul couldn’t keep up with you. Hands over your mouth still, you let out of a few sobs. You loved him. You were in complete love with him. If he didn’t wipe your memory, you would never have stopped. But he took that choice away from you. How could he? 

Reading your memory, he answered you. “Please understand why I did what I did,” he said somberly. “I thought you’d be better off without me … and you were.” 

He bit the inside of his cheek and turned away before looking in your eyes again. “But I failed you, Angel. I failed you because I couldn’t stay away from you. And for that, I’m sorry. But I’ll never be sorry for loving you.”

The realization hit you… as hard as your life was these last few years, the world he was living in was equally as painful. Perhaps more painful than yours. Sure, you had to live with the fact that your husband, Ben Solo, was dead. But here was Kylo, living in a world where he knew you were alive and well. Every day. For years.

He reached his hand under your chin and lifted your face toward his. You were a mess of tears, but you couldn’t have looked more beautiful to him. You missed his touch and his soft brown eyes. His overly large body curling in around yours as you lay in bed during the chilly nights on the Finalizer. His full, soft lips tracing your neck and shoulders every morning when he woke up.

His thumb grazed your bottom lip, and for a moment, it looked like he was contemplating kissing you. But before he could decide, you made the first move instead, and you brought your lips to his in the most passionate kiss you had ever shared in the history of knowing each other. You could have kept your lips locked like this for forever, but you knew it was time. If you wanted a better life for your son, which was undoubtedly the most important thing to the both of you right now, you had to let Kylo go. There was no future for Altair in the First Order. Not a safe and healthy one, anyway.

When the kiss ended, his hand was still on the side of your cheek. His thumb gently caressed the remaining tears from under your eyes. “I love you, Angel.”

You closed your eyes, turning into his hand. You wanted to remember this touch for the rest of your life. And now, all you could do was savor it. “I love you …. Kylo.”

His eyes closed and he pressed his forehead against yours. He drew out a deep breath. You weren’t sure if it was a sign of relief or a sigh of despair. You felt his warm, minty breath against your skin. And then his touch was gone.

“I can erase all of this again,” he said softly. “You’ll never have to know any of this pain. I can make it all go away, just like before. ”

You shook your head. “I never want to forget you.”

He nodded, and for a moment, you thought maybe you could see a glimmer of hope in his eyes. Kylo reached for his helmet that still laid at rest on the bed and placed it on his head. You heard the locks click in place. You stared at each other for one final moment before he turned and walked out the door.

**KYLO**

You felt a big burden being lifted from your shoulders. You were thankful for the mask being on your face. You hated showcasing any kind of emotion. You were almost out the door before you heard your mother calling you.

“Ben,” she said softly.

You turned around to face her, surprised at how natural it was to acknowledge being called by your birth name.

“Yes?” you said to her.

She let out a long sigh. “Be careful, and may the Force be with you.”

You smirked beneath your helmet, and nodded. There were only two people in the galaxy who were aware of the next step in your plan. And that was you and your mother. And you knew with all certainty that you were not going to fail.

“Always,” you said.


	34. Another Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo has done it again.

**AMIRA**

It had been several weeks since you and Kylo had exchanged your final goodbyes. His absence and your loneliness were painful, but what hurt even more was the fact that life had to go on … and it did. After several long talks with Leia, you had made the decision to head back to Egypt and out of the Resistance’s care. You knew in your heart of hearts that no matter where you ended up, Kylo would never let anything happen to you and Altair. Leia also shared the same sentiment but had warned you that sometimes there were things that not even the Commander of the First Order could control. But you knew Kylo would never let you down.

Despite your loneliness, it was good to be back on your home turf. Altair had adapted more than well to Egypt and inside the palace walls. He was young enough to not let these types of changes really affect him. It would have been a lot harder if he were old enough and had to leave behind many friends. 

You walked to your window and balcony, closing your eyes as the warm desert sun started to rise and a comfortable breeze blew around you, lifting the hair around your neck and shoulders. You chose to wear your yellow dress, the color of positivity, and hope, and happiness. You needed that energy more than anything right now. 

Looking in the distance, you saw the area where the First Order would typically land their ships to mine was completely empty, and in the few weeks you had been back to Egypt, there had been no visits. You wondered when they’d be making their appearance again, and if Kylo would show up the next time around.

Did you even want him to show up? Would it be too painful to see him? What if he already moved on and has taken a new wife? The very thought pained you to your very core. You imagined him whispering the things he once said to you in another woman’s ear. Calling her his Angel. Spilling his seed inside of her and cuddling with her throughout the night. You brought your fist down against the railing of the balcony...hard. Ouch. That had really hurt your hand, but you’re glad it did. You’d rather have actual pain to focus on rather than the pain in your heart and soul. This was for Altair, you reminded yourself. His future is more important. You had to remember that. You closed your eyes and willed your tears away and took a deep breath.

Suddenly, you felt a wave of nausea that disrupted your thoughts as well as your balance. Covering your mouth, you ran to your personal bathroom and almost didn’t make it before you released last night’s dinner into the toilet. You were expecting to find instant relief, but the nausea didn’t seem to pass. You stayed on your knees and waited for the nausea to pass, knowing you’d likely get sick again if you’d try to stand up.

“Princess Amira, are you alright?” A voice came from the doorway to your bathroom. One of your newest handmaidens. She looked panicked, like she was going to get into trouble because you happened to be sick on her watch.

You waved her off. “I’m fine, really. I think something didn’t agree with me last night, that’s all. Please get me a glass of water and prepare my bath.”

She bowed. “Yes, Princess.”

**KYLO**

You had been furious at your mother for allowing Amira to head back to Egypt. You even contemplated going to Egypt and dragging Amira back to the Resistance base, but you knew your efforts would be futile. Your mother reminded you of Amira’s strong will and persistence, which is why she ended up winning the argument to head back to Egypt in the first place.

You took a deep breath as you sat in your meditation chamber. It had taken a lot out of you to mask your thoughts from Snoke these last few weeks. You even surprised yourself that you made it this far. You were certain he’d find something out by now and that you would have been punished, perhaps even killed, for your treason. If he knew the extent of what you had planned, you’d be dead in an instant. And so would your mother, Amira and your son, as well as the entire Resistance. You had to continue to keep your strength and thoughts in check and continue to manipulate Snoke.

You knew you had to bring Hux into this plan, but you had to wait until the very last minute. Hux for sure wouldn’t be able to keep Snoke’s prying mind out of his own. He just wasn’t strong enough, nor was he trained to do so. Your plans would be absolutely foiled. You still weren’t entirely sure Hux would be on board with your plans. You were going on nothing but hope that he’d be compliant. Afterall, you knew for the last several months that he had been frustrated with Snoke and the way he’d been treated. Ever since the destruction of Starkiller base, Snoke had treated Hux like a redheaded stepchild, no pun intended. And although Snoke had punished you as well for the massive failure, he inevitably placed all of the responsibility on Hux, the General of the First Order. His attention to Hux had been your saving grace. Day in and day out, Hux’s disdain for Snoke had been palpable … even surpassing his disdain for you. It felt at times Hux would want to open up to you about Snoke and his ruthlessness, but he would always stop himself at the last second.

But you knew today would be the day, and you couldn’t hold out on your plans any longer. You had sent communication to your mother, transmitting the code phrase you both agreed on before you left her several weeks ago: “Never tell me the odds.” You chuckled to yourself thinking about it. That had been one of your father’s favorite things to say, and now more than ever, it couldn’t be more fitting for your current situation.

A beeping alerted you to a presence outside of your door. Hux. You slid open the blast door and met him in your sitting area. “Hux,” you acknowledged him as he eyed you wearily.

“What’s this about, Ren.” He seemed anxious. You had never personally requested that he come by your quarters in all your years of service to the First Order. His clothes and hair were pristine as usual, and his gloved hands were clasped in front of his Great Coat. 

Your appearance at the moment was quite the opposite. Not in your usual garb, you had your black sweatpants on and you were barefoot. Your saber, although not strapped to your side, lay within a few feet on your night table. Your hair was disheveled from your hand constantly running through it. You stood up straight, your towering frame lending itself to your commanding presence. If you weren’t dressed for the part, you had to play the part.

“I have a proposition for you, Hux. And if you’re as smart as the Supreme Leader believes you to be, then this would be something you can’t refuse.”

Hux shifted his stance, repositioning his clasped hands. You could see in his eyes that he was curious … hungry … greedy. You stared at each other in silence for a few moments until his grating voice broke the ice. “Well what is it? I haven’t got all day.”

“Sit,” you gestured to one of your chairs. “This is going to take awhile.”

**AMIRA**

This was the fourth day in a row you woke up with full blown nausea followed by vomiting. You couldn’t understand it. You were always perfectly fine by mid-day, although you had been unbearably tired the last few days. What a very strange illness. You were growing impatient, hoping the nausea would pass so you could check up on Altair. You hated feeling so helpless and confined to a bed. Your handmaiden held a cool compress to your forehead, stroking your hair and looking to you with concern.

“Princess Amira, permission to speak freely?” she asked.

You opened your eyes and turned to her. Your eyes had been closed for so long that the light peering in from the balcony doors were temporarily blinding.

“Yes,” you said.

“Princess, is it possible you could be pregnant?”

Your body shot up immediately and you gasped loudly, causing her arm to go flailing and your cool compress to smack against the marble floor.

Your mind, racing a mile a minute, started flashing through all the reasons why your handmaiden was probably right. When was the last time you had your period? You couldn’t even recall! So much has happened in the last two months. That had been the last thing on your mind. You also had sex with Kylo multiple times within that time frame -- unprotected.

“Oh Maker,” you groaned as your head fell into your hands. “Bring the physician here immediately,” you said to your handmaiden. “And please get my mother.”

“At once,” she bowed before running from your chambers.

You gently placed a hand on your stomach. “Oh Kylo, what did you do?” you said to yourself. 

Once again, even though Kylo had left you, he seemed to have left something behind.


	35. The Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So will Hux side with Kylo? And will Kylo be a daddy again? Let's find out!

**_KYLO_ **

“That’s ridiculous,” Hux exclaimed. “It’s never going to work. You don’t have that kind of power.” He stood up abruptly, pulling at the bottom of his uniform and tugging it downward. He always did this when he was uncomfortable.

You smirked at how worked up the ginger General had become. You chuckled even. You always found it comical when Hux’s face grew redder than lava. But he needed to understand the severity of the situation, and he needed to know you were serious. It wasn’t helping your cause that you were just in sweatpants, but that was beside the point. Before he could see you smirk, you went back to being stone-faced. “Sit down, Hux,” you said sharply. It wasn’t a request, and Hux knew it. “Sit,” you said again, pointing to the chair. 

Hux took a seat for the second time, slowly. The man was clearly on edge and nervous at the revelation you had just shared with him moments ago. The revelation that you wanted to overthrow and murder Snoke and start a New Order, a joint order of sorts. Work with all political ideas instead of just being the dominating order. Hux looked to his side, as if to make sure no one else was going to be listening.

“Don’t fuck with me, Ren. Are you being serious?” Hux said in a hushed tone.

“I’m not fucking with you, Hux,” you said with a straight face. “For once, I’m not fucking with you.” You stared straight into his eyes. Hux drew a long breath out through his nostrils, clearly contemplating his next response.

You decided to coach him along … just a bit. “Are you with me?” You held out your ungloved hand in hopes he’d return the gesture. You were desperate, but you were trying not to show it. Seconds passed … they felt like minutes. It caught you off guard, then, when you suddenly felt his gloved hand in yours followed by a firm grasp and handshake. Not breaking eye contact with him, you nodded once.

“Tomorrow,” you said. “Meet with me here tomorrow. Same time. I’ll go over everything in detail.”

His hand let go of yours as he stood up and nodded. “Only if you plan on wearing a shirt.”

You snorted in amusement as you watched him leave, not giving him the satisfaction of any semblance of a laugh. You could have sworn you saw Hux with a slight grin as he exited your chambers.

**_AMIRA_ **

You sat on the edge of the Nile, one hand on your belly, thinking about Kylo’s baby growing inside of you. Part of you was happy that, in addition to Altair, you had something else of his to hold on to. Your last official connection even though you had said your sad goodbyes weeks ago.

You wanted to cry, but you forced yourself to smile instead. You were determined to make this a good thing. You were done with feeling sorry for yourself. Besides, the baby inside of you needed you to be healthy and strong, and the first part of being healthy is having a positive attitude.

“Your highness,” your handmaiden called out in back of you. You turned to face her. “The sun is going down. Shall I take you back inside now? You aren’t dressed appropriately, and I don’t want you to fall ill, especially in your condition.”

You smiled. “Yes, but first go to my chambers and get my camera. I left it right next to my journal.”

“Yes, your highness,” she bowed and started walking toward the palace with haste.

You had an idea, and it probably wasn’t going to be a good one, but that wasn’t going to hold you back. Kylo had a right to know he was going to be a father again. He would have found out eventually, but you would have much rather have him find out from you. Yes, you were going to send him a new photo of yourself. Did he even have your old photos saved, you wondered? You were also going to write him a short letter, and then perhaps have Leia deliver it for you. You weren’t doing this in hopes of him coming back to you. You knew that the First Order was too important for him to drop just because he had a family. But you still loved him, and you always would. And simply keeping in contact once in awhile wouldn’t do any harm, right? You hoped you were right. 

“Here you go, miss,” your handmaiden said behind you, holding out your camera. You jumped. You weren’t expecting her that quickly. 

“Thank you,” you smiled. “That was fast.”

“I didn’t want you in the cool air for too long, your highness,” she smiled back.

“Actually, keep the camera and take a picture of me in front of the Nile, please.” You stood up to straighten your hair, but the wind was making it damn near impossible to get it to cooperate.

“Do you know how to use it?” you asked her, as she looked at the device in obvious confusion.

Her cheeks reddened as she continued to finger the object, clearly not having a clue as to how to work it.

“Here,” you said, taking the camera from her hands. “You look through this part here, and when you see a picture good enough to take, you press this button. Simple as that!” You gave the camera back to her. She looked through the eyehole and pointed the camera at you. “You look beautiful right now, miss,” she said. “May I push the button now?”

You laughed. “Yes.”

The Polaroid came out of the back of the camera and you took it, waiting for it to develop. You remember Kylo telling you to shake it for faster results, so you held it by the edge and shook it a bit. A few moments later, you saw yourself. You turned the photo around to show your handmaiden. “Do I look okay?” you asked her. “I mean, if I were to send it to Kylo, do you think he’d like this?”

She nodded enthusiastically. “He’s going to love it.” 

You looked at the picture again. “Okay,” you said thoughtfully. “Let’s go back inside.” You had a letter to write.

**KYLO**  

You had no idea how long you’d been meditating in your chamber for, but the ding of your datapad brought you back to reality. With a long sigh, you stood up and walked into the other room where your datapad lay on your bed. Your heart skipped a beat. It was a coded message sent by none other than your mother.

Your mind was racing, thinking the worst. You weren’t expecting another message from her for another 2 weeks. This wasn’t the timeline you had originally planned and agreed to. Was everything not going according to plan on her side of things? Was she okay? Was Amira okay?

You decoded the transmission quickly, and that’s when you gasped. It was a photo of Amira. She looked so beautiful, and you suddenly remembered you had to breath. You gulped, running your thumb along her face in the picture. “Angel,” you whispered.

Below her photo was a short note from your mother. “Amira asked me to pass this message to you. She said it was very important, and I had to comply with her wishes after reading what it was about. I’m sorry for breaking protocol. Congratulations. You’ll see why. Consider this extra motivation to succeed, now more than ever. May the Force be with you.”

Further down you saw a digital copy of a handwritten note from Amira. You wondered when she learned how to write in Basic. She could speak the language well, but you knew she couldn’t write a lick of it. She must have had some help, and she must have done it all for you. You took a deep breath and started to read. 

_Kylo, my love,_

_I wish I can say I thought long and hard about whether or not to send this to you, but the truth is I didn’t. I decided to write this note and send this photo in haste. If I thought too much about it, I wouldn’t have ended up sending this at all. And I know this is something I had to do._

_Before you worry, I’m doing fine, and Altair is adjusting to life within palace walls better than I have expected. Kylo, he’s so smart and full of life and love. You would be so proud of him. He makes me so happy every day, and whenever I look in his eyes I see you. I wouldn’t have him if it wasn’t for you. I’ll be forever thankful._

_And I’ll continue to be thankful, because another miracle has happened. You’re going to be a father again, Kylo. I’m with child. That means I’ll have another piece of you to love for the rest of my life, and I can’t wait for it._

_This note isn’t to make you feel compelled to come back to us. And it’s not meant to make you feel guilty. I just felt you needed to know the truth, that you will have another part of you out there in the galaxy. Just know that this child will be so loved. I want you to know that in your heart so you never have to worry about us. Thank you so much for blessing me with this gift. I couldn’t have asked for anything more than this. I love you. I’ll always love you. There’s no one else who will ever take your place. Amira._

You read the note over and over again, only stopping when you felt a tear run down your cheek. “Fuuuuck,” you whispered to himself. You were happy. You were overwhelmed. And more than ever you were determined to carry out what you needed to do. You scrolled up to look at Amira’s photo again. “I’ll see you soon, Angel,” you whispered, voice cracking.

  
  
  
  



	36. Staying Faithful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo gets shitfaced, and a pleasure slave aboard the Supremacy attempts to take advantage of him while he's in a very vulnerable state. Can he stay true to his wife?

**_KYLO_ **

Meditation had done nothing to calm you these last few days. The only thing you could think about was the fact that you had a pregnant wife millions of miles away, and that you couldn’t be by her side. You also couldn’t stop thinking about your son and the fact that he was growing up without you. Did he even know who you were? You wondered what kinds of things Amira had told him about you. You clenched your fists thinking about the presence of other males having an influence over your son. Not only that, but Amira was beautiful, and with the amount of men she came in contact with on a daily basis, there was no doubt in your mind that pretty much all of them wanted to fuck her badly.

You took another sip of your Corellian whiskey, and your eyes glazed over the remnants of the liquor in the bottle. Did you really drink that much already? How long had you been sitting on your chair in the dark pitying yourself? Too long, you thought. It must have been a few hours.

This wasn’t like you. You were always focused. Disciplined. Dedicated. In control of your emotions, especially rage. Now here you were, drunk, sitting in black sweatpants with a day’s worth of stubble on your face. You snorted to yourself. You looked far from the powerful Commander of the First Order. Instead, you must have looked like the local drunk who had just lost everything.

You reached for your datapad and opened up Amira’s photo. The picture looked like it was moving. You could see Amira’s hair blowing in the wind. Her big, brown eyes searching your soul. Her smile growing wide, showing a row of teeth that were brighter than the sun. But surely, the picture wasn’t moving. The whiskey was playing its part, loosening up your thoughts and inhibitions, upgrading your reality to one that was far less filled with worry. You tossed your datapad on the seat beside you and took another long sip of whiskey.

_ Beep _ . You turned to the door. Someone was outside. You waved your hand to the door lazily and it slid opened. Hux appeared, dressed and pressed like the General that he was. You thought he’d look at you in disgust, but you saw nothing but … was that pity?

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he said, looking at you and then your near-empty bottle of alcohol.

“I’m meditating,” you said, your speech impaired and slurred. You raised your bottle in the air as if toasting Hux’s presence in mockery.

Then there it was. Hux gave you that look of disgust that seemed to be more of his normal expression.

“You need to get a hold of yourself,” he hissed. “I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.”

“I’ve been preoccupied,” you slurred, lazily holding up your bottle again. You smirked. You never let loose, and it finally felt good to let go of a decade’s worth of tension.

Hux’s cheeks and neck grew red, and he started taking small huffs to calm himself. “I suggest you get yourself in order. I didn’t agree to your plan only for you to get sloppy and get us killed.”

You leaned forward on the couch, still gripping the neck of the large bottle. “I’ll be fine. Just let me have this today.” You waved him off.

Hux noticeably eased up a bit and clasped his hands behind his back. “Well, in the meantime, I have something that might be able to help you. For today, anyway.” He smirked and looked behind him, and in walked a woman who looked very similar to Amira. You recognized her instantly. She was one of the dozens of pleasure slaves brought on board made available to the First Order men who needed release. Back in the day ---  _ way back in the day _ , you’ve made good use of pleasure slaves, and in all honesty, you planned to fuck this one. But then you met Amira.

This particular pleasure slave was olive-skinned and had long dark hair and big brown eyes. She was attractive, but she still didn’t come close to Amira. 

She was barefoot, and you could tell she wasn’t wear a bra, as she was spilling out over the top of her very flimsy, cheap-looking black dress. She smiled at you predatorily, and it made you immediately uncomfortable.

“What is this?” you asked, confused.

Hux looked proud of himself. “This is Vanessa. She’s going to make you feel better than that cheap whiskey your drinking.”

Your eyes darted from Hux to the whore. Your vision was blurry, and you still weren’t fully understanding the situation.

You bowed your head and shook it. “I have a wife,” was all you could come up with.

“She’s across the galaxy, Ren,” Hux huffed. “Allow yourself these simple pleasures. I need you back on your feet.”

You leaned back on the couch and laughed to yourself. “This is ridiculous. Hux.”

“Give me some credit. I chose this one because she looks like Amira,” Hux snapped, almost looking offended. He looked at the girl and nodded. “Go on,” he gestured to her. “I’m paying you well for this. Don’t waste any more time.” 

The woman took a seat on the couch next to you, instantly lowering the top of her dress to expose her breasts. They were full and round and perky, and her nipples were already hardened. You couldn’t help but look. You were a man after all, but you instantly felt guilty and looked up at her face. She was smiling at you like you were the most delicious man in the galaxy.

You shook your head again and ran a hand through your hair nervously. “Hux…” you started to say, but you heard the blast doors close. You looked up, and Hux had left. You were alone in your quarters with a woman who resembled Amira, and she had her tits out of her dress like it was the most normal thing in the world. Well to her, it probably was.

“You need to go,” you said to her without making eye contact, your speech was slow, slurred. You tried to stand up, but the room was spinning, and you fell backward onto the couch, your bottle of whiskey dropping to the plush carpet. Well, that went nowhere fast, you thought.

You felt a hand on your thigh and instantly slide up to palm your cock through your sweatpants, which, to your dismay, was already hard. You were confused and not necessarily aroused, but your cock wasn’t cooperating with you.

“Mmmmm, I always knew Commander Ren had a big dick,” Vanessa purred into your ear, nibbling at your lobe. You don’t remember her getting so close to you. You groaned and hissed in slight pleasure before grabbing her wrist and removing her hand from your cock.

You felt her hands on top of both your shoulders as she pushed you into the couch, your back now laying against the cushions while the room remained spinning. Everything seemed to be moving quickly while you were the only one moving in slow motion. She straddled you and reached for the bottom of her dress, lifting it above her head and throwing it onto the floor. She was completely naked, grinding on your cock, which was now fully hard. You couldn’t control it at this point. You felt the warmth of her pussy through your sweatpants. Wait a minute, your sweatpants were pulled down. You looked down to see your cock pressed up against your stomach, and she was sitting on the lower part of your shaft and balls.

“Don’t you want to fuck your Amira, Commander?” she said in a hushed whisper as she wiggled her hips on your shaft. Her hands were running up and down your chest, her nails gently scratching at your skin. You closed your eyes. The heat of her pussy felt good against the skin of your cock. You missed this feeling. It had been too long without the feeling of being inside of Amira’s tight cunt. Could you do this? Could you just simply fuck this woman that you didn’t care about? Amira would never have to know. You were inebriated. It will be like it never happened.

You ran both hands down your face and let out a loud sigh, thinking for a moment. But you couldn’t think straight. Not in this condition. 

You placed your hand between her full tits, fingers tracing gently down to her firm stomach, but you stopped yourself before you could touch her cunt. You placed your hands on her hips, and for a moment, Vanessa’s eyes grew wide with pleasure. Both of her hands reached up to pull on her nipples while she still rubbed her wet pussy on your lap. But you weren’t trying to position her to keep her grinding on you. You put your hands on her hips to get her off of you. You nudged her backward forcefully and sat up, and she fell on her ass on the other side of the couch with a huff, clearly caught off guard. Her ass was now on the top of your feet, and her legs were completely spread.

You went to reach for the tops of your black sweatpants which somehow ended up by your ankles. You weren’t looking forward to reaching between her legs to retrieve them.

“Get off of me,” you ordered. "You're not my wife." 

You felt yourself sobering up. The severity of this situation was clear. You loved Amira, and you weren’t going to betray her. Instead of moving, Vanessa spread her legs even further apart and started running her fingers along her cunt. Her fingers were glistening as she spread her juices around her clit and folds.

“But look what you did to me, Commander,” she whimpered. She was quite the actress. “Please take care of me.” She held her folds open and pouted, hoping you’d cave.

You yanked your pants up with all your might and found the strength to stand, even though you were a little off balance and wobbly. She closed her legs on the couch and sat there with a big pout on her face.

You adjusted your cock uncomfortably in your sweatpants, feeling her juices lingering on your shaft. “I’m not going to fuck you,” you said coldly. You clenched your jaw as you looked deadpanned into her eyes.

You looked around the floor for her dress and picked it up and crumpled it into a ball, walking over to the blast doors and chucking it as far as it would go into the corridor. Ok, so that was for dramatic effect, but you were still drunk. You stood by the door and gestured for her to get up and leave.

When she didn’t budge, you stormed over to where she was sitting, grabbed the top of her arm and forcefully dragged her across your chambers and threw her into the corridor. You sighed, pressing the button to close the blast doors. You made eye contact with her. She looked stunned, as if no one had ever rejected her pussy before. Well congratulations. You were the first.


	37. Back on Board

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The culmination of Kylo's worst fears are starting to come true. How in the hell is he going to get out of this mess?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the inexcusable gap in my update. I hate people like me. I felt uninspired for so long, and when you write when you're uninspired, then the story turns to shit. Thanks for those who left me some comments. Comments and likes are seriously what keep me going, just knowing that people care about my story and have invested their time in falling in love with Amira and Kylo<3

**_KYLO_ **

 

You woke up with a jolt, covered in a thick sheen of sweat. You turned to the side of your bed where you left a small waste basket before you fell asleep and vomited out all the contents in your stomach from the night before. You downed a glass of water and attempted to right yourself, planting your feet on the plush carpet of your chambers. Something felt wrong. So very wrong, and it wasn’t because you had a hangover.

 

Was it guilt? From last night? No, you didn’t fuck Vanessa, but you let her straddle you, and she was naked. You thought about doing things because Amira wouldn’t ever find out.  _ Thought about it _ . But no, the important thing is you didn’t act on it. You loved Amira dearly. You missed her. She was the mother of your son and your unborn child.

 

_ Arrgggh,  _ you screamed. You grabbed the side of your head as your body lurched forward. You fell onto the floor with a heavy thud. What the fuck was wrong with you? You felt nothing but pain. Physical pain in your head, and … sadness. Overwhelming sadness. Absolute fear. Extreme anger. Uncontrollable uncertainty. Where was this coming from? You raised yourself up on your knees, trying to uncover the source of this unexplainable reaction to … who knows what? 

 

Perhaps it was Snoke. Maybe he somehow uncovered your plan and this was the beginnings of your punishment. Or maybe he didn’t know your plan but had an inkling that something was off. Maybe he was scanning your mind to find out what you had hidden deep down for the last several years. Protecting Amira. Protecting your son.

 

Amira’s face flashed before your eyes, but it wasn’t her beauty and warm smile that stopped your heart. Amira was in pain. Crying. Calling for help. She was in restraints. Her dress dirty and in tatters. And the most horrible realization entered into your mind. Amira was on this ship. Right now. Your body shot up quickly, and you stalked over to your datapad to find that you had 7 unread encrypted messages from your mother. Fuck.  _ FUCK _ . Frantically, you clicked to read them.

 

**L: Ben, the First Order has taken Amira and your son.**

 

**L: Did you know this?**

 

**L: Please tell me you weren’t behind this, Ben.**

 

**L: I don’t know if you’re still alive, but please answer me when you can.**

 

**L: Amira doesn’t deserve this. Altair doesn’t deserve this.**

 

**L: We need to get them back safely.**

 

**L: We will be on standby.**

  
  


_ No. NO.  _ This can’t be. What went wrong? Did Hux betray you? The world was spinning before you, and you felt a strong urge to vomit again. You closed your eyes. Amira and Altair were on this ship. Their presence was strong. You could almost reach out and touch them. They were definitely on this ship. You had to find out what was going on, but you needed to respond to your mother before her panic grew stronger.

 

**B: I didn’t get your messages until now.**

**  
** **B: I was not behind this, but I sense their presence on my ship.**

 

**B: I’ll bring them both back safely.**

 

**B: Abort our previous plan. I have a new one.**

  
  


You threw on your pants, tunic and belt and clipped on your lightsaber. The moment you stepped into the corridor, you were hyper aware of your surroundings. Stormtroopers and other military personnel were still shifting to the side to make more room for you, and they still saluted you out of both fear and respect. But they were also looking at you oddly, and you remembered that you left your room in such a hurry and forgot to put on your helmet. Well, here you were in all your glory. There was nothing else that mattered more to you than Amira, your son and your unborn child. You followed your force connection to Amira in block K7, which contained holding cells that were reserved for prisoners that were higher in class than the usual scum you dealt with. 

 

You stopped in front of cell #2, demanding the two troopers who were patrolling the corridor to open the door. They did, quickly, which was a good sign. That meant no one gave them instructions to keep you away from your wife and son. But when the cell door opened, your fears grew. It was empty.

 

“Where is she?” you barked.

 

“She was taken to the medbay, sir,” one of the troopers responded.

 

Shit. You wondered if she was okay, or if there complications with the baby from all the stress she was under. Or maybe someone had hurt her so badly she needed a quick patching.

 

“Injuries?” you snapped.

 

“No injuries, sir. She was with child,” he said.

 

You breathed a sigh of relief, thankful your back was turned to the troopers so they wouldn’t pick up on it.

 

“And my son?” It felt surreal to say that out loud. You hadn’t really talked or mentioned your son out loud, especially to stormtroopers.

 

“He’s with the Supreme Leader, my lord.” 

 

You turned on your heel quickly to leave without another word or glance in their direction. The next person you needed to speak to was Hux.

 

You knew he’d be on the bridge.

 

“General Hux,” you announced as you approached the bridge. “We need to have a conversation,” you motioned to a side conference room.

 

He nodded once, hands clasped behind his back. He entered the room, and you followed quickly behind him before slamming the door.

 

“Am I missing something?” you asked as calmly as you could. Appearing complacent was taking a lot of effort.

 

“It wasn’t my doing, Ren. One of my troopers recognized her and reported it. It got out to too many superiors, and if she wasn’t brought in, there would have been too many questions. I had no choice. Our plans would have been foiled. We would have been finished.”

 

You ran a hand through your hair and pulled on it slightly.

 

“Our plans are fucked anyway if she and my son are on this ship.” You screamed in anger and kicked on of the chairs around the conference room table.

 

“Lower your voice, Ren,” Hux chided.

 

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath in, and then out. “What does he have planned for her? For him?” You didn’t really want to ask that question because you didn’t want to know the answer, but you had to. 

 

“I won’t sugarcoat this, Ren. Snoke wants her dead. And the boy ... Skywalker blood runs through his body. He’s your heir. He’s going to be trained, by both you and the Supreme Leader.”

 

You gritted your teeth at Snoke’s unspeakable plans for the both of them. “Hux, she’s pregnant.” 

 

“I’m aware,” Hux said cautiously.

 

“It’s mine.”

 

Hux took a deep breath. “I don’t know how that’s going to be explained to the Supreme Leader without you giving away the fact that you’re a traitor.”

 

“I know.”

 

“But if you told him the truth, he’d keep her alive for the sake of her having a second child of yours. Another one of your heirs to train.”

 

“But then he’d kill me,” you said softly, staring into nothing.

 

“Maybe. Or he’d teach you a very painful lesson.”

 

You thought long and hard for a moment. It would have to take everything you had to get yourself and your family out of this mess.

 

“Hux, I have an idea,” you turned to him with a slight smile.

 

“What now?” he quipped.

  
“Are you aware of how my grandfather was conceived?”

 

“Vader. Yes. He had no actual father. He was conceived by something mysterious in the force.”

 

You nodded. “There have been stories, Hux. Very rare, but stories of those who are deeply connected. Females have actually become pregnant without actual intercourse.”

 

Hux nodded, balancing his chin on his thumb and forefinger. “I think I know where you’re getting at.”

 

“I’m no stranger to deceiving Snoke. I’ve been doing it for the past few years, and successfully. He can’t see through me. I can do this, if it will keep Amira safe until we can move forward with our plan.”

 

Hux pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. “Ren, do you think we can still pull this off?”

 

You squared your shoulders and rolled your neck from side to side. Hux winced at the cracking noises they made. “Yes,” you said flatly, annoyed at his lack of faith.

 

You both stood in silence for a few moments before Hux broke it.

 

“I suppose you want to go see your wife.”

 

**_AMIRA_ **

 

The room you were being held in wasn’t a typical room you were used to. There were machines and gadgets everywhere. Flickering lights made by said machines. Occasional beeping noises going off from various areas of the room. And the smell. It smelled like metal and medicine. You missed the warm glow of your home. The incense and candles and soothing healers. The healers, or nurses and doctors as they called them here, were so formal, dressed in all white. They weren’t warm. They weren’t friendly. They treated you like you were a job, which, of course you were. 

 

Your hand moved toward your stomach, which barely gave away the fact that you had a baby inside of you. You were still in the very beginning stages of your pregnancy, probably no more passed the third month. Everything seemed fine, but you were being kept under close observation. When you and Altair were taken, the stormtroopers weren’t exactly the most gentle with you. None of them had known you were pregnant. But before they could inject you with whatever poison was in that needle, you shouted it at the top of your lungs in that cell. And now here you were. It looked like these people had a heart after all, not wanting to kill a woman who was harboring a life inside of her.

 

The room to your door slid open, and in walked two stormtroopers and … Kylo! You sucked in a breath and gripped your sheets tightly. It felt like your heart stopped completely, and all you wanted to do was jump off the bed and hold him, but you also had to keep your distance. You hadn’t spoken to him in awhile, and you wondered if he was still the man you knew. Did he revert back to being fully devoted to the First Order? Did Snoke poison his mind against you? Perhaps he married another woman. A woman who was much more devoted to the First Order than you. Maybe he hated you for leaving. You kept your mouth shut and waited for him to make the first move. 

 

“Leave,” he addressed the stormtroopers without looking at them.

 

Without a second thought, they left quickly and closed the door behind them.

 

The second the door clicked, Kylo ran over to you and leaned over the bed. His lips were on yours and then he moved to nuzzle his face in your neck. His arms held you without putting his weight on your body. “Angel,” he whispered.

 

“Kylo,” you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him close. You couldn’t help the tears that were flowing freely down your face. “Kylo, I’m so sorry.”

 

“Shhh,” he gently soothed you. “Don’t do that. This isn’t your fault.”

 

“I was so scared, Kylo. I thought maybe you were behind this. Maybe you had changed your mind and wanted us back. Or wanted me dead.”

 

He looked at you, shaking his head slowly. “I dreamed of being with you every single day, angel,” he whispered. “But not like this.”

 

“Where’s Altair,” you asked. “They separated us as soon as we were brought on board. I haven’t seen him since. He must be so scared.”

 

He moved a strand of hair out of your eyes. “He’s going to be fine. I feel his presence right now, and he’s safe. He’s not scared. I’m not going to let anything happen to him, I promise you that, Angel.”

  
Your thoughts shifted to the baby inside of you. Kylo’s baby. He must have sensed what you were thinking as his hands drifted down to your abdomen. You laid your hand on top of his. It felt comforting for him to touch you there. His hand was warm and large and spanned the entire length of your stomach. He took a deep breath, and you could tell he was taking all of this in at the same time you were.

 

“What’s going to happen, Kylo? Am I going to die?” you asked tearfully.

 

His eyes narrowed and pressed his lips together. “No,” he said angrily, through gritted teeth. “I’m going to talk to Snoke.”

 

You furrowed your brows and tilted your head slightly. “Kylo, what are you going to tell him? If you tell him this baby’s yours, the extent of your betrayal is going to be out in the open. And I can’t even begin to imagine what would happen to you.”

 

He stood up to his full height at the side of your bed, your hand in his. You never wanted him to let go.

 

“I have a plan. I’m going to have to lie, and Snoke is going to believe it. But he’s going to likely interrogate you to corroborate the extent of my truth.”

 

Your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach. You knew what this meant. Kylo was going to have to alter your memories again. There was no question about it. If he altered your memories, you truly wouldn’t be able to recall those times he was with you or recall knowing the whereabouts of your son and the Resistance.

 

“Kylo, I love you,” you blurted out. You wanted to tell him that -- you needed for him to know that before he took away whatever he needed for him to continue his lies.

 

“I love you angel,” he smiled. It was a sad smile. You could see the pain in his eyes. But then his gloved hand hovered over your face, and then there was darkness.


	38. Need You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It has been so long, but the smut has returned.

Everything went dark, but then it was light again. And you realized the black leather glove above your face had moved away, and so did Kylo.

  
“Kylo?” you turned to look at him, sitting up on your elbows.

 

Kylo had a grimace on his face, shaking his head slightly and looking down. “I can’t do it,” he said to no one in particular. “I don’t want you to forget me again. I can’t do it again,” he murmured.

 

“Baby, come here. It’s okay.” You beckoned him to come closer, patting the bed for emphasis. You didn’t say it out loud, but you were relieved.

 

He sauntered over, leaning over the bed, his palms on either side of you. “I’m going to need you to become the best liar of your life, Angel. You’re going to need to do it for me and our son. And our baby. Can you do that?” The desperation in his voice was clear.

 

You were scared, but it’s not like you had a choice. You wanted a life with Kylo. You wanted your children by both of your sides. Safe and happy.

 

“Yes,” you said. “I can do it.” And you believed it.

 

“Good,” he whispered against your lips. “Now, I’m going to have an escort take you to my quarters, and I’ll meet you there shortly.”

 

You nodded. “I think I can remember how to get back myself.”

 

“We’re not on the Finalizer. We’re on the Supremacy.”

 

“Oh. Is it …”

 

“It’s Snoke’s ship,” he answered before you could ask.

 

“I see.”

 

“Nothing will happen to you on here. I don’t want you to worry.”

 

“Okay. Are you going to be gone long?” Suddenly, it wasn’t too appealing to be without Ben, on a strange ship no less.

 

“No, Angel.” He kissed you gently on your lips. “I love you. I’ll see you soon.”

 

You smiled. “I love you.”

 

The door opened with a wave of his hand, and in walked two stormtroopers.

 

“Walk her back to my chambers,” Kylo barked. “She’s not to be touched. If anything happens to her or my unborn child, your heads will be rolling on the floor before you even realize you’re dead.”

 

* * *

  


Kylo’s quarters on the Supremacy were far more luxurious than the Finalizer. And that’s saying a lot, because you remember your shared quarters on the Finalizer were quite extravagant. Everything was shiny and black, and there were no personal items to show that someone had been living in it. Well, except for his clothes that were hanging in his massively thread bare closet. It even smelled empty, and clean. He must have had people clean his quarters on the hour every hour that he wasn’t there.

 

You walked to the kitchen area and opened the ice box and frowned when you saw that it was completely empty. You looked around for a data pad that would allow you to order a meal, and silently cheered when you located a menu for ordering. You ordered for the both of you, figuring Kylo would have an appetite as well when he came back.

 

You heard the chamber doors open, and Kylo strided in, fumbling with his belt at the same time. You stood up as he tossed his belt on the floor. He had a hunger in his eyes you were all too familiar with, and you felt your arousal pooling between your legs. You could feel your cheeks flush slightly.

 

“Hi,” you said softly.

 

His breathing was heavy. You could see his chest rising and falling deeply. He dipped his chin lower and looked at you through hooded lids. “Come here,” he commanded.

 

You gulped and made your way over to him slowly, teasingly. You wanted to drag out his want and need for as long as possible. You stood before him, waiting and vulnerable to his predatory intentions. He reached around you, unhooking the fasteners that secured your dress. You felt his breath on your neck as your dress fell down your body and pooled around your ankles. For a moment, you were self-conscious about the small baby bump protruding from your abdomen. It had been so long since you and Kyo were intimate. But then he spoke, calming your thoughts and nerves.

 

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he whispered in your ear while peppering your neck with kisses. You felt his large hands glide over your abdomen and up towards your breasts, cupping them in his hands. His head dipped and you felt his tongue grazing your nipple. You fisted his hair and let out a soft moan. You missed his touch, the feel of his hands and tongue on your body. The way he took you and claimed you like he knew you he owned you.

 

Kylo sensed your thighs inadvertently rubbing together, seeking out some sort of friction. You felt his hand suddenly where you needed them most and were secretly pleased at the slick you knew he was feeling at that moment. “Fuuuuuck,” he said softy, his voice lower than usual. His fingers split the seam of your pussy lips, rubbing back and forth over your sensitive nub. “Kylo,” you mewled.

 

“What is it, baby?” he replied rather quickly. Eagerly.

 

“I need you,” you managed to choke out through pants. “I … need….”

 

“Need what baby? Say it.”

 

You cupped him through his trousers and ran your hand along his hard length. You heard him exhale through his nose loudly. “I need you, inside of me …” you begged. “Please?”

 

He growled, lifting you up and bringing each of your legs around his hips and practically ran to his bed. You could feel his hardness pressed against your core. He tossed you gently on the bed. You leaned back on your palms and watched him work on his own clothes … his tunic, undershirt, and then his boots and trousers. He took his length in his hands and stroked himself, staring at your nakedness.

 

You couldn’t wait anymore. “Kylo…. Make love to me,” you begged, squeezing your legs together.

 

“No,” he said. You could see an evil smirk forming behind his lustful gaze.

 

“What?” you cried out in confusion.

 

“I’m not going to make love to you,” he responded. “I’m going to fuck you so hard you’re not even going to be able to speak or think. You’re going to be reminded of my cock every time you try and sit for the next week. Do you understand?”

 

You inhaled sharply. If this was the first time you were fucking Kylo Ren, you would have been scared out of your mind. You thought back to that first night on the Finalizer, when he wanted to take you, and how scared you were of him. His big, hulking frame. His intimidating mask. His uniform. The way he touched you without your permission, but somehow it was still acceptable since you were husband and wife. You were terrified of him, and frankly, the act of sex itself. It would have been hard to lose your virginity to someone you loved nevermind a complete stranger that was … him.

 

But now here you were, years later. Mother to one of his sons and soon-to-be mother of his second child. Your love for him ran deeper than the Nile. And you wanted this man to ravage every inch of your body.

 

“I said, do you understand?” he repeated his last words. His dick was still in his hands. You forgot how large he was, and you wondered how it was going to feel inside of you. It had been so long.

 

“Yes,” you nodded eagerly.

 

You started to back yourself up against the headboard, but Kylo reached for your ankle and slid you forcefully back to the edge of the bed. You felt his hands on the inside of your thighs and knees, shoving them apart. You cried out loudly when you felt his warm tongue lick a stripe from your entrance to your swollen bundle of nerves.

 

He took his time on you, drawing up your wetness from your entrance every few strokes. Circling your clit, stroking it with a flat tongue, and gently sucking with the perfect amount of pressure. It wasn’t until you felt his fingers slide into you that you came moments later. You forgot how large his fingers were, and it was such a delicious stretch. He sat back on his ankles after he cleaned up your pussy juice with his tongue, sucking on his fingers until your essence was gone. He stood up, palming his cock again. It was harder than ever, jutting out and pointing at you, red, weeping and angry.

 

The bed dipped when he lowered himself down, both of his palms resting on the bed next to the side of your head. You felt him line his cock up to your entrance, and you waited for him to push through. He snapped his hips forward aggressively, shoving his entire length inside of you all at once. You heard the slap of himself against your wet sex as you cried out for the second time tonight. He hissed at the feeling of the warm tightness of your pussy. You weren’t expecting him to take you so quickly, and he didn’t even give you time to adjust yourself to his length and girth before he starting pumping into you with force. The all-familiar pinch and stretch of your pussy was starting to dull as your cunt provided more wetness for his cock.   
  
“Nothing is ever going to feel as good as you,” he said as he took you.

 

Your hands were splayed across his chest, which you swear got even more chiseled and muscular during your time apart. Kylo was solid, and the female side of you relished in the fact that someone so big and so strong was hovering over you, dominating you, and fucking you like a fierce beast.

 

He threw one of your legs over his shoulder for deeper penetration, and you could certainly feel it poking you somewhere deep down. But you still loved it as you screamed out in pleasure and called out his name. You felt his fingers on your clit, moving in unison with each thrust. When you came, you felt yourself lose control of your body. “Kylo,” you moaned. Your vision went black, and you felt your nails digging into his skin, sure they were leaving marks.

 

“I missed feeling your pussy come on my cock,” he whispered.

 

He pulled out of you when you came down from your orgasm and flipped you over, lifting your ass up so you were on your elbows and knees. You were thankful he lifted your ass because you felt like you were boneless and probably wouldn’t have been able to lift yourself.

 

You felt his finger stroking you from behind. “Your cunt is an absolute mess,” he said softly, staring at your glistening pussy. The air was cold on the ship, and you could feel how wet you were. He dragged his finger up your cunt, all the way to your ass, and you felt his thumb press on your back entrance. You jumped.

 

“Kylo … ,” you started to question his intentions.

 

“Shhhhh,” he silenced you. “Trust me.”

 

You felt his wet thumb push inside. It wasn’t the most unpleasant feeling in the world, but it wasn’t amazing either.

  
“So tight,” he cooed. You mewled as he pumped his thumb in and out of you.

 

He pushed himself slowly inside your pussy and purposely dragged his cock out slowly, repeating the process again. You felt so full with Kylo using both of your entrances to please himself. And the more he ran his thumb inside of your back entrance, the more pleasure you started to feel. You pushed yourself back onto his cock to encourage him to take you harder. You felt him remove his thumb and grab both of your hips in a bruising grip.

 

“Mmmm, you’re so thirsty for my cock, aren’t you baby?”

 

“Uh huh,” you responded, still pressing back against his cock.

 

You felt his hand grasp around your throat and he pulled you up against his body, your back to his chest, the both of you upright and on your knees. You gasped. Kylo was so deep like this. With one hand splayed on your belly and the other on your throat, he rammed into you relentlessly. You arched your back to angle your clit to feel the drag of his dick going in and out of you and reached both of your hands back to grab his hair.

 

You came and thrust your head back as he sucked on to your neck. He wasn’t too far behind, spilling himself deep inside of you. You were comforted by the fact that you could feel each breath he took as you leaned against his chest. He gently pulled himself out of you, the both of you laying down on the bed, facing each other and feeling incredibly satiated.

 

You brushed a sweaty strand of hair out of his eyes and leaned forward to kiss him on the lips. “I love you.”

 

He smiled lazily. “I love you, Angel.”

 

You had been wanting to ask him a question for the longest time, and now felt as good as any to ask it. You took a deep breath.

 

“Kylo?”

 

“Mmmm,” he mumbled.

 

“Was there anyone else? All this time we were apart. Was there ever anyone else?” You were afraid of the answer, and you hated yourself for asking. But somehow, you needed to know.

 

Kylo sighed, and you knew he was going to respond with something you didn’t want to hear. At least you knew he’d never lie to you.

 

“Angel …” Kylo started.

 

“It’s okay, Kylo,” you interjected. “We were apart for a long time.”

 

He had a pained look on his face. “The first time I erased your memories of me, I didn’t plan on ever seeing you again.”

 

He ran a hand through his hair in deep thought and continued.

 

“They were a means to an end,” he tried to reassure you. “None of them could ever hold a candle to you.” He took your hand and kissed the inside of your wrist.

 

“Th...them?” you asked, trying not to sound so disappointed.

 

He looked a little guilty but changed the subject quickly.

  
“Was there anyone else … for you?” he asked hesitantly.

 

You shook your head quickly. “Never.”

 

A wave of relief flashed across his face.

 

You had to pee. You sat up quickly, wincing from the pounding you had received just minutes prior.

 

You heard Kylo chuckle.

 

“What?” you said with a slight smile.

 

“I told you.”  
  
“Told me what?”

 

“That you’ll be thinking of my cock every time you sit for the next week.”


End file.
